The Middle - Volume Two ✔️

Chapter 37

Jamie

I'm fifteen years old, my hair is blue, my eye makeup is dark, and I'm at Philadelphia Zoo with my best friends in the world. I'm in my happy place, and it's a happy time.

Joel is off visiting the giraffes with his niece Melody. He loves her so much, and she's a sweet kid. I don't really like kids, but I have a lot of time for Melody. Why else would I agree to do shit like this with her? Well, because I love the zoo. And I love spending time like this with my friends. I love the animals (the penguins are my favourite), I love the outdoors, I love the lattes they serve here (the ones in the cafe near the penguin enclosure come in the cutest little penguin styled cups) and I love being able to wonder around at your own pace, and even listen to music through your ear buds if you want. But I'm not listening to music, because I'm talking and laughing with my friends.

Erin and Jay have fucked off on their own. This happens often, when they aren't yelling at each other and trying to suppress their undying love for each other, they actually give in and allow themselves to make each other happy. I love it when it's like that, and it's like that today. Of course it is, because this is my happy place, so it's my happy dream. Or is it a dream? It feels so real. Elements of this are memory, but I'm pretty sure I am dreaming right now anyway. If I am, I don't really wanna wake up. Because everything is perfect. The sun is shining, the animals are happy. Nothing is wrong here. I could stay here forever.

I'm watching the penguins swim around in their pool with Patrick. He likes the penguins too. He likes them better than lobsters, for sure. Why am I thinking about lobsters? I don't know, I'm pretty delirious. Deliriously happy. The penguin mating season must have just passed too, because there are loads of baby penguins. They're so cute and small and fluffy. I can't seem to stop smiling.

"You want one?" Patrick asks me.

"A baby penguin? Fuck, yes." I reply, and he laughs at me.

"No, not a penguin. A pebble." He replies. What is he talking about?

"What?" I ask with a laugh, and he shrugs and laughs too. This is so stupid, but it's fun. Happy, happy, happy.

"You want a baby?" Patrick says. He looks serious now. Why would he ask me that? Why is he ruining my happy dream?

"Of course I don't. Now right now, anyway." I frown at him. Some of the penguins have disappeared now. Where are they going? Come back.

"Well, you shouldn't be so stupid with your pills then." Erin says, scolding me. She's reappeared with Jay. They both look so disappointed in me, Patrick too.

"My mom and dad were young when they had me." Melody is here too now. "But they were in love. It worked out for them. Are you in love, Jamie?"

"What? No. I don't know what love is. Besides this love." I reply, backing away from them as they all frown at me. The penguins have all gone now. I wish they would come back.

"What love?" Joel asks me. "I love Sarah. And Jay loves Erin. Patrick loves penguins. You don't have love. You just have a baby."

"Joel, what the fuck!?" I shout at him, just as I trip over backwards. I'm falling into the penguin pool now. I'm totally submerged.

I'm falling, just falling. Faster and faster. I can still see the sun through the water though. It feels like it's getting brighter. Even though I'm falling deeper and deeper into the water. I reach forward, trying to swim out, but I can't. I can't move my arms. What the hell is happening?

The sun is so fucking bright now, it's gone from yellow to white. It's searing my vision. I should open my eyes. Since when were they even closed? I need to open them.