✨~Kairos~✨

Chapter 37

SHAWNS POV

Sabrina: Shawn....I was pregnant.

My eyes go wide and my jaws drops, I feel my hand slipping out of hers but I make sure not to. Sabrina looks at me, a tear sliding down her cheek and her eyes turning dark blue, like they always do when she's sad or scared or has a negative feeling. I have no words for what I just heard, it's like tye her words where still floating in the air and haven't gone in my ears and to my brain. She was pregnant, WAS past tense. She had a fetus inside of her growing and she didn't know. Have of me was inside of her creating a human being, it's crazy to think of that. But unless the fetus isn't mine!?! I'm sure it is, wait, is it? SHAWN!! Wake up you crazy!?! Sabrina wouldn't cheat on you, you dumbass. I would have been a father for a moment, imagine me with a little kid of my own. But I know deep down, I'm not ready and nor is she. We are both young and our careers are only getting bigger, we dont even have the time to see each other often so we can have the time for a baby and becoming a family.

Shawn: honey Sabrina..

Sabrina: i-its just I was thinking about the small creature in me, and what would have happened if it didn't die. Would I still want it, or would I keep it.

I stay quiet, then she leans in and looks at me in the eyes.

Sabrina: Shawn, would you have wanted the baby.

I keep quiet, I know the answer to her question but I stay silent.

Sabrina goes back to resting on her bed.

Shawn: Sabrina, I would love to have children with you one day. But we both know that right now isn't the time. I would have been a father, and I play an important role in the baby's life. But YOU Sabrina play a bigger part, cause your his mom. YOU will have to carry the baby for 9 MONTHS. And that's not easy, you will fear him. YOU will have to go through soo much carrying this baby. And for that I have no say at the same time if I wanted the baby or not, because it's you who is going to go through all the pain.

Sabrina stares at me saying nothing yet.

The question goes back to you Sabrina, would you have wanted the baby or not??

Sabrina eyes are watering and she stares and her hands while she's twiddling her thumbs.

Sabrina: no.....

She whispers her answer,but it was clear enough for me to hear her.

Tears start steaming down her face.

Shawn: Sabrina, there's nothing to be ashamed of Sabrina. Do you think that you are ready for a nine month pregnancy and after that a baby?

Sabrina: no

Shawn: even though I'm not carrying the baby but when the baby is born I'm gonna be in his life and I want to be in my own child's life,  it I'm not ready yet to be father. It's a full time job of commitment - I'm not saying taking care of a baby is a job, it's about loving and caring for your child - when you are pregnant I want to be with you 24/7 making sure your ok and everything, and when my child is born I want to be with you in the hospital carrying him in my arms and driving back to hopefully our own home and not having to worry about me leaving soon. I want to take a break from all the traveling when you are pregnant and giving birth. And I can't do that right now and neither can you.

I look at Sabrinas and put my hand on her cheek making her look towards me.
I start Caressing her cheek and her glossy eyes start to disappear.

I slowly lean in and kiss her soo softly as gently, savoring every sweet second.

After what seems to be days I we pull apart and look at Sabrina, a smile forming on those lips I just kissed.

Sabrina: Shawn..

Shawn: yes Sabrina?

Sabrina: you know I love you?

Shawn: I know, and I love you more.

She pulls me in which I take it by surprise and crashes her lips into mine again.

And ohhh my I missed those lips even though I just kissed them seconds ago.