"i like you, jayden. you're smart and funny and cool and pretty and all that shit. is that what you wanna hear?"
"i only wanna hear it if you mean it."
"i do."
completed!❤️
i've mentioned some youtubers in this book that i do in fact no longer suppo...
-Annie's POV- This situation is tough, obviously. I calm myself down with a couple of breaths.
-Flashback🤪🤪- I was sitting in the cafeteria just looking through my backpack when I realized that I had forgotten my pencil case at home. I got up and found my brother on the middle school side and told him.
"What's up, Annie?" He turned away from his friends.
"Caleb, I don't know what to do. I forgot my pencils." My voice was urgent, because I was incredibly stressed about this for some dumb reason.
"Annie, it's fine. Come on, follow me." He stood up from his seat on the bench and I followed him up to a teacher.
"My sister forgot her pencils and I need to go get her a couple from my locker." He sighed.
"Go ahead." She smiled at us as he took my hand and led me to the 8th grade hallway.
"What if I'm late for class?" I was near tears at this point, because I was a dramatic little fifth grader.
He turned around after opening his locker.
"Hey, relax okay? You're fine. It's a pencil. It's gonna take like 10 seconds for me to get it out and give it to you, then like another ten to get back to the cafeteria. Plus I'm sure your teacher would understand if you do happen to be literally five seconds late."
"Okay."
"Take a deep breath."
"Okay."
"Shhh, don't even talk. Just breath for a second until you feel better."
I took about five breaths until I felt less anxious and we walked back to the cafeteria.
-End of poorly written flashback🤪🤪-
Every time I get anxious, I try to remember what my brother told me that day.
Caleb always told me to be myself, and not to change for anyone else because my personality is already enough for the people who were worth it.
Yet that's what I'm doing.
I'm supposed to honor and remember everything he taught me, but here I am. It's been a week and I'm already changing. Katie is the one who's always been there for me, and I'm not even changing for her. I'm changing for some girl who I have a dumb crush on.
This isn't me. I'm not like this. I'm not allowed to change myself. I'm letting Caleb down.
"I still have to change my shirt." Jayden says, shirt in hand.
"I'm coming with you. We need to talk." I get up and we walk out of the cafeteria.
"What's up?" She asks as she swings open the heavy bathroom door.
I bend down and check underneath the stalls and make sure no one else is there, because as much as I don't care, someone else will probably feel pretty awkward if there are other people in the bathroom just having a full conversation.
"Well like you said, you still need to change, and like I said, we need to talk."
She steps into the handicap stall and gestures for me to follow.
"Uh, no thanks? That's a little weird."
"Come on, you're my friend. You don't have to watch me change, just come in."
"Fine."
She begins to lift up her shirt a little bit and I quickly look down at the floor.
"What did you have to say?" She questions.
"....Am I your friend?"
"Of course. Why, am I not yours?"
"Well, yeah, you are." I pause.
"...I don't think we should hang out anymore."
"Huh? Why not?"
"Like the second day I talked to you, I told you that I would effect your life. We're from two different worlds, and I know you don't want to be part of mine,"
"Well you've been joining mine! You're getting along with everyone, right?" I can feel her smiling at me.
"Yeah, they're great. It's just..."
"I can't be who I am and be in your world."
"....Is this about your brother?" She asks timidly.
"I'm finished changing, by the way." She finishes. I look up.
"Yes." I sigh.
"He would be disappointed in me if he knew I was changing myself overnight."
"Remember when you told me that you feel alone and that you don't think you're worth anything?" I feel Jayden's eyes burning into me. I nod.
"Do you think that is what Caleb wants?"
"Well no, that's one of the reasons I've never actually been able to go through with...it-"
"I never met him, and I don't really know much about him, but what I do know is that he wouldn't want you to be sad. He would want you to move on and be happy and celebrate his life, not mourn his passing."
"I guess.."
"He would want you to put yourself out there and make new friends, and he wouldn't want you to push away the ones that are already there."
We both stay quiet.
"Why are you trying so hard to keep this friendship? I mean, why do you care about me?" I plead.
She steps closer to me and looks me in the eyes before quickly connecting her lips to mine.
Okay, what the FUCK?
A/N Shit went down🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 I forgot what I was gonna say so here's a cute pic
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
