Fake Love; NamKook

ChApTeR tWeNtY tWo

Namjoon

     I decide not to tell Jungkook about Choi's proposition. The morning after, I lied to him and told him that his friends called me to pick him up and nothing else happened.
     He didn't mention meeting Choi there and I didn't bring up the obvious evasion. Did he do something before I got there? Why would he feel guilty and the need to lie to me?
     Maybe I'm overthinking. Most definitely am overthinking but I'm weary now. It's been four days since that night and although I've spotted Choi lurking around the company...he's never once came up to me to mention his little threat.
     I can feel his eyes on me everywhere, however. It puts me on edge and I'm making mistakes on my work.
     Groaning, I crumble my latest blueprint and toss it in the trash, disgruntled.
     Hoseok casually watches my mini episode with a perplexed look on his face. He's become a rather good friend to me lately. The urge to vent to him is extremely high but I honestly don't want anyone knowing about this situation.
      I want to keep Jungkook in the dark. He wants to forget about that night? Fine. I'll help him by removing the problem by myself. I can handle Choi on my own, anyhow.
I really don't want Jungkook involved. I will protect him on my own.
"So...how's it goooing?" Hoseok drags out the last word almost in a sing song way as he plops down across from me. "Need to talk?"
I press my lips into a hard line. Conflicted. "Everything's fine."
"Liar. Trouble in paradise already? You two haven't even gotten married yet." He teases.
I scoff, unable to even pretend amusement. "I said it's fine. There's nothing wrong with me or my relationship."
"Uh huh. And I'm a fucking Kpop idol. I may not be a genius like you but I'm not that dense. Somethings up. I'm your friend here. Talk to me. I won't blab it out or anything." He frowns.
I snort, imagining the easy going cheerful man as an actual idol instead of a head department manager of an engineering company. Hilarious. "It's really nothing..." My mouth twists as he eyes me suspiciously—totally not buying it.
With a sigh, I open up and tell him everything that happened that night and about the issue with Choi.
His mouth drops open in shock. "I know I didn't like that arrogant asshole. Always skulking around the department and shit." He glowers.
"Don't let Jungkook know about this." I'm secretly impressed by how quickly his expression turns dark from his usually always happiness. Like this is a personal attack against him. He really is a good friend.
     "Obviously. I won't say anything so you don't need to worry." He pauses. "What are you planning on doing about him, though? He seems too arrogant and cocky to just let it go and walk away. I don't think he's going to let you be."
      I nod solemnly. "I know. I haven't figured it out yet."
     Sighing, he leans back in his seat, studying me carefully. "You said he only gave you a week, right? Hasn't it already been that long now? He's going to come to collect at some point."
     My fist clenches unconsciously. "Anytime now. I'm waiting for him too—"
    "Who are you waiting for?" Jungkook pokes his head into the office, catching the end of my words. I quickly close my mouth so not to reveal anything.
     Hoseok gives me a conspiratory glance before hopping up and urging Jungkook towards his main office. "Ah. We were waiting for you! I need to talk to you about this paperwork on the new project..."
      As his voice trails off and I'm left alone, I release a deep breath I hadn't known I'd been holding. Shit. That was close. And this is why I hate lying and keeping secrets but it's for Jungkook's own good.
At least I keep telling myself that.
Am I wrong?
Deep down I know that maybe this isn't the way to make it right...but....
There's nothing for it now, though. I've already come this far. I have to finish this to the end.
"Joon?"
Steeling myself, I glance up to see Jungkook back once more. "Yeah?"
"I'm done with work. Do you want to head out with me and grab some dinner and maybe...chat or something?" He looks hesitant.
"Yeah. We can go. Let me finish up in here."
I tidy up my discarded crumbled mess of papers and grab my things, eager to leave this place, honestly.
I follow Jungkook out to his car and we head to a nice restaurant, sitting down and remaining silent. The air is thick with unresolved tension. I try to ignore it.
I feel his eyes on me but I busy myself with my napkin, folding it over and over in anxiety.
"Joonie."
"Mhm..."
"Can you please look at me?"
Reluctantly, I do as he asks.
Sighing, he reaches across the table and snatches the now shredded napkin out of my hand. "What's going on? I'm not stupid. You've been acting really weird lately and can't even meet my eyes. Can you please talk to me? Did something happen? Are you regretting this engagement? Do you—"
"It's nothing, Kookie. Don't worry about it." I sigh. "Really. It's not you."
"Bullshit. Don't fucking coddle me, hyung. Somethings up and I want to know what it is." Abruptly his commanding CEO nature is revealed within his impatience.
I smile despite myself. "As your hyung, I'm telling you—my issue isn't about you."  
     "Then it's about us?"
     I scowl. "No."
     A pause takes over his face and he studies me. "Is this about Choi Seung hyun?"
    I nearly flinch at the name but force myself to remain perfectly unbothered. "Who?"
     An eye roll. "Stop fucking pretending. You don't want to talk about it and, to be honest, I didn't either but I think it's best we get everything out in the open." He bites his bottom lip, staring at me with a pure mask of innocence. "That night at the club...Choi found me and we had some drinks. I didn't do anything with him, though. I didn't sleep with him."
     "I know you didn't." I'm quick to respond but he shakes his head.
     "I don't think you do. I didn't mention him but I remember some things about that night. I vaguely remember you two talking or fighting around me. I'm not sure what happened but I think I deserve to know. You've changed since then, hyung. If...if we're truly going to be partners then we need to be honest with one another."
     I wince at the sharp pain his words induce. He's right. Absolutely correct. Also, I don't want to admit that maybe I'm more in the wrong than he is at the moment.
     "Hyung." He tries again when I'm silent for too long.
     Clearing my throat, I make up my mind to just tell him the fucking truth. I obviously couldn't contain it right and he knows somethings wrong. Worse still, he knows it for sure has something to do with Choi.
      "Choi...took a video of you."
      He blinks, slow to react. "Okay. So?"
      "In a very compromising position, Jungkook. Those kinds of videos being exposed could ruin your career and company."
     He finally seems to understand, his expression changing from confusion to anger. "And he wants me to sleep with him, right? To start shit?"
     I hesitate to answer, unsure how to go about it. "Not exactly."
     "Then...What? What does he want? I know he's blackmailing me—us—right?"
      "Right." I'm still reluctant to continue.
     He stares at me impatiently. "Namjoon!"
     My mouth opens. "He wants to sleep with me."
     "..."
     "He said if I don't agree to sleep with him by the end of this week...he'll send those videos out for everyone to see."
     The anger on his face changes to blank. Completely expressionless as he takes in my words, his fist clenching on the table the only indication he understands.
      "Ex..excuse me? Can you please say it again." A fire ignites in his eyes as he meets my own startled ones.
     "W-What?" I'm taken aback, stuttering a bit.
     "Repeat your words!"
     "Choi...wants me to...sleep with him." I make it slow and precise. "I have one more day to answer him before he ruins your life."
     Deafening silence.
     "Why?"
     "Huh?" His voice startles me.
     "Why you? Why does he want you so bad? Why did he go from me to you?" He sounds angry and upset and confused all at the same time.
      "I don't know. He's just playing a game with us and you know it. He's bored with nothing better to do."
     "So."
     "So what?"
     "Are you going to do it?!" His voice raises.
     "Are you asking if I plan on fucking Choi Seung hyun?" Just to clarify.
     Growling, he grabs my shirt collar across from the table and jerks me closer, smashing our lips together in a heated rage fueled kiss. It tastes of pain and jealousy.
     "Jungkook. Calm down."
     "Why won't you fucking answer me? You were going to do it, weren't you? You were seriously going to not tell me anything and go fuck him, right? All in the name of protecting me!"
      I don't answer. I can't. Too ashamed. He isn't completely off. I would do it if I had to. If I couldn't think of any other way. Still will.
     Sighing, I free myself of his hands. "So what?! It's just sex, Jungkook. You weren't a virgin before or after me. It's not a big deal."
     His eyes widen, pained. "Are you fucking messing with me right now? How is you cheating on me not a big deal? We weren't together then! You can't hold that against me."
     "The same fucking way I made it not matter when you were all over Choi in your drunken state! You never even thought to call me! You were stupid and if this is the only way to clean up your mess then I'll do it! I've always just been around to clean up your messes, Jeon! How is now any different?! Our relationship wasn't even real!"
     The words blurt out before I can stop them, loud and unapologetic as they cut him deep. He flinches, pushing away from me in shock.
     "Not real? I though...I thought you changed your mind about the fake arrangement? Didn't you agree to make it real? How could you say that now?!"
     I swallow hard. The only thing in my mind is to protect his career and his future. "I told you before, Jungkook. I agreed to marry you to help you get away from Choi. Everything I do is only to help you." I force myself to get the rest out before I lose it. "I never said it was real to me. I'm just good at pretending."
      He stares ahead in stunned silence. A single tear slides down his cheek before he can wipe it off, hiding it away from me. I see it, though. My own vision wavers.
     Clenching my hard I turn away from him. "I'll do what I have to with Seung hyun. You don't worry about it. Go home and...I'll return when its finished." 
     I leave him at the restaurant, stumbling into a passing Uber and collapsing into the seat, punching my thigh hard, angry at myself.
     God, that was a lie. A fucking lie!
     None of this was fake for me. But I have to do this. He'd rather risk his career and company than let me control this.
     I intentionally never planned to go to Choi but now...I really can't think of another solution. It really is simple and meaningless looking in the big picture.
      Jungkook just needs to let me do this. I can apologize for it all later. Get him to believe the truth instead of the lies but right now...I just don't have time.
     Right now...I have to meet with Choi.