The Devil's Angel

Chapter 10

"Ano po?" Tanong ko sa Tita ni Nathan na organizer ng Santacruzan.

"There's no time to ask question. Hurry up! Come with me!" Striktang sabi nya. Hindi ko na nagawang umapila pa dahil hinila niya na ako paakyat sa ikalawang palapag ng mansyon at dinala nya ako sa silid ni Nathalie.

"Ayusan nyo sya. We only have twenty five minutes before the event starts so do it fast!" Saad nya sa mga taong nasa silid ni Nathalie and I guess they are the make up artists and the stylists.

Mabilis nila akong inupo sa silyang nasa harap ng malaking vanity mirror at inumpisahan na nila akong ayusan. They are really fast and it really amazes me how they can do this stuff.

Makalipas ang ilang minutong paglalagay ng kolorete sa mukha ko they are now working on my hair. They put alot of hair spray and they curled it as well. Pagkatapos non ay agad nila akong pinaghubad ng damit.

But because I'm a bit conservative at hindi ako sanay na naghuhubad sa harap ng ibang tao. I decided to change in the restroom but they stopped me dahil hindi ko daw kayang isuot yon ng nag-iisa. Kaya wala na akong nagawa. I took off my shirt and also my sando and they are shocked staring at my chest!

"Wala kang dibdib?" Gulat na tanong ng isa sa mga stylist.

"Hi-hindi po ako babae. Lalaki po ako." Mabilis kong sagot.

Nabigla sila sa sinabi ko. "Akala namin babae ka! Kailangan natin ng ilalagay dyan sa dibdib mo." Saad naman ng isa pang stylist.

Isinuot na nila sa akin ang kulay asul na Filipiña gown at may inilagay silang foam sa dibdib ko at sinigurado nilang hindi iyon matatanggal. They instructed me to wear the white three-inch heels and the last thing that they put on me is the beautiful silver crown.

"Ang ganda mo hija." Saad ng babaeng may edad na stylist.

"Hindi ko in-expect na kaya ko palang magpaganda sa loob lamang ng kinse minutos." Dagdag pa ng make-up artist na nag-ayos sa akin.

In just fifteen minutes they were all done styling and making me ready for the Santacruzan. I look at myself on the mirror at natulala nalamang ako sa hitsura ko ngayon. I cried and I immediately wiped those tears beacuse I don't want to ruin my make up.

Nakakatuwang makita ang sarili ko sa ganitong anyo. I really felt the happiness in me dahil magkamukhang magkamukha kami ni Mommy noong kabataan nya. We really looked the same and I guess I should continue turning myself into a woman dahil ito ang pangarap ko noon pa man.

Before, I was quite shy and feel awkward imagining myself wearing woman's clothes dahil baka hindi bagay sa akin o baduy o baka laitin lang ako ng mga taong makakita sa akin. But I was wrong. It really looks good in me. At pakiramdam ko unti-unti ng nagiging babae ang buo kong pagkatao seeing myself look like this.

Yes I know I am gay. I was born in a man's body and I have this woman's heart in me. But we have our choices, we have our own decisions kung ano at sino ang pipiliin nating maging tayo. We can be whatever we want and that's our choice, but my choice now is to turn myself into a woman.

I want to be a woman.

******

Nakakapit ako ngayon sa handrail ng hagdan habang maingat akong naglalakad pababa. I'm wearing three-inch heels and I need to be careful dahil hindi pa naman ako masyadong sanay magsuot ng heels. I look down at napahinto ako nang makita kong nakatitig silang lahat sa akin.

Mayor and Governor Salvatore are staring at me. I saw their eyes expanded. My attention went to Mrs. Montenegro and Governor Salvatore's wife and they are also the same- staring at me with this huge eye expression. Napalunok ako. I continued walking down and my eyes reached Nathalie and she's boringly staring at me.