New Jersey Fantasy

Butterflies

-Mari-

Liam decided that today was the day I meet his mom. We survived our first week of senior year and now I have to survive dinner at his house. Lucy thinks it can't be that bad. Dinner's at 5:30. Dress casual. So can I swear sweatpants? That'll never happen. I'm not that bad of a girlfriend. That word still doesn't stick with me. I was never the girlfriend label. Label? Type? However you want to put it. It was 2:30. 3 hours. I'm dreading this. I'm worried I'll mess everything up. I don't know how I'll mess it up. Yet I know I will somehow I will. Paranoia? I sip my coffee. Bad idea for a time like this. I look in the mirror in Kat's room. My hair was dripping wet and I had sweatpants and a tank top on. She was watching Gossip Girl with Lucy on her bed while I sat on the floor picking out all my flaws in front of her mirror. Kat's waiting for my hair to dry off so she can be her girly self and make me a doll for her amusement. How are we even twins? I laugh to myself. I stare at myself in the mirror a while longer. I have a fat stomach. My thighs are big enough to feed a starving family. My boobs are small. My eyes are big and green. I hate my reflection. They say you walk past a murderer 57 times in your life without realizing it. Yet I walk past this mirror daily. Picking out every flaw I have. Killing myself more and more inside. "Alright Mar let's get started." Kat says while plugging in the blow dryer. She dries my hair and curls the tips. It's about 3:30 now. We watch more Gossip Girl until about 4:15. Then she picks out my clothes. She never trusts my pick. Gray cardigan, red tank top, and of course black leggings. She then hands me her gray boots. Oh Yay. I slip the clothes on looking in the bathroom mirror. I just sigh and walk out before breaking down. "You look adorable." "Absolutely beautiful." Kat and Lucy are sounding like Mom's on prom night. I smile and they laugh. They fill my purse with necessities and we finish watching TV when Liam rings the doorbell. I basically run down the stairs and hesitantly open the door. Liam stand in front of the door in a red shirt and dark washed jeans. My knees go weak. How can such perfection be with me? I close the door behind me then we head to his house. My heart thumps. I can feel my knees go weak. The closer we got the worst I felt. Then he stopped and so did my heart. I tumbled out the passenger seat as he led me to the door and we walked in. He entwined our fingers and led me to the kitchen. There she stood, the person who I really had to impress. She stood at the stove. She looked about 5'5 as I was 5'8. She had blonde wavy hair and a few gray streaks. She was probably about 45. All I knew was her name was Sara Titan. Liam's mom. Her pride and joy was my boyfriend. She turned away from the stove. Looking up at me and I mean really looking up at me. She smiled at me and I returned the smile. "Hi I'm Sara, you must be Mari." She shakes my hand awkwardly and Liam squeezes my other hand. "Have a seat." I sat down quickly and Liam took the seat next to me. He still hasn't let go of my hand. Sara sets the food down then takes her seat. My heart thumps more and more. I can barely breath. Liam helps me set my plate then sets his. We eat slowly along with Ms Titan. "Wow Mari, You're even more beautiful than Liam described." My heart is racing almost about to jump out. "Thank you." I reply weakly but she doesn't notice and smiles. We continue eating. My phone vibrates. It was Kat. I ignore it for now. Liam noticed and tells me that after dinner we'll go back to mine. I squeeze his hand in reassurance. Sara makes small talk about school and college. I want to go to Buffalo New York for college. Get away. Not that I hate being close to my mom. I just feel she needs time to her self. Which is probably true. Kat plans on going back to California. Lucy is applied to NYU. So we're all separating. Then Liam speaks up. "I applied to Buffalo in New York." Sara claps and I swallow my food hard. "Me too." I mumble. Liam's smile widens when I choke that out. Sara giggles. "Aw you guys are cute!" She sweetly remarks. Liam tells his mom that we have somewhere to go and she runs upstairs after put the dishes in the sink. Liam and I walk out heading back to mine. I read Kat's text 'If i'm not there when you get back I'm just with Carter. Love you.' Ya okay mom. We pull into my driveway. Walking inside I search for Lucy. I look in our room

finding a note on the desk. It was written in blood. 'Goodbye. -Lucy'

I dropped the letter and ran out the room in tears. I ran into Kat's room to see if she was there. No sign. I crept into the bathrooms. Not there. Basement was the last resort. I creep down the stairs quiet enough so that if she is down there she won't hear me. I hear crying from a distance and start running. Lucy sat there in the middle of the dark basement surrounded by pills. Her wrist were bleeding and she was crying her eyes out screaming she was sorry. I ran and held her close to me and she put her head on my shoulder. After a while Liam came down and didn't say a word just took the pills and left. I sat with Lucy for hours, singing our favorite songs to here and holding her while she tried to breath properly. That's when I realized. You really don't know what you have until it's gone. Like Lucy and her mom. Just why would she do this?