Ruin The Friendship / Brendon Urie

10. Brendon

Fuck.

"What the fuck Brendon!" Emma is yelling at me. After I told my parents about my plan to go to LA to pursue music the night took a turn to say the least. As soon as we got back to my house the parents started talking and Emma dragged me upstairs to my room. I followed behind her like a grounded child. I rub my face as she goes on about college and college without me. Double fuck. She stops yelling and takes a breath. "Emma I wanted to tell you-" I reach out to her but she pulls away. "You're my best friend." She states, and even though she is not crying. I can hear the sadness in her voice and my chest aches, it physically hurts. I take a deep breath and rub my face. "LA is only an hour flight away." I try to explain but she just shakes her head. "Brendon, who am I going to talk to and hang out with and ask advice, because I'm still a virgin and now I'm going to college alone! I'm going to die!" She rants and I can't help but laugh, she's being a little ridiculous. "Brendon this isn't funny!" She shouts and stomps her foot, making me laugh more at how adorable she can be sometimes. "Being a virgin in college isn't the end of the world," I begin but- "yes it is! There are so many guys out there and I don't have any girlfriends and you were suppose to protect me like you always do, and keep me from making life altering mistakes." She frowns and I take a step closer. You can cut the tension in my room with a knife and I go to hug her but she fights me. "Em, come on." I say dropping my hands. "No!" She yells and tears break free. Shit. "Emma, I'm sorry." I reach out again and she pulls away but just barely. "Emma." I say more sternly and she hits my chest but I pull her in anyway. She sobs into my chest and I hold her shaking body. I soothe her and she turns her face into my neck, normally she is shorter then me but she has heels on from graduation so she is almost eye level with my face. Her breath tickles my neck and my body stiffens a little, the hairs on the back of my neck rise and I hold back the blood that is threatening to move south. "I don't know what I would do without you." She whispers onto the skin of my neck and my fingers flex on her back. I close my eyes and try to focus, focus on anything other then the fact that I have feelings for this girl. Feelings way more then any friend ever should. Which is why I took the gig in LA. It's a unpaid job, who would voluntarily do that? I'm hoping connections come out of it and I can become a songwriter or director maybe. "I love you Emma, more then you know." I reply and she pulls back to look at me. I look back her soft face, round and red from crying. I wipe the tears out from under her eyes and smile at her. "I'll visit whenever I can." I try to make it better, but it's not working.
"When do you leave?" She asks and I smile wider. "Not until after we get you settled in your dorm." Her face lights up and she smiles big, kissing me on the cheek. I laugh and hold my chest like I'm honored to get a kiss. "Oh shut up!" She bats my chest and I pull her in my chest for another hug. This one isn't sad, this one is happy and I sway side to side hugging her and eventually pick her and spin her in a circle. She laughs in my ear and I set her gripping her waist to make sure she is stable before letting go. A knock at the door silences us both. "You guys ok?" My dad calls and I move to open the door. "Yeah, we're good." I answer and turn back to Emma to smile and nod at her. "Good, cause the moms are worried and sent me up here in case Emma was murdering you." He teased and Emma laughed. "Not yet anyway," she agrees and I make a face at her, resulting in us both laughing.
We travel back downstairs where our moms are in the kitchen laughing and talking? Am I seeing this right? They had a falling out after Emma's parents split, not because of Emma. Because well Emma's mom kind of stopped parenting due to her depression and my mom stepped it up and said some not so kind things to Emma's mom about parenting and they stopped being friends. My mom is wiping her nose when I enter and she smiles at me. "Aw mom, its fine." I say and she sobs but doesn't keep crying. "But you're my baby boy, and you're leaving us." She sniffles and I hug her. I hold her for several seconds and she pulls away to cup my face. She is squishing my cheeks a little bit and I laugh. "My baby Brendon," I blush. "Mom," I whine, out of embarrassment and Emma giggles. "Emma shut up!" I tease and we laugh, she takes a seat at the dining room table for cake and I enter the room too. "Oh I'm sorry baby Brendon said what now?" She teases and I go over and shove her shoulder. She leans over but bounces back and sits upright in her chair. "You're such a dork," I mumble and she shrugs. "Yeah but you love me." I smile and lower my head into my chest and nod. "Woah, wait, when did that happen?" Emma's mom exclaims. We all look at her confused. "Are you two together?" She asks putting a finger between both of us. "No," "We couldn't," "Best friends," "No," "Why?" We talk over each other and deny everything. I look over at Emma and she looks at me. We are both beet red and our parents look at us expectantly. "Something happened there," my mom leans over and whispers to Emma's mom and I laugh nervously. "Nope, nothing happened. Can we have cake now? And can Emma sleepover?" I ask because I want to talk to her more tonight, not tomorrow. "Yeah, something definitely happened." Emma's mom leans and whispers back. "Mom!" Emma shouts and I rub the back of my neck. "Fine! I'll get the cake!" I say impatiently and rise from my chair. "No, I'll get it. Stay next to your girlfriend." My dad teases and I can't believe them right now. "She's not my girlfriend!" I shout, a little too loudly and instantly recoil and fiddle with my fingers in my lap. "Brendon relax, we're just messing with you guys. Even though it would be adorable if you guys dated. You've been friends forever." Emma's mom explains and I glance at Emma who is just as embarrassed as I am. "Mom, this isn't appropriate and plus no one will ever date me." She mumbles and I gape at her. "So not true!" I defend and she laughs. "Thanks B but you kissing me when I was 12 doesn't count." She admits and I remember that night. We barely kissed. "That was barely a kiss, we got interrupted." I explain and I hear a gasp from our moms. "Oh my gosh." I ignore my mother. "Yeah, but you didn't even want to. You said to just get it over with." Emma fires back. "Oh well that's not right." Emma's mom chimes in. Oh really we're doing this now? Ok fine. "Really, you wanna argue right now over something I said years ago? I didn't want you to feel bad!" I raise my voice a little and my dad comes out and places the cake on the table silently. All three parents watching us bicker at the table while they stand and whisper to eachother. "Brendon I was just nervous and Brittany was being a bitch." Emma explains and I shake my head. "Oh yeah now you're blaming Brittany," I mumble and she punches my arm and Emma's mom laughs. "Just because she's your ex doesn't mean you have to stick up for her." She yells and now I'm pretty heated too. "She's barely my ex, and I'm not sticking up for anyone. I just wanted you to feel better and obviously you're comfortable with me so why not kiss you?" I ask and she gets quiet. "Would it really be that bad if I did, do I repulse you that much. I mean I know were friends but you're so adamant about us just being friends like dating could not even be a possibility." Brendon for the love of god shut your mouth before you ruin the friendship. "Well it doesn't matter because you're leaving me here in crappy vegas and you are going to LA." She shouts back and storms out of the house. I groan and stand up heading to my room. "So much for cake." I hear my dad say before I reach the stairs.

I slam my door and curse. "God damnit!" I'm so angry and heated to even process her words correctly. It takes me a couple breathers and I changing my clothes into a tshirt and sweat pants before I realize what she said. Wait what the actual fuck? If I wasn't moving would she really consider dating me? I rush over to my door and pull it open with a teary eyed Emma on the other side. "Hey, I'm leaving and my mom told me to say goodbye to you. So goodbye." She says it so weak and I fucked up. "Emma, don't go." I plead and grab her hand. She looks down at it and pulls away. "I'll talk to you tomorrow," she whispers and I grab her arm. I pull her in for another hug and I feel like she got smaller since the last time I hugged her which was probably thirty minutes ago. "I didn't mean anything by what I said, and I'm sorry I keep saying stupid stuff." I whisper into her hair and I find myself moving it with my finger tips. She shivers and my body takes over. "I really am sorry for not telling you," I whisper into her neck and I close my eyes. "I was afraid, I am afraid." I kiss her neck and she holds me tighter. "Please stay," I beg and she pulls away. "I'm going to go, but call me tomorrow. Ok?" She asks and I nod. "Ok, goodnight." She smiles before leaving. "Goodnight baby Brendon."