The Middle - Volume Two ✔️

Chapter 68 (Noah)

Noah

~ December 30th ~

I'm an asshole.

Jamie said it right from the start, and it's true. I don't deserve her. I don't deserve anything good. I'm gonna end up like this guy.

"Noah, you know your face won't break if you smile, right?" My dad laughs at me. I completely ignore him and continue scowling into the beer I'm holding. He thinks he's such a good dad because he's let me drink beer since I was 16. Yeah. Awesome.

"What's the matter with you?" He says, sitting down next to me on his couch. His fucking wife and her fucking son have gone to see a movie together. So I'm stuck here. With him. Alone. I actually prefer it when they're around, so this is just great.

"Nothing." I reply. He knows I don't like coming here. My mood is self explanatory, as far as he knows.

He sighs before bringing his beer up to his lips. Hopefully he'll stop trying to chat to me now.

"Janine said Zach has a girlfriend now." He states conversationally. No, I'm not talking to him about that. I ignore his pointless comment.

A few minutes go by.

"No girls in North Bridge for you?"

Fuck me.

"No, dad."

"You're 19 now, Noah. I find it hard to believe you have absolutely no interest in girls."

"Well, you didn't when you were my age."

I can't help it. He makes it too easy. He sighs again.

"You trying to tell me you're a virgin? Is that it?" He asks spitefully. I look up from my beer, only to glare at him for a moment.

"I didn't think so." He says, setting his beer down on the coffee table. "You know, if you got a girl pregnant right now, your mom and me wouldn't force you to marry her. We didn't have a choice. You know that."

"Stop talking." I say.

I know they didn't have a choice. I know that both their parents told them they had to get married once my mom found out she was pregnant. That's fucking irrelevant. How he handled things with my mom was the problem.

"Staying together for a kid is stupid. You're old enough to understand that now." He says, his patience with me finally wearing thin. "If you don't wanna come around here anymore, you're free to stop whenever you want. But don't put everything on me. Janine's made her own choices since we had you."

He stands up and leaves the room. Good riddance. I toss back the rest of my beer before getting to my feet. I've spent long enough in his fucking apartment. Time for me to go.

I leave the living room, heading for the front door. Unfortunately for me, he notices.

"What, you're just gonna leave now? Just like that? No goodbye?" He calls after me.

"Bye, dad. I'll see you the next time my mom tells me to come over."

I open the front door and walk out.

I know there's no need for me to give him such a hard time anymore, but I don't care. He was never around. Besides alimony checks, he played no fucking part in my upbringing. I only see him now because I'm old enough to come around on my own (my mom didn't wanna bring me when I was a kid) and honestly, I don't see why me being older should mean I suddenly need to work on some kinda father-son relationship with that asshole.

Because he is an asshole. Just like me.

I pull my phone out as I step out onto the street, wondering if Jamie has text me again. I already know she hasn't, because I've been so distant with her since I left North Bridge. Even more so since that party the other night. When I got talking to Sam. When I did so much more than just talk to Sam...

I shake the thought off. I'm not dwelling on that. I made a stupid mistake, but it's done now. It was enough for me to realise that...well, just that. It was a mistake. If I could take it back now, I would. Because I didn't wanna kiss Sam, or anything else. I only wanna kiss Jamie. I just want Jamie. I knew this fucking weeks ago, so why the hell did I do what I did?

Easy. Because, I'm an asshole.

I consider calling her, or even just texting her to see how her days been so far. But, why would I? I didn't reply to the last text she sent me a couple days ago, and it's not as though I've been actively making an effort to check in with her so far over the holidays. I just wanna see her. Being around her is the only way I feel...whatever it is she makes me feel when I'm with her. I'll be back in North Bridge on January 4th. I'll see her then. And everything will be fine. No matter what. Even if I need to fucking take the leap and ask her out, officially. I will. Whatever it takes for me to stop being an asshole and just give being with her a shot. A real shot.

The last thing I said to her was that we're not a couple. I just had to fucking remind her of that. Because she called me when she was drunk. And I was already consumed with guilt over what I'd done the night before... I still am.

I sigh as I head down the street, putting my phone away. I'm not texting her. Not tonight, while I feel like this. We'll talk later.