Blame it on me' ~ Post Malone

19.

That he only felt sorry. I was unable to answer. Well, I could; I didn't know what to say. I had a hard time telling him the truth. "Madison?" I nodded in response. "What's so bad, apart from the fact that your best friend is dead, that you're crying now." I shrugged, hoping he would stop asking. "Is it what you were crying for in the toilets, right?" I nodded. "Can't you say it?" I shook my head firmly. Why the hell didn't he stop all those questions now? He probably didn't even want to know. I would have regretted that he had asked if he knew.

I got myself back under control and wiped away the last tear. "You can trust me; you know that?" "That's not it." "Then what is it?" I didn't know what to say; I weighed my options. Tell, don't tell. Tell, don't tell? "You're not going to handle it so well." "Why shouldn't I pick it up well?" I shrugged my shoulders. "You must have a different opinion than me." I looked at my hands, folded on my lap. I felt my cheeks color and hoped that Austin wouldn't have noticed it. "Are you blushing?" Shit! A finger pushed my chin up, and again, my whole body tingled. My belly immediately exploded from the number of butterflies that floated around it.

POV Austin;

She confused me. What was so important about my opinion that she didn't want to say something? When would I have expressed that opinion? I couldn't help but look back at Madison, searching for an answer. She didn't look at me. Her gaze directed at her hands, which were gracefully in her lap.

Because of the arrival of the night, I did not see her well-anymore. Her features were only light to see in the dim light of the lanterns. Her face lit up just enough to see her blush. Another complicated thread joined the other threads piled up and jammed together. It caused a mess full of questions and without answers. "Are you blushing now?" And when I said those words, everything suddenly became clear. I immediately knew what it was. It could have been a thousand other things, but my instinct told me it was this. And my intuition was always right.

Something she was sad about. Something that also counted my opinion. Something she thought my opinion would not match hers. Something that made her blush. Oh. I lifted her chin, hoping to find an answer in her eyes. The only thing I noticed was pain, sadness. There was no presence of love. What did I tell myself? But I didn't give up. Something in me kept saying it was true. That Madison was in love with me. I had no intention of giving up. I didn't know what to do, and I tried to think of something to subtly ask without hurting her even more than she already had.

Her eyes were so hypnotic that my face unknowingly bent on her face. I stopped only a few inches in front of her face. I felt her warm breath go over my face and had to restrain myself. I couldn't kiss her, could I? But then I realized that that was the only way to find out. I didn't have the guts to ask, so I had to do it that way. "Tell me, is that deja vu? Cause you want me, and I want you," I whispered so quietly that the wind might just as well have been. I wasn't sure if she had heard it, but I felt her breath stagnate. Tears jumped in her eyes again, and I knew I was right. "Sorry." "Sorry?" Why did she have to apologize? I could jump high in the air that she was in love with me. She wanted to turn her face away, and I saw the first tear slide down her cheek. I did no longer hesitated and grabbed her face. "Sst," I whispered before I kissed the tear on her cheek. I felt her body shake, and I caught her eyes. They were full of surprise. Her heart beat faster, just like mine.

Her full lips seemed to hypnotize me, and I couldn't think of anything else. My face came closer and closer to hers, and I pressed my lips to hers. Immediately I was caught by a warm feeling, something indescribable. It was like having thousands of blissful electric shocks through you. Her lips felt warm and seemed hesitant to mine. I ended the kiss, and I gave her a penetrating look. A strange feeling checked my stomach — a sense of being in love. I had finally given in to my love for her. I yet knew she felt something for me too. Her lips were no longer on mine; they had left their mark. The soft texture seemed like silk against my lips, and I felt it slowly pull away. This moment was perfect; nothing could break it.

Or I thought so.