One Shots ❦ Camren + Others

#22: It's Gotta Be You

I wish I could turn back the time,
The power is yours and never mine,
Maybe with time you'll see that,
I can give you all the things you missed...

***

Lauren's POV

To the one that I love;

Have you ever wanted to start over with someone?

I'm talking about remeeting someone, and getting to know them all over again. Because just like you have changed, so did they.

Maybe, since you're both so different now, things might actually work out.

Every time thoughts like these cross my mind, I think about the nights that I had cried so hard that my body ached and I had to bury my head under my pillows so that no one would hear my sobs.

I think about the nights when I couldn't sleep because I was just so heartbroken.

But then, there were nights where I was happy that you were happy, and I felt as though everything had happened for a reason.

And then, there were the nights when I feel absolutely nothing at all. But do you want to know the worse part?

There was never a night that you didn't cross my mind. Even if you never thought about me, I would wonder if you were truly happy with her, and would wonder what she had that I didn't.

Pathetic, really.

But, I want to know you again.

I want us to sit and talk for hours and let's see if there's something still between us.

Tell me about every person you had ever been in love with. Did they make you happy? Tell me what it was that drew you towards them. What it was about them that you loved? Tell me how they broke your heart that Monday during the winter.

Tell me.

Tell me why they loved you. Was it because of your sense of humour and the fact that you found anything funny? Or was it because of your taste in music, even though I didn't really like it. Was it because you could just sit in silence on the phone and the sound of your breathing was music to their ears?

Tell me.

Tell me about a day in your life that you didn't think you'd live through. Are you okay now? Does it still hurt every time you think back upon it?

Tell me what does 'home' mean to you. Is it when you step through your front door and you're greeted to your dad sitting in front of the television but he's paying no mind to it, because he's fixated on your nephew who's showing off his new toy? Is it when you walk into your kitchen, and you're greeted to your mom stirring a pot, and the scent of your favourite food protrudes your nostrils? Or is it being in your parents loving embrace after a hard day's work?

Tell me it in a way that just by the way you describe your bedroom when you were six years old that I'll know your mother's name.

See, I want to know the first time you felt the weight of hate across your chest and how you trembled to your core, not understanding this newfound emotion.