Half Hidden // Seungin

O N E

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Yang Jeongin:

I looked through my wardrobe on what to wear for school, and absolutely nothing was appealing to me.

I sighed.

Picking out the first thing I saw, I took a good look at it, deciding if I should put it on or not. When I did, I looked at myself in the mirror and I hated what I saw.

That's my everyday routine.

My life is hard. My birth dad died when I was four. Then when I was in 4th grade, my mom started dating this terrible man. That was also around the time my thoughts started coming together.

My mom is so in love with him that she can't see how bad he is, but me and his own son Felix hate him.

From the moment he met me, it was like that man was in control of the way I lived my life.

From 4th grade on, I knew I wasn't like normal boys. I didn't want to wear red sweatshirts, and play football at recess. I wanted to dress more like the girls in the class, and I would rather draw flowers then play ball.

Not to mention I had a crush on a boy named Daniel who was in my class. Sadly, he moved to Canada the next year.

But because of this dickhead my mom loves so much, I was never able to embrace who I really am on the inside.

His son Felix is a huge trouble maker, so he's basically given up on making Felix the son he wants to have. But, me being the innocent boy I am, I let him push me around.

He wants a typical, totally masculine son, who follows all the guy stereotypes. Which is basically the opposite of what I want to be.

I have to wear all masculine clothes, I can't dye my hair, I have to wear clear braces, I date loads of girls, and I'm on the high schools football team. I may not be a starting player, but I do play and I'm on the team. And I have to pretend like I'm okay with all that. When I'm really not.

Not to mention he's a huge homophobe.

The only person who knows how I really feel is Felix. He is my best friend.

Of course we have more friends, but I feel like I can trust Felix with my life!

Anyway, mom dated this guy for 4 years before they got married. They didn't get married till my freshmen year of high school, and Felix became my stepbrother. I'm now a sophomore along with Felix.

They've been together for a total of six years now. From when I was in 4th grade, all the way till now, 10th grade. And it's been the worst years of my life.

So, for the past six years I've been hiding my true self. I don't want to break my moms heart, so I pretend like I do like all these things my now stepdad makes me do. Even with that, mom knows Felix and I aren't very fond of him, and he knows that too. That's probably why he picks on us so much.

Somehow, my mom doesn't see it, so she doesn't know why we don't like him. I just hope she eventually realizes.

I continue to stare at myself in the mirror for minutes until I finally excepted what I had on was going to be what I wore the rest of the day. I have on a blue plain teeshirt with a jean-jacket, and I head jeans-leggings on. Oh yeah, and did I mention I can't wear any unisex clothes or shoes? If a girl can wear it, then it's a big nono for me. So, no adidas and no vans.

I heard a knock on my door and it opened up slowly. It was Felix. Him and my stepfather have lived with us since the wedding.

He opened the door with a smile. Felix doesn't have to hide who he is, one because dad doesn't  really care about him anymore (which is sad), and two because he is just like any other boy. He actually likes sports, and girls.

Felix has on a white shirt with a red collar, it has a black faded pomtree with sunset like colors surrounding it, and he wore a backwards hat over his blonde hair. It really suits him.

"Ready for school?" He asked. Even though he was speaking Korean, his Australian accent was very heavy. Him and 'dad' are from Australia.

I fidgeted with my jacket, and nodded. He noticed my uncomfortableness in my own clothes right away.

"Okay, that does it." Felix said, adjusting my jacket the right way for me. "After school we're going to the mall and we're getting you clothes you actually like."

I frowned. As much as I appreciate his offer, I had to deny.

"Felix, you know I can't. Even if I hide them under my bed and just wore them as gym clothes, I've built myself up a reputation. And if anyone thinks any different of me, I'll get shit from it. And I wouldn't be able to deal with that. Plus, it would make kids suspicious."

"I just feel bad, you're obviously so uncomfortable."

Felix was right. But sadly, I just have to suck it up. I don't want to have to go through even more bullshit then I already do.

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I hope you guys will like this story! And YES, Felix's outfit I described i s the outfit he wore on that one Pops in Soul episode. I just loved it so much and it really suited him :)