One Shots ❦ Camren + Others

#21: What Happened To Us

(A/N) So inspo struck, a ha ha. Enjoy my pain 🥴🙂

***

I don't wanna talk about it,
Still a little too fresh...

***

The funny thing is, I was finally happy.

I was finally starting to feel like myself again, I was finally realising that love wasn't supposed to hurt. That love wasn't supposed to make me cry, that it wasn't supposed to make me question everything.

I finally loved someone who actually loved me back.

I have nothing left in this heart. No unspoken words, no unfelt emotions, no complaints, no worries, no fears.

Just a hollowness.

And it's weird to think that I don't feel anything, when at more than one points in my life, I've felt way more than I should've. I've cried and yearned for the pain to end, and now?

Now I feel nothing.

But I just can't talk about it, because what if I start feeling things again?

What if I start to lose myself again, when I only just found myself?

It was just days ago when I had you.

What happened to us?

I miss you.

But...I don't want to.

I love you.

But...I don't want to.

I don't want to feel these feelings, so maybe if I just ignore it, it'll go away right?

...Right?

I'm trying to come to terms with the fact that one day, I'll see you walking down the street with someone else's hand in yours. The same hand that I held. The same hand that I always wanted to hold.

I'll see you happy, and smiling, with the glow of love on your face that I wish I could've given you.

And I need to accept that, one day you will be in love with another. Someone kind, someone caring, someone who loves you because even if we weren't meant for each other, I would only wish the best for you.

Someone with a tender heart.

Someone deserving of you.

I'm trying to accept that this is how life is meant to be. That everything I always wished for us, will still happen to you just...not with me.

It's weird, isn't it?

That how we can go from spending nights with each other, laying in bed talking about anything and everything. Having countless dreams with one another, hope for things and imagining a whole world with someone only for them to live that future out with someone else.

I think that's the hardest thing for anyone to ever learn.

When you look at the person who you loved...love and you can see just how happy they are with someone so gentle, so sweet. And then you look at yourself and wonder, "Do I deserve love too?"

I mean, do I?

***

I really want to think that our ending wasn't an 'end' but rather just the beginning for us both. A beginning that will lead us in the right direction, even if it means that you're going to slip further away from me for now.