A Walk in the Park--Larry Stylinson

Under a Magnifying Glass

All those prying eyes. The staring continued. Louis felt embarrassment and great discomfort, and trying to shake it off wasn't working. He glanced at Harry. Harry obviously didn't feel all those orbs penetrating his being. Either that or he was oblivious, which seemed to be an interesting talent of his. In any case, his inner social butterfly was emerging. He was lively as he talked with Brooke and Aaron. Looked as relaxed as if he was in his own living room bantering with Louis.

Louis envied him. How did he do it? Wasn't he afraid of what these people might think? Or his mental approach to it could be he just plain didn't care, and Louis surmised that must be it. Harry was the type who would want to be accepted exactly like he was. And that seemed to appeal to people, as more and more of the crowd gravitated toward him. Men and women alike were enchanted with him, apparently even if they suspected he was gay.

Just like I am, thought Louis. People tried to include Louis in the conversation, but he had a hard time concentrating, tripping all over his own tongue. He'd never been in this situation before. Gay bars, yes. But in a big group of the general population? No. People who weren't also gay? Never in his current life.

Harry laid a tender-light hand on Louis' forearm for the briefest second.

"Havin' a hard time?" he asked Louis inconspicuously as he spoke quietly into his ear.

Louis shrugged. "A little, yeah."

"Wanna leave?"

Harry was clearly having a good time, yet he would willingly leave in an instant if Louis asked him to. Could you possibly ask for a better friend? Louis' heart pulsed with soft warmth.

"No . . . I need to face this and not be afraid."

Harry nodded and smiled full-on, dimples promising he'd be there, and wouldn't leave Louis' side.

"Come on, guys!" Brooke cried, directing her attention to Louis and Harry. "Grab a paper plate and get over there for a burger or a hot dog! We have potato salad, chips, dip, deviled eggs too. Just help yourselves!" She ushered them to the grill.

The guy cooking over it asked what they wanted. They both got a burger, then grabbed onions, cheese, relish and ketchup for their condiments, and found two chairs that they pulled together. Not too close though--Louis didn't want them to look like lovebirds until they were accepted by these people. And that wouldn't be happening tonight, thank God. Accepted as friends of Brooke maybe, but as a gay couple? Totally different story.

Harry was devouring his burger and stuffing chips into his mouth, while Louis just nibbled at his. He was afraid of being mortified. Brooke might have a slip of the tongue at any time, and even Harry might. Not on purpose, but Harry sometimes didn't think before he spoke.

The people were all very friendly and included Louis and Harry as much as they could, all sitting in chairs, forming an enormous circle, and some sitting at a picnic table. Louis regretted that he and Harry hadn't brought their own canvas chairs. There were enough chairs for everyone, although just barely.

Brooke and Aaron must have a lot of friends, reflected Louis. There were mostly young people, but they seemed to range in age anywhere from their twenties to their fifties. Some might be family, too. Louis wasn't sure.

Aaron's house was fairly small and cozy looking, modest with a mild country flair and a wooden rear patio, his back yard huge--perfect for having barbeques. It made Louis feel a pang of wistfulness. It was domestic and inviting. He'd like to have a house like it someday. Somewhere to call home. But right now, Louis was dreading the questions, and no sooner did he think about it than here they came.