Half Hidden // Seungin

S I X T E E N

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Yang Jeongin:

I kept running, until I reached a quiet park. I sat on the grass under a big tree, the branches and leaves covering the sunlight.

I leaned against the trunk of the tree and brought my knees to my chest. I rested my head on my knees and finally let out the tears that have been threatening to fall for days.

I cried and cried, rubbing my arm as I did so. I haven't felt tempted since middle school, but it's starting to come back. I had to use all my self control not to cut my arm with the sticks surrounding me. Maybe the park wasn't the best place to run off to.

It's been so stressful lately. I haven't liked anyone in so long, and now all the pressure of having to keep it that secret - on top of every other secret - is coming back to me. I needed to keep who I am hidden, and now more and more people are finding out. And it's scary.

What will they think of me? Now I know. Disgusting.

I kept crying, until I heard someone sit next to me. I didn't look up, but I felt the person rub my back soothingly, letting me cry.

"It's okay, Jeongin," the kid said. I recognized that cute nasally voice anywhere. It was Seungmin. Of course it was.

I looked up and turned my head to look at him. "Is it?"

I started crying harder, and through my glossy eyes I could see Seungmin frown. He pulled my head to rest on his shoulders, and every once and awhile he wiped my tears away.

He let me cry more, until I was worn out. I lifted my head off his shoulder, and we both stared straight ahead into the distance, not making eye contact.

"What happened, Innie?"

I flinched at the nickname.

"Seungmin I-" I couldn't even finish my sentence without getting choked up. "I'm c-crashing, I r-really am. I need help!"

"Let me guess," he spoke calmly, "this isn't really you is it?"

How did he know? All I could do is nod.

"Jeongin, please tell me everything," Seungmin said. He grabbed my hand to comfort me, and it made my heart pound even more. I squeezed his hand, needing the comfort.

"Seungmin..." I stuttered out. I didn't know what to say.

"Jeongin, I know. You're gay. You don't have to force yourself to admit it."

I finally made eye contact with him, showing him my teary eyes. I nodded, starting to cry again. I'm so embarrassed.

"It's okay, it's okay," he comforted, "why do you hide it?"

I took a deep breath and let it out slowly to calm myself down. "I-It's my father."

Seungmin looked like he was thinking, and then everything must have went click in his brain. He understood everything.

I kept rubbing my arm with my free hand.

"I know how you feel," Seungmin said, "I did the same to myself because I was scared of what people would think of me. But I got over it and learned to love myself."

I sighed. "I have to keep my real self hidden, or else it would be total hell for me."

"Why?"

"Everyone knows who I am. I have a reputation. And I can't handle hate, it would break me more than I already am. And my dad...I would never hear the end of it. He's a homophobe at its finest, and would be mad I've been lying for all these years."

Seungmin hummed in response. He noticed me rubbing my arm, and he must have put two and two together. He let my hand go.

"Can I see?" He asked cautiously, looking at my arm. I nodded slightly, and carefully rolled up my sleeve to revel my one single scar that was left.

Seungmin used a finger to trace the scar, frowning as he did. I flinched a little. Then he looked me right in the eyes, and very seriously said,

"I hope you never feel the need to do this again."

Then, he turned my own body to face his. Now, our bodies are facing each other. He grabbed my two my hands again, so now both of my hands are locked with his.

My heart is pounding out of my chest.

"You don't have to hide yourself anymore," Seungmin said with a faint smile.

"Because I've learned, that the right people will love the real you. And there's nothing more to know then that."

Hearing those words made me feel relaxed.

It felt like all the stress I have in this world disintegrated away, because in that moment we both leaned in and kissed each other, right there in public, on the lips.

~

Here's the Seungin content y'all have been waiting for ):

I'm soft 🥺