They saw each other first on the train. And then in the same cafe, and then in the same meeting room. He disliked her loud music, she disliked his attitude. Their opinions will have to change when she's hired to work with him.
Rules will be broken...
Faith Elizabeth "How are you feeling about the move?" Mum asked and I shrugged. "I dunno" "Talk to me. What's on your mind?" She asked and I shrugged again. "Is it Shawn?" She said and on hearing his name I wanted to break down. I nodded my head as I started to cry. "I thought you'd been speaking a little?" She asked, taking me into her arms. "We have. And that's what makes it harder" I cried. "Why?" "Because I'll miss him. And, and I think I'm just going to say that he doesn't have to be with me anymore because I don't want to hold him back" I said and she sighed. "Honey I wish I could just make this all go away for you. But I can't. You have to make these decisions"
A knock on my hospital room door made me jump, and I sighed as I saw the doctor there. "How are we doing?" "How do you think?" I scoffed. "I'm here to tell you that we've arranged a spot for you in a rehab in London called the Promises Clinic. You start in three days" he explained. "Wait, so I'm going home now?" I asked and he shook his head. "You're going straight from here into the clinic. Not home." He said and I sighed. "How long do I have to stay there for?" I asked, hoping it wasn't ages. "So far we've got you down for two months. But you can stay there up to six months if they think you're not getting better" he said and I rolled my eyes. "Two months seems short" Mum said and I glared. "She doesn't self harm and it's only been one attempt" he sighed and I nodded. "As I said, you can stay longer if you feel that you need it" "Uhhuh" I said rolling my eyes again. "But I've got all the paperwork here. So Ms. Elizabeth I need you to come with me" he said to my mum and she nodded before walking out.
I got up out of bed and sat by the window, looking outside over the city. I tried to gather my thoughts, but that proved to be harder than I thought. I thought about how I was going to be trapped for two months in some clinic. I tried not to think about what I did. It didn't work, so I thought it best to just move forward and not think about it. Yet. And I thought mostly about Shawn. He never left my mind. I thought about how I was going to tell him that I thought it was best we weren't together anymore. I thought about him. The feeling of him, his hair, his face, his hands, everything. But the more I thought about all his perfect little features, the more upset I got at the thought that this would be the end of us. From meeting each other on the train, to the happy couple everyone wanted to know, to now. I couldn't wrap my head around all the stages of me and Shawn. It was hard. I just thought that we'd last, and have this perfect little relationship. But as I've always said. I got in way over my head. It was never meant to be. There was always the nagging in the back of my head about it. I knew there were articles written about me. About what I did and what happened and how Shawn played into that. I didn't read them. I didn't want to see the twists they added in about what happened.
"Darling I just want to let you know that our plane leaves tomorrow afternoon ok?" Mum said and I nodded before she walked back out again. "Can I Come in?" I heard from the doorway. "You would even if I said no" I said pushing a small smile. "Well no. It's whatever you want" Karen said and I smiled. "How are we doing?" "I'm leaving. Tomorrow. I'm going to somewhere called Promises Clinic in London for two months" I explained and she nodded. "How are you feeling about it?" "Honestly?" I asked and she nodded, "I'm glad to be leaving Toronto, but I-I'm going to miss you. And Shawn" I said and she sighed. "He's already set on coming to see you every week" she smiled but I shook my head. "I-I have to end it with him" I said and my eyes filled with tears, making my vision blurry. "Oh sweetheart" she said and held me as I remained on the window ledge. "I have to. I can't hold him back anymore" I cried. "He's actually on his way here now, you have to talk to him" she said and I nodded. "Don't end it if it'll make your mindset worse" "I'm just thinking of him" "And he's thinking of you" "I can't do that to him. He'll feel obliged to see me and stop the tour and I don't want that for him" I sighed. "You're so kind hearted. So kind hearted." Karen said and stroked my hair.
A knock made us both turn. "Bad timing?" Shawn said, looking red and out of breath. Karen rubbed my back. "I'll see you before you leave ok?" She whispered and I nodded. She walked out, leaving me and Shawn alone.
"Is everything ok?" He asked and I shook my head while looking down at the floor. "I'm leaving Shawn. My flight leaves tomorrow afternoon. They're moving me back to London. A place called The Promises Clinic" I said through the tears. "How long?" "Two months" I said and looked up to see him already looking at me. "I'll come and see you every week" "No" I cried and he looked confused as my tears fell heavily. "What?" "Shawn we have to end this" I said and he shook his head sitting next to me. "Why? I've already said that you're my number one priority at the moment" he said, looking confused and panicked. "You'll feel obliged to stop your tour and come and see me. But you can't. You can't drop everything just to see me Shawn. You have to just...live" I said and he took my hand in his. "I am living. I don't want to just leave you on your own" "I'm not saying don't ever come and see me, but I can't be your girlfriend anymore. I can't hold you back" I said trying to force a smile. "You're not!" "I am. All the articles, making you fly here there and everywhere, you need to just focus on you and the tour" I nodded. "I fly all these places because I want you. I want to do that for you" he said but I still shook my head. "It wouldn't work. I'm not allowed any contact in the clinic unless I get visitors" I explained and he nodded. "I'm sorry Shawn. For all of this" "Don't you dare be sorry. It's me that's sorry. So sorry I can't explain to you how sorry I am. And I promise you that I'll come and visit when I have breaks ok?" He said and a single tear fell from his eye. I quickly wiped it away. "I'll miss you. More than anything" I said and smiled through the heavy flow of tears. "Then don't end it" "Please Shawn. I have to. But I have to tell you something before I go." I said but he shook his head. "Tell me tomorrow" he smiled. "I'll come to the airport with you" "Ok" I whispered as he opened his arms.
I let him hold me. I rested my head against his chest and enjoyed the feeling of his hands running up and down my back. "I'll never forget you, you know that?" He said and I couldn't help but scoff. "Because I'm in your video?" "No. Because you're a beautiful person. And though I made mistakes, I love you." He said and I scoffed again. "Bullshit" "It's true. And I think you're beautiful" "You're a charmer" "It's natural" he said and we both laughed lightly. "Promise me something" "Anything" "When I get out of hell, as in the day I'm released. Can you come and see me?" I asked. "Of course I can. And I will come and visit you while you're in there" "Ok" "Ok"
I knew that I wouldn't stop thinking about him. Ever. And I knew that I wouldn't stop loving him.
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