My Girl

39

*Callie*

She left, again. Arizona left without a word and I broke down into tears.

Mark wraps both of his arms tightly around me and I just cry. I cry until my eyes sting.

"I have to be at the school soon, do you think you'll be ok?"

"Yea I'll be fine." I lied. I knew I wasn't going to be ok but I also knew that Mark had to get the kids.

How was I going to tell them? They are almost 10 and old enough to understand that parents fight but they might get the wrong idea when they realize that Arizona isn't at home.

There was no real escape to this here. If I went back into the exercise room then I would be reminded of the incident but everywhere else I went there were pictures of Arizona and I.

I decided to text her, not expecting to get a reply back.

Me: I know you don't want to talk to me but please tell me that you are somewhere safe.

I hit send and immediately regretted it. I didn't want to bother her more than I already did. Then my phone buzzed. It was a text back from Arizona.

Arizona: I'm safe, are you ok?

Reading that made me feel 10 times worse. Arizona cared about me after everything that just happened.

Me: Of course I am, are you?

Arizona: I'll be fine.

Me: I love you

Arizona: I know you do.

That hurt, a lot. I knew that she loved me too but it just hurt me that she couldn't say it back. I had no right to be hurt though because I hurt her. I hurt our family and things might never be the same.

I threw my phone to the other side of the room and fell onto the bed. I hate Abigail, yes it's a strong word but I really do hate her. I hate her for taking advantage of me and making me
vulnerable. I hate her for making me shut down everyone who truly cared about me and I hate her in general for coming here.

20 minutes later

"Mama!" Ava and Sofia call out running towards me.

"How was school today?"

They both sat down and took out their lunch boxes, Arizona normally gets them, cleans them if needed, and preps them for tomorrow. Arizona wasn't here to do it this time.

"Mama we are doing a family tree project and I need to know more about where Mommy came from, where is she?" Ava asks.

"She got called to work but I'll call her and see when she's getting home." I lie. I hated lying to my babies but after everything that's happened I couldn't stand to let them know that their Mommy left, again.

"Our teacher said Ava and I could do it together." Sofia explains.

Ava loves going to school, Sofia tolerates it. Sofia loves playing sports. She gravitated towards soccer more but she loves basketball and football. Mark was her biggest fan.

I moved to the other room to call Arizona. Texting her would take too long.

"Hello?" She picked up after the second ring.