-Jayden's POV-
I hear a door closing downstairs at around 9pm, so I shut off my phone and take a deep breath.
I know in a minute or two my mom will crack open my door and stick her head through to see if I'm awake. I always am.
The doorknob turns and my anxiety hits me like a truck.
It was easy doing it behind the screen. I had friends to comfort me and there were people who understand. This will be my first time really putting myself out there and telling someone, the person I care about the most.
I know my mom isn't homophobic, but it's probably different when it's your own daughter. You make all these plans for your kid and it's hard to see them take a different path. I know it'll be weird at first but hopefully she'll accept me.
"You still awake?" She whispers.
"Yeah." I mumble. She sits down on the edge of my bed.
"Are you okay sweetheart?"
"Can we talk? Not for long, but I just need to discuss something with you." I sit up.
"Of course. You're not pregnant are you?" She jokes. I like that she's always lighthearted and she's not afraid to joke around with me. Hopefully that doesn't change.
"You love me, right?"
"I love you more than anything else in this world." She nods.
"And you'll support all of my decisions?"
"As long as you don't decide to be like an axe murderer or something." She chuckles.
"You promise?"
"Of course I do."
"...I'm bisexual." I feel a tear move down my cheek. I'm not ashamed, but it's hard saying this to the only person who has my 100% trust. I'm not sure how she'll react, and uncertainty is one of the things I've always found the most terrifying.
She doesn't say anything. She processes it for a moment before pulling me into a hug.
"I love you. If this is your decision then I will support it and you. Just make sure you don't waste your love on someone who doesn't deserve it. Don't make my mistakes."
I continue to cry, but now it's of joy and relief, I'm pretty sure.
"Thank you. I'm sorry I doubted you." I say, the words coming out muffled by her shoulder.
"It's okay. You're allowed to feel whatever you want. I'm sure this is difficult for you."
"I mean I feel better now that I know you still love me." I say as I pull away and wipe my face with my sleeve.
"Hey, even if you do become an axe murderer, I'll still love you. The only reason that parents should have a problem with things like this is because I know that I won't always be able to protect you. There are people out there who won't accept you, but I know that you're confident enough to face it. Just be careful." She kisses the top of my head.
"Thanks. I love you."
"I love you too." She stands up.
"Goodnight."
"Night." I reply. I truly couldn't ask for a better mother. It sucks that my dad didn't care enough to see how I'll turn out, but if he stayed in my life it probably still wouldn't have been any better than it is now. What I have now is pretty great.
Me- I told my mom
Anns💛- how did it go? Do my parents need to adopt you?
Me- no lol. It was amazing
Anns💛- I'm proud of you. I knew you could do it
Me- she did mention my dad which definitely isn't my favorite thing to talk about
Anns💛- what did she say
Me- she just gave me advice on love in general. Not to trust and give your love to the wrong people
Anns💛- I know your dad sucks but he was right for one reason. If he wasn't there in the first place then you wouldn't be here. You wouldn't be able to help your mom or your friends when they need you, which is a big deal. You're worth more than you know
Me- brooo I don't wanna cry anymore🥺
Anns💛- well I'm just stating the facts. All I have to do is look at your face and I feel safe. You're lowkey turning my life around in a direction I never thought it would be going again. You saved me.
Me- Thank you. Not just for saying that, but for being the same way. The short time I've known you has been the greatest time of my life. When you get down on yourself I feel bad because you're really special.
Damn I kinda just went off, but it's true. She's special, and not like in a rude way lol. Is this what my mom was talking about? I'm walking right into this after only like two weeks and expressing my feelings. I trust Annie, but my own father left me, so I don't give anyone my 100% trust except for my mom. Annie said before that she wouldn't change for anyone other than herself, but it is kind of what she's doing. I guess that means she trusts me, or at least she's getting there, and for once I feel like I'm truly getting there myself.
A/N
VOTE teehee🥰
August 2nd-3rd, 2019
YOU ARE READING
sirens•jaynnie
Fanfiction"i like you, jayden. you're smart and funny and cool and pretty and all that shit. is that what you wanna hear?" "i only wanna hear it if you mean it." "i do." completed!❤️ i've mentioned some youtubers in this book that i do in fact no longer suppo...
