His love

19. Insecurities

19. Insecurities

James Dayton's P.O.V

Biting my lips, I try to think really hard. Something I've never done in my life.

I know that women, when they are angry, can be very dangerous. Very, very dangerous. A wrong word and I'll go flying out of the window.

"Me? Insecure?" I snort like this is the funniest thing in the world. But when I think about it, maybe I am. Always making fun of me and comparing myself with the other guys.

But I can't help it. When you look in the mirror and see someone like... me... You can't say 'How sexy you are'. Because I am not.

"Yes, you. Don't act like it's not true. But I don't understand why you are like this." She continues rambling, but slowly this time.

Her tone of voice seems more gentle and calm than it was a few seconds ago so maybe I won't be dead by the end of the day. Yay? Maybe.

But I'll see my dad again so not really.

"Like this? What do you mean? Pathetic? Ugly?"

I take a big breath of air and rest my arms on the table, not before snorting and closing my eyes.

"See? You are insecure? Who told you you're ugly?" Aria seems really angry, her arms are clenched and her face is crossed by a big frown. Waiting for my answer like a lion for its prey.

Trying to convince her that no one told me this, even if it's not true, I just shrug and continue saying.

"No one. This is what I think."

"Why?" Her question makes me sigh.

I hate talking about my insecurities, my reason why I think that I am pathetic and a loser.

Because that's what I am, simple.

"Just look at me. What do you see? A guy with muscles? Denis? Some popular kid? No, you see me. Simple me." I spit out making her face scrunch in confusion for a few seconds.

"You are better than them. And you have muscles."

I try not to think about the fact that she complimented me, because I would turn into a blushing mess. Instead, I smile a little but shake my head, moving my hands awkwardly around me. Not knowing what to do with them.

"Better than them? Stop joking." I think about Denis. His arms, his abs, his face.

And then I think about me. Some muscles, but not much. A few tattoos done without my mom knowing at 17 years old, a few months ago. I can't wait for my birthday, which is in less than a month. Also a little definition on my chest but not like others. And my face...

Yeah, let's not think about... that.

"Yes, most of them are jerks and players." She snorts and rolls her eyes while thinking about them.

But then why was she talking about Denis like this? About me? Saying I am weird and all of that?

"So now you want to say I am a perfect guy after you told your friends I am weird. Yeah, right. I am going to believe you."

I comment and watch her face pale. I feel bad but that's the truth. If I wouldn't have heard the conversation with Denis, I am sure Aria will keep lying, telling me I am the best while she doesn't really think that.

"No one is perfect. Also this was a big mistake. I am really sorry about that, let me apologize please." She implores me and grabs one of my hands, making me flinch for a second.

Surprised and confused, I look at Aria and then at her hand. When she notices where my gaze is lingering, she blushes, murmurs a small 'sorry' and takes her hand away from mine.

Making me miss the warmth it gave me.

"Okay. But how could I know you aren't lying?" I ask, very curious about what she would respond.

"I'll prove to you that you can trust me. I swear. Just forgive me." Looking at her puppy eyes, I am thankful that I am sitting or else I'll probably melt under her stare.

When Aria also moves her lips into a pout, I almost lose it.

"Maybe. I'll think about it." I say trying to be dramatic, but I just sound dumb.

Stop making fun of yourself. You are not that dumb. Sometimes...

"Thanks, thanks, thanks." She laughs and smiles widely, making me feel good and happy along with her.

When I see her smile because of me, it's the best thing ever.

I smell something good and when I turn around, I notice the waiter coming towards our table with two big plates.

Licking my lips and grinning like crazy, because of Aria and the pizza, I wait for it to be placed in front of me.

Aria and pizza. What could you want more in life?

Seeing fruits on her pizza I can't resist commenting something.

"That's disgusting."

The next moment I see a napkin on my face. A wet one. Taking it with my thumbs, I frown and throw it back at her, making Aria groan.

"Stop making my delicious pizza disgusting, uncultured ass." Aria comments making me throw my head back and laugh.

When I look at her again, I see her gazing at me long, not taking her eyes away. I gulp and ask her with my eyes if she wants something.

"Umm nothing. Let's eat. Wait." An idea seems to get in her head and I look up waiting for her to say something. Feeling like something bad will happen.

"Taste mine."

I gulp and look from her to the pizza like it is some kind of monster that I am afraid of. I know it won't do anything to me. But the idea of pineapple on pizza scares me.

"Don't be a chicken." Aria starts making strange noises, probably trying to sound like a chicken.

Attracting the attention of other people, and making me want to sink back in my chair and disappear. I don't like attention.

"Okay, okay. Just shut up." I act like I am annoyed, but I feel a tug of a smile on my face. She probably sees this too because I hear her colorful laugh.

I don't want to think at this moment about all the times I was bullied. Or at the times I was the loser in all situations. The person who never had a partner in school projects.

I just want to think about Aria. That's all.

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Hey,

Sooo I really want to clarify something. I didn't make him insecure or something because this is a topic popular on wattpad or because it is TrEnDy. This is a serious thing that happens all around the world, in real life.

I was bullied myself so I know how it is. I just wanna tell that boys get bullied too and if you are a bully, you can go fuck yourself:)

Are the chapters too short?

- Laura