Blame it on me' ~ Post Malone

11.

"Yeah, I'm gonna take my horse to the old town road." It echoed loudly through the boxes. Joshua and Austin were completely giving themselves on stage. Everyone was almost on the floor laughing so hard. Joshua was genuinely dancing while Austin sang through the microphone like an idiot. I almost got a stomachache from laughing. Ellison fell from her chair to start laughing even harder on the floor. On my other side, Billy was crying from laughter. Only one thing went through my mind; this was the BEST birthday ever.

❤ 💬 ↗️

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postmalone It's only right to party all night 🥳🍺

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username1 You look so innocent. You're beautiful.
tylergrosso i love you
eliozie yes
username2 The way he holds his cigs gets me every time 😂❤️
galeriedeseth King back!
4 minutes ago

***

"I'm going to miss you so much!" I was cuddling Ellison, and after that, Billy and my mom were cuddling me too. Dad was standing sheepishly. It was already 4 a.m., and the flight flew back to the Netherlands in an hour. It had passed so quickly, and now I wasn't ready to say goodbye. I had been crying for half an hour, but now my tears were almost gone. "We have to go now, honey." My mom let go of me and looked back a little sip. "We'll write to you soon, just enjoy your year." Everyone gave me one last hug before they got into the taxi, waiting patiently along the sidewalk. I waved goodbye to the car until it was no longer visible and then lowered myself on the sidewalk, thinking about the evening.

It had been a great evening, with the karaoke at the top. Everyone had to recover for half an hour from Austin and Joshua's performance, so there wasn't much karaoke. So, you couldn't speak of a karaoke. When I thought about it now, I started to chuckle. So, I sat there for a while until I felt someone was sitting next to me. When I looked next to me, I saw a tired Brenda - who was not used to such parties. I often went to parties like this, together with Ri- I quickly shook off the thought before they could control me. Not on my birthday.

There was a silence between Brenda and me. We didn't have anything to say; we were staring at something. Or we did that until Brenda suddenly started to chuckle. "Did you think of Joshua and Austin's genius performance?" I guess. "Yes, me too." "That too?" I tried to finish the evening's facts, but it wasn't hilarious anymore unless- No, it couldn't be. I decided to take the risk, although something told me I didn't want to know. "What else?" "The moment you jumped Austin was great too," she said with a smile from here to Tokyo. I felt the shame again, and my cheeks turned red. I was lucky that Brenda couldn't see that in the dark. Of course, she started laughing at me again with the fact that I had said to him, "I love you." It also reminded me that my feelings for him were impossible, and I immediately felt a cloud of sorrow that took over my mind.

I felt the tears puncture my eyes but fought against it. "You know," Brenda began pondering, but I didn't want to hear it, and I shook my head stubbornly. I felt the first tear slide down my cheek, and I started to walk before Brenda realized. "I don't want to talk about it now." I quickly went to the bathroom to straighten my face because the make-up was probably all over my face. In the meantime, the tears kept flowing, and I seemed unable to stop them. It was a combination of feelings and pain that killed me. Without knowing it, Brenda had been the instigator. But I couldn't blame her.

All sorts of thoughts haunted me, so I didn't hear the smiling sounds at the washbasins. "Haha. You should have seen her face; she almost fell to the floor when you made that move." "Yes, you also helped along with your cat whining." Smiling sounds echoed through the small space, but they still didn't get through to me. "You know," one of the voices began. "You like Madisonn-" The voices stopped abruptly when I opened the door, and I looked into the graying faces of Austin, Joshua, and an unknown boy. As soon as they saw me, their smiling faces turned to worried frowns. "Madison?" Joshua wanted to walk towards me, but I preceded him. "Never mind, Josh."

I went outside and tried to hide behind a bush so that no one would find me. I sat down on the hard concrete ground and tried to straighten my face. Something that didn't work without a mirror. I wasn't bothered; I had other things on my mind now. They mainly had seen me cry again; they must have thought that I was a 12-year-old crybaby. I didn't do anything else. But it was true; I did nothing else. It couldn't go on like that; it had to change. And there. On the cold concrete floor, on the best birthday I have ever had, I decided something. I would never cry again in front of the others; no one ever had to bear witness to my pain.

Even better, I wouldn't shed a single tear on Austin.