New Jersey Fantasy

simply perfection

-Mari-
He got to know me like the back of his hand, I didn't know if I should be scared or content. Last person that did that left. They found me to complicated to deal with. That's kind of the second reason we moved her. Besides mom's promotion. Staying in California would've been a death threat for me. 10 years was enough. Jersey is still the same, with a few differences here and there. About 2 years after dad died, a year after we moved to California, I had urges. I was supposed to be that annoying eight year that only cared about dolls and the most recent children movie. Not about being alone. Being the new girl I had no friends really. Besides Lucy. We got into fights sometimes though and that's when I got bad. Kat had so many friends from the beginning. I felt alone with just Lucy. Especially when she would come and go. Then in middle school, I made a few friends right away cause they were like me. Shy and intimidated easily. Seventh grade they left and some more came. Eighth grade came and i lost those and then I didn't make any until about halfway through. I met my first guy friend, we soon started to like each other and we dated. We lasted until junior year of high school. Then he started cheating on me. It broke me apart. I thought I was better, then my heart shattered. I started to self harm and I tried to overdose. I ended up in the hospital and then therapy. I was soon known as the sociopath. They thought I would be the one to shoot up the school and then then shoot myself. I was soon covered in scars and losing weight drastically. I weighed up 120 pounds and then I went down to 85 within 2 months. My hair thinned and my periods stopped. I almost died. I looked like death. My skin was grey and my eyes were dark. I looked nothing like I should've. My mom worried about me and Kat basically disowned me. I knew what I was doing was wrong and deadly yet I kept doing it. I missed a lot of school and spent months in the hospital in and out. Then 2 days before we moved when I found, a flash of hope came through. Kat started to talk to me again. Our dreams were coming true I remember her saying. She was right. When we arrived in New Jersey, I realized maybe it wouldn't be that bad. Lucy got me to eat normally, little by little. When Liam and I first met I weighed into 90 pounds. Then when we started dating I weighed into 95 pounds. The hope remained. Kat noticed and Lucy did to. They would sometimes look me in the eye and smile. "I love the color of your eyes." Which was there way of saying they could notice the difference in me. Liam and I have been together for almost three months now. I weigh about 110 now. My hair has grown, and my eyes are their normal green. It just scares me. Liam knows me to well. Maybe it's a good thing. He's supposed to come over later. I was still in bed though. I had one of his tshirts on and no pants. My hair was in a messy bun and my eyes had bags under them. I heard footsteps emerge up the stairs and then the door opened. "Hello Marilyn." Liam said smiling, he still looked at me with a sparkle in his eyes. I looked like shit but he didn't care. "Do you want to get out of bed?" I shook my head at his question. He nodded and walked towards my bed, he lifted the blanket and crawled next to me. "Is that better?" He asked as he wrapped his arm around my waist. I buried my face into his chest and snuggled closer to him. He switched the TV in my room on and we watched Bridesmaids. We laughed at some parts and stayed completely still. I was comfortable with him, our relationship has become more simple. Instead of going on big dates every time we hangout like in the beginning we instead have a lot of lazy days. Like today, where we just lay around watch romantic comedies. Then once a month we both decide to wear something nice and drive to one of our favorite places. I loved how simple we were. I didn't have to try and look my best for him to love me. Sure I didn't always look like a scumbag like right now but I didn't dress to impress. Today was just one of those days where pants were not an exception and food was a must. Shortly towards the end of the movie I could hear Liam snoring but he still had his arm on me. I flipped through channels and watched Spongebob. Then slowly fell asleep with him.