The Middle - Volume Two ✔️

Chapter 50

Jamie

I'm walking along the beach barefoot, holding my converses in one hand. I'm still wearing my dress, and I'm fucking freezing, but I don't care. The cold sand feels good between my toes. And the headspace I get being out here at night is helping. I feel clear. I feel okay. I don't feel heartbroken.

I left my phone in the car, which is fucking annoying. I wanted to listen to sad songs, and I can't do that without my phone. So I'm listening to songs in my head instead. I just finished Miserable At Best by Mayday Parade, and now I'm on Hear You Me by Jimmy Eat World, one of my favourite songs. I've always loved that scene at the end of A Cinderella Story, when Chad Michael Murray runs off the football field and kisses Hilary Duff on the bleachers, with this song playing in the background. So cute. I'm such a sucker for a chick flick, and it's because I'm a romantic deep down. I may fuck around with boys, and I've had my share of one night stands. But none of that shit matters. I wanna fall in love. I want the real deal. I want the bulldozer moment.

I just wish I could know whether or not it's ever gonna happen for me. Right now, it feels like it isn't gonna happen. And even so, I feel okay. Maybe I'm just numb. Fuck if I know. I just know that coming to the beach was the perfect thing to do tonight, it's helping for sure.

So what would you think of me now? So lucky, so strong, so proud. I never said thank you for that. Now I'll never have a chance.

I watch as Benji trots around the sand just ahead of me, tentatively approaching the breakwater before deciding against going in. It's late, it's dark, and it's cold. He doesn't wanna swim tonight. Fair enough.

Then suddenly, Benji stops. He stands perfectly still, his gaze fixed along the beach ahead of us. Weird. I look past him, and I'm not sure if my eyes are playing tricks on me, because it looks like there's someone else walking along the sand up ahead. I don't know, it's hard to make out in just the faint light shining from the street lamps up on the promenade. But Benji's tail starts wagging, and then, he starts running along the beach. Shit. That person up ahead is getting closer by the second. I think they're running, not walking. Fuck. What is Benji doing!? He never runs up to strangers like this. Shit!

"Benji!" I call out to him, picking up my own pace a little. He ignores me and continues running towards the stranger. I think it's a guy. Fuck, I don't want Benji jumping up at someone. What has gotten into him!?

"Benj! Here! Now!"

Still, he ignores me. And it happens in slow motion. He jumps up at the guy, and almost knocks his over. Fuck, I have some explaining to do. This is not good.

But...wait. He's petting Benji. He's encouraging my dog. What the hell? It looks like he's wearing a fucking tux, too. Is this guy crazy? The only one stupid enough to walk along the beach in formal wear is me. I continue calling out to Benji, as I run over to them. And when I'm close enough, I can make out who it is.

And if you were with me tonight... I'd sing to you, just one more time. A song for a heart so big, god wouldn't let it live.

"Noah!?"

Benji runs back over to me when he senses my presence, and Noah straightens up as I approach him. He's breathless, from running. What the fuck? Did he run...all the way to the beach!? My mouth is open, and my eyes are wide. My heart is racing too.

“What – what are you doing here?” I ask him quietly as he continues to catch his breath. I don’t understand this at all.

“I ran down here.” He’s only a little breathless now. Right, he runs a twenty minute drive and he’s a little breathless. I’d be dead already. “You weren’t at home, I figured you’d be here. Or the park. I ran through the park too.”

I nod at him slowly. “Okay, but why –"

“You look beautiful, by the way.” He cuts me off, and I blink, completely startled. What the hell is going on here?

"Um, thanks." My voice is quiet. I'm too confused, and I'm in shock.

"I wanted to talk to you at the dance, but Patrick told me you left. So, here I am. I wanna talk to you now." His voice doesn't falter, and he isn't being awkward. Just like the other morning. I can't move, and I can't speak. So I wait for more.

"I haven't talked to you since we...you know. The other morning at your house. But since then, I knew I wanted to talk to you tonight. And I knew exactly what I needed to say to you. Something I should have said to you months ago." He takes a deep breath, and he never looks away from my eyes. "I'm a fuck up. That's the truth, and you know it. The sharing game, the way I am with girls, my fear of commitment. All of it. Well, the truth is. I don't wanna care about any of that anymore. Because of you."

I blink a few times, and I consider pinching myself to check that this is actually happening. Hear You Me is still playing softly in my head. Is this my "end of movie" moment? It kinda feels like it might be...

"You're the coolest girl I've ever met, and I'm done fucking around with you. I don't want us to be that way anymore. You told me you liked me a while ago, and I don't know if that's still the case now, but regardless, I wanted to tell you that I like you too. You know I do, Jamie. I may have a funny way of showing it, and I may be scared of fucking everything. But... Damn I was gonna quote Dirty Dancing and I've totally forgotten the line."

Finally, he falters a little. He laughs and runs a hand through his hair. I smile. I can help him out here.

"Me? I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw, I’m scared of what I did, of who I am, and most of all I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life the way I feel when I’m with you." I supply. I assume this is the movie quote he's referring to.

"That's it!" He says. "Well, something like that. I wasn't gonna say that word for word. But the point is... I want you. And, if you still want me, well, here I am."

"What about the girl you were with at the ball? The blonde girl in the pink dress? You had your arm around her?" I ask automatically.

"What?" He looks confused, and then, he laughs. "Shit, no. That was Zoe. I was trying to get some guy to back off from her. It worked. That was all."

I feel my muscles relax, because I believe him. Is this actually happening? Am I dreaming? Or is he really standing in front of me telling me that he wants to be with me?

"So... what do you think?" He asks. He sounds less confident now, because I haven't really reacted. I should let him know exactly how I feel about this. There's no point trying to tell him, I'll show him instead.

I take a few steps forward and look up into his green eyes. He looks right back at me, and I smile, before dropping my shoes on to the sand, reaching up and tangling my fingers through the hair on the back of his head, closing my eyes and pulling him into a kiss. He wraps his arms around me, and he kisses me back.

May angels lead you in. Hear, you, me, my friend. On sleepless roads the sleepless go. May angels lead you in.

A moonlit kiss on the beach. Me in my dress, and him in his tux. I don't know if this type of thing gets much closer to perfect than this.