One Shots ❦ Camren + Others

#30: Touch It

How are you all around me when you're not really there?
When you're not really there?
How do I feel you on me when you're not on my skin?

***

"Because if I could, I would move mountains to make sure that you don't have to climb them, just to save you the pain. Believe me. I would."

- Ruby Dhal

"Maggie," Ariana giggled and crinkled her nose. "Stop, I'm tired." She felt the lips of her fiancée peppering chaste kisses all over her face. It was only six in the morning, Ariana had a long night and thought she would've spent the morning sleeping in.

She opened her eyes and rolled over, in search of her fiancée but she couldn't find her anywhere.

"Maggie?"

Ariana's eyes scanned their shared bedroom for her.

"Maggie?"

She pleaded for her fiancée to come out of hiding.

But that's when she realised that Maggie wasn't there anymore.

Her eyes landed on her fiancée's pair of boots that she had taken off and left messily on the floor. Then her eyes found Maggie's old and very worn denim jacket hanging on the back of the door to their bedroom.

And once more, Ariana found the tears forming in her eyes, and that inevitable ache in her chest that came with the memory of her.

"Maggie..."

She choked out a sob, as the tears began flowing freely. She reached out and grabbed Maggie's pillow that she would hug every night, it brought her some sense of comfort. It wasn't the same as hugging her but it was close enough.

It still smelled like her. Or so Ariana tried to convince herself.

She held it tightly to her chest, as her body became wracked with sobs.

How?

Just how on earth was she ever going to get over this heart break?

What did she do to deserve this?

Eventually, the tears slowed, and she had to practically force herself out of bed. Doing the basics; such as eating, brushing her teeth, showering...breathing had become unbearable for her.

***

The most valuable thing I've ever had the chance of learning is to never leave anything unsaid. Even if that relationship doesn't work out, and even if it does, don't keep feelings buried. Say what you want to say. People aren't mind readers. Let them know that for at least right now, they mean the world to you and that you would do anything for them.

Your boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, whoever it may be, might become a stranger to you in a year but it's still worth it to tell them that they make you into a better person and that they're an amazing friend.

They might not care to hear it or even understand why you're telling them this but tell them that they mean the world to you.

That you're thankful for them.

That they're the reason why you get out of bed.

Just say it.

The future is uncertain, so love them today.

***

Ariana stepped out of the bathroom, drying her hair. She decided against eating because these days, she never felt hungry. Her eyes fell on her phone that was placed on her dresser, sighing heavily, she grabbed it along with the charger. She knew by now it would've died. It's been a little over a week since she checked it.