Ruin The Friendship / Brendon Urie

6. Brendon

I pull away from Emma after I just told her I loved her and kissed her neck like five times and I'm fighting off getting a boner right now with her body pressed against mine. "Do you want to get out of here?" I ask her and what the fuck just left my mouth? She is my best friend, what do I plan on doing if she does agree to leave with me? Fuck her in my car? Yeah right, she's a virgin and like hell if I'm going to take it. Well I mean I would, I would in a heartbeat, but not in my crappy car. It would be like fucking my sister right? But she is holding me like this and telling me that I smell good and looking at me with "fuck me" eyes. God damn, calm your dick Brendon. Emma is not at all looking at you like- "Yes." She answers, did she just say yes to leaving with me? The fuck, am I tripping? I pull away and she looks at me expectantly. I intertwine our hands again for the second time tonight and lure her through the crowd of horny teenagers, myself included. I grab her shoes without breaking a stride and hand them to her outside the bathroom. "I'm gonna take a piss and then we'll go," I tell her rather hastily and she nods like a shy child.
I enter the bathroom and go right to the sink, I in fact don't have to pee. I'm just freaking the fuck out. I look at myself in the mirror, "what are you doing Urie?" I ask myself not caring if anyone is in here. "She's your best friend, you're suppose to protect her, not fuck her." I say out loud again and I splash some cold water on my face to calm down. I lean over the sink on my elbows and let the water drip off into the bowl. I have never thought of her like this until tonight, what is so different? It's not the dress, I've seen her dressed up before. Hell I've seen her naked but she doesn't need to know that nor does she remember it. I know she saw me in all my scrawny white boy glory the night I streaked. But what she doesn't remember is getting white girl wasted and throwing herself at me that night begging me to take her virginity. I walk out of the bathroom with a plan, or somewhat of a plan but that plan is shot to hell when I see Chris talking to Emma. I stride over quickly and guard her with my body. "Dude, did I not make myself clear?" I challenge him and shove him away from Emma. "Don't fucking touch me man," he pushes me back and I smile. My sick twisted smile because I'm about to lay this mother fucker out. I swing and he's down for the count, so worth spraining my wrist for the third time this year. Before I can check on Emma, Mr. Lloyd grabs my arm and escorts me out of the main ballroom. I hear Emma behind me and I turn as much as I can with his grip tight on my arm. She is looking at me with pained eyes and I mouth "I'm sorry," to her from a distance before we turn the corner and he sits me on a bench. "Urie, give me you're father's number," he commands and I just hand him my phone. Good luck finding it, I have him under as our local pizza place so no one knows how to contact him. If they were to scroll through my phone they would just think I ate a shit ton of pizza. He settles on calling my mom and she has to come pick me up, which my mom is easier on me then my dad. I'm her youngest child and she babies me even at 18. The teacher keeps my phone and hands it directly to my mom when she picks me up. She smacks the back of my head, just barely, and she storms through the parking lot. "Mom can I get my phone back?" I ask and she laughs. "No, not until Sunday after church." I gape her from across the top of the car. "Mom! I was protecting Emma! Her lame ass boyfriend dumped her yesterday and he was starting shit tonight." I try to explain and she isn't hearing it. "I don't care Brendon! You are a legal adult now, you can't go around assaulting people. He could press charges, you could go to jail!" She cries out and god damn I messed up tonight. We settle into the car and she drives us home in silence. Both women I love are hurting right now because of me. I have to reach out to Emma though. I have to know what is going on between us. Even if it ruins our friendship.

I wake up the next morning in cum stained boxers. God damnit. I don't even remember my dreams most of the time, I just wake up to wet boxers and sheets. At least this time I was on my back so I don't need to change my bedding. I hop in the shower and after I'm dressed I walk down the steps towel drying my hair. My mom isn't up yet so I go in her purse to get my phone. She never hides it, she just takes my word that I accept my punishment. Emma called me twice last night. Around 10:30pm after the fight and again at the end of the dance. I also have 4 texts from her.

Em: hey are you ok?

Em: just let me know what happens

Em: I'm worried B

Em: you broke his nose, I'm proud of you 😊

I smile at the last text and shake my head. God I love this woman. Wait. What? Well I mean yes I do love her, I'd do anything for her. But I feel like I just said that in a different context though and now my heart is racing. I push it aside and text her back quickly before my mom gets up.

Me: hey I'm fine, my mom talked to his parents and everything is ok. How are you? I'm sorry I ruined your night

Em: no it's fine! It was better then I thought it would be lol

Em: considering the break up and everything

Me: I'm glad I broke that mother duckers nose

Me: wow autocorrect, who says duckers ? Lol

Em: Lmao! Like ever? It's not even a word but yeah anyway Kat is still asleep. Are you grounded?

Me: yep until Sunday after church

Em: that's like nothing, I get grounded a month for coming home smelling like weed even though I don't smoke it and it was your weed lol

Me: that was last year lol

Em: yeah and my mom reminds me everytime I go out to this day

Me: jeez

Me: so I have a question

Em: shoot

I typed multiple texts before I can decide

Me: what did you think we were going to do last night?

Me: did you mind that I kissed your neck?

Me: I really want to kiss you, on the mouth

Me: would it be weird if I took you on a date? Like as more then friends?

Me: do you like me more then a friend?

Me: I want to fuck you

Ok clearly not that last one. I delete them all and settle on this.

Me: I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable last night. I enjoyed dancing with you and you looked beautiful

Em: thanks 🐝

She didn't answer my question. I think about pressing it but decide to not chance my luck. Plus I hear my mom rustle up stairs.

Me: I have to go, ttyl

Em: don't die before graduation lol

Me: no promises

I lock my phone and slide it back into my mom's purse just as she comes into he kitchen and I sip my coffee nonchalantly. "Good morning, how did you sleep?" She asks suspiciously. I take another sip. "Fine."