Fake Love; NamKook

ChApTeR eIgHt

Namjoon

I'm fucking dense. All my life I've prided myself on my knowledge and thirst for answers and yet...I just can't figure the man in front of me out. I'm good at everything...except people. Socially, I'm awkward. I can never read people.
It's why I've always prefers being alone—besides Jin and...Jungkook, of course. The only two people I've ever allowed myself to trust and get close to. And look how that turned out the first time?
"Why are you being this way? Really?"
He stares at me intently like he's waiting for something...but gives up, shaking his head. "I need people at the company to believe we are a couple. Telling your best friend would be the first thing to do, right? It's common sense." His eyes narrow when he mentions Jin. "Am I wrong?"
I guess that does make sense, though I don't want to admit it. "Fine." Sighing. "I'll talk to him later, though."
"Just make sure you do."
I glance out the window. "I need to go get my stuff from his place, though."
Nodding, he tells the driver to take us to my old apartment. Do I even want to know how he knows my address? I let it go for the time being.
     Once inside my and Jin's place, I begin packing up a few of my things in a duffle bag. Jungkook just wanders around the place, studying my room and the pictures of me and Jin decorating the place.
      He pauses on one hidden at the back of my nightstand, lifting the frame up. "Y-you kept this?"
     I glance up, pausing. He's holding the only picture I ever kept of him and me as kids. I just couldn't find it in myself to trash it like all the others. Now I regret that. "It's not a big deal." Shrugging it off.
     He runs his fingers over the glass. "I still have this picture, too." He admits.
     "Why? I thought you wanted to lose every part of our friendship?" I scoff, a little bitterly.
He places the picture back down, looking at me with a seriousness that sobers me. "It's complicated, Joonie."
"Don't call me that." It comes out reflexively.
His eyes tighten. "Are you finished here, Joonie."
Rolling my eyes, I finish up. "I'm ready, I guess. I'll get all my other stuff when I find another place after this is all over." I sigh.
He says nothing as we leave and head back to his house.

********************************

His appa is, thankfully, not around. He makes me really uncomfortable. Like his disappointment in me just radiates around him. Like he thinks I corrupted his son or something.
I'm awkward as I follow him back up to his bedroom and drop my bag. "Don't you have work to do? You know, as the CEO and stuff?" I ask, wanting some alone time.
"Nope. Everything needing done I have finished before I leave. I'm free now."
     Just great. "Okay...well...I have stuff to do so—"
"Namjoon, can we just stop this and go back to how it was? Before everything changed?" He sighs.
I look at him in shock. Is he serious? He did this. He changed everything. "No." Point blank. "You can't just come back from shit like that. I'm only helping you because you keep threatening me and I signed a contract."
He looks disappointed. "I really have missed you."
Crossing my arms, I scowl at him. "You were my only friend, Jungkook. I would have done anything for you. Sacrificed anything in my life for you and you just..." I shake my head. "You left me, remember? You made it clear you didn't want me in your life. You can't just change your mind whenever you feel like it and play with other people's minds and lives."
      He groans. "I was a kid, okay! I'd never been out on my own without you until I moved! I was all alone. I messed up, okay! I got in with some bad people and it changed me. I hurt you and I'm sorry. I was stupid and immature and let you go. I fucked up. I'm only human, Namjoon! Please just forgive me and let's start over!"
      My lips press into a hard line. Finally. I've been waiting for this. Doesn't change anything, though. "I can't, I'm sorry."
      "You replaced me!" He accuses.
     "You pushed me away! What else was I supposed to do! I needed someone. I had no one after you, Jungkook. I waited so long and saved up so much money just to go see you and it was all just wasted. I wasted my time on you." I blurt out.
      He flinches. "You...wasted your time...on me.."
     My eyes widen. "I didn't mean it like that—"
     "No. I'm sure you did. I get it. You hate me now. I get it—we can't go back." He looks away, his jaw working. Anger piercing his eyes. "Doesn't change anything now, though. We can't start over as friends—fine. Forget about that. We have a contract, though. You are mine. My boyfriend. Start acting like it." He walks out of the room, slamming the door rather loudly behind him.
      I slump down on the bed. Shit. That didn't go well. I didn't mean to be so harsh but...god, I'm still bitter and hurt over the past. I want to be over it but it's hard.
And I don't know if I can do what he wants me to. I don't know what's it's like to be someone's boyfriend—especially his. I'm not good with intimacy—even if it's faked. He really chose the wrong person and if he knows me as well as he thinks he does he would know that. He made a mistake with me. I'm not the man he wants me to be.