- Twilight- Sideswipe & Sunstreaker (under editing)

chapter 15: recovering

Sia's pov
I was doing better, it had been almost two weeks, and Sunstreaker came always at nights to watch over me and talk to me. I missed the mech but also Sideswipe, maybe I missed him even more, the Last thing he told me was 'Don't you dare to die'. I longed for him, I wanted him to hold me and tenderly stroke and kiss me.

I already walked around, though, I carried a fear deep inside me. I was scared she would try it again, or maybe she would shoot me this time. I always tried to stay with one of the Autobots and was happy Sunstreaker watched over me at nights. I never told any of them what happened. I was too scared for what was gonna happen and I just felt bad for Sideswipe, sure, Sewer rat changed into Pennywise, but I was scared, every yard I walked through the base I was scared, scared she would kill me besides that she had a lot of friends here, so if she wouldn't kill me someone else probably would...

I locked the door of my room and grabbed Sideswipe's photo, I realized he didn't care about me, I was just no one for him and it hurt me. I pressed the photo against my chest, thinking about him. I almost forgot how he smelled or how his voice sounded. I missed everything about him, though, Sunstreaker wasn't having a nice time either, Pennywise was making his life horrible and I never felt so bad before, I had no idea how much longer I could do this. How long was I able to live in a place where I saw my crushes and sewer rat!? I couldn't handle it anymore, so maybe I really had to leave the base, and leave them here, but something inside me told me it was wrong to leave.

I sighed softly and looked at the picture I had of Sideswipe "I love you, Sideswipe... If you had trusted me enough... if you spend time with me I could have shown you how much I love you! How much you mean to me and how much I long for you...I would do anything to have you next to me in bed or to eat with me!" I said, but it wasn't possible, he was in love with someone else and I had to accept that.

Today, I helped Ironhide around who was also keeping a close optic on me, like I could fall dead every moment. "Is sideswipe okay?" I asked. "yeah! totally obsessed with that femme!" he growled. "sewer rat! you can't trust her, Hide!" I growled, putting a gun back together. Ironhide looked at me, a bit surprised. "Why are you saying that?! did she do something?" he asked. "She has done things I will never forgive her... but I am just saying... you need to watch her! you can't trust her before you know..." my voice died down and I looked at him while placing the gun back on the table.

He raised a brow "You can't trust her!" I said finally, grabbing another gun. He was confused but I needed to say this to him! I wanted him to know she was a very dangerous person. "what did she do to you?" he asked finally, still a little bit surprised. "I can't tell you now... but when the time is there.. I'll tell you! I need to find a good moment," I said. "and that's not now!" I added on. Ironhide said nothing but was a little bit suspicious.

Later that day, I bumped into Sideswipe and felt the tears sting in my eyes I wanted to hug him and never let go again, damn this was so painful. "Sia..." he said a little bit awkward. I said nothing "I have to go," I said while passing him, leaving him standing there. "Are you okay?" he asked. I turned around "yes... I am fine..." I whispered. Sideswipe walked over to me and laid his hand on my cheek. I leaned in his touch and wanted to tell me what she has done to me, but it was hard and I was scared. "Why are you crying?" he asked softly. I looked at him "I have to go..." I said, pulling away from him.

"Can you please tell me what you're feeling?" he asked. "No... I won't," I said. "Why not?" he asked. I brushed the tears away "I thought we were friends, but the last thing you said to me was 'don't you dare to die' and you never looked back at me, I guess we aren't friends, and I understand, it's fine... I get it," I said while stepping back. He only stared at me "You have a life now with my sister... so I get it... I am glad I know the truth... I wish you the best of luck..." I said with a sob.

Sideswipe said nothing, he only stared at me "we are friends," he said finally. "Are we? cause last time I checked... you were snapping at me for calling your brother sunny! and ehm... you know I haven't seen you for two weeks... that's fine! It's fine... cuz now I know our friendship doesn't have any value," I told him. Sideswipe walked over to me "It does have value!" he stated. "It's okay, Sideswipe... I already accepted this two weeks ago... it's fine, I don't have to see you anymore ...so please don't talk to me anymore... You never did that anyway ...so... keep that up!" I told him. "Come on, Sia! you overreact!" he snorted.

I felt another tear run down my face, he stared at me again "goodbye!" I said before I turned around and walked away...