One Shots ❦ Camren + Others

#18: Unloving You

Unloving you,
Is the hardest thing to do,
Wish I could find a way to be unlove with you,
Unloving you,
You're all I wanna lose,
But every night I'm closer to the bitter truth,
I just can't unlove you,
Maybe I can't unlove you...

***

I will always miss you and I will never regret loving you. You took some pieces of my whole being with you when you left, and I always feel as though something is missing - a part of me.

I want to run after you. To chase after you. I want to beg you to come back...and I would love to think that maybe, just maybe you'll want me like the first time.

Camila wiped at her eyes, but it was to no avail. The tears seemed as though they were never going to cease.

She had hoped that maybe, the tears would flow into the crevasses and holes in her heart, but that was going to be physically impossible. She had just wished that there was some way to mend her broken heart.

To take away the pain, but everything was just still so fresh.

"Hey..." Stephanie; Camila's best friend took a seat next to her. "Are you okay?" She asked softly. She saw the vivid pain in her friend's eyes but she didn't know what else to ask.

What do you say to someone who had their heart ripped from their chest?

How do you comfort someone that only wishes to be comforted by one person?

How do you heal a broken heart?

Camila wiped at her eyes again, sniffling softly. "I...I don't know, Steph. I just feel so fucking broken, so fucking empty. How could she do this to me?" She looked into her best friend's eyes, searching for an answer, but the answer wasn't for Stephanie to give.

"She didn't deserve you," the girl said. "I know that's not what you want to hear because you love her, and you'll probably love her for a long time, but don't ever think that you weren't enough for her."

Camila shook her head 'no'. She felt the tears coming, but she tried to will herself not to cry. She had always hated crying and Stephanie knew this. "If I was enough, then why did she go? Why didn't she love me the way she said she did? If I was enough, why did she break my heart the way she did?"

Stephanie looked at her friend sadly, she didn't know what exactly to say to make the hurt go away. Instead she threw an arm around Camila and pulled her closer to her chest. "We're going to get through this. I promise you, we'll get through this."

Camila didn't say anything for a while, she just held onto her friend and cried her silent tears, it made the pain worse, but what else was there to do?

"She didn't mean to hurt me," Camila spoke up softly. The two were sitting in Camila's backyard. Once Stephanie had found out what had happened, she came over because she knew just how much of a mess her best friend would've been. She knew just how much Camila loved her. "Maybe that's the worst part," she pulled away. "She was just talking about her feelings, and her feelings didn't involve me."

Sometimes people just exist for you to have a good time with, and then move on from. And once you can accept that, it makes everything ten times easier. Because a lot of heartbreaks and sadness stems from expectations, and maybe just maybe there should be absolutely no expectations.

The reason why we get hurt so often is that when we have a good time with someone, we expect something more from them. We sit and we wait for another opportunity with them. And then, when we find out that they don't exactly want what we do, we're crushed.