Ruin The Friendship / Brendon Urie

8. Brendon

I asked Emma to go to this party with me and she said yes, but I'm trying to figure out if we could be more then friends or not. In the hallway we got extremely close and I was nervous but she was fine. I'm getting dressed now for the party and I decide to wear a button up over a tshirt and my nice pair of jeans, jeans without holes in them. My hair is a hot mess so I put a hat on to tame it and spray on some cologne, even though I rarely use it. I don't know why I'm trying so hard and who I'm trying to impress. I just feel like it's something I have to do. I grab my phone, bag and keys and go to pick Emma up. "Bye ma, I'm sleeping over Emma's tonight." I call out as I'm leaving and shut the door before I get an answer back. My feet feel heavy as I walk down the payment to my car and I fall into the drive seat, successfully throwing my duffle bag into the back. I sit for a couple moments taking deep breaths because I'm feeling anxious before I tuck it back in and put my keys in the ignition. I pull up to Emma's and go to her door to knock. I never text her when I'm here, I always get out and physically get her. I don't know it's just something I have always done. Even when we were kids, my mom would send me to the door to pick her up and I guess it just carried over to now. I hear Emma yelling at her mom and she opens the door. "Bye ma, be home later." Her mom doesn't answer, poor girl. Her dark brown hair, it's almost black, is curled down around her breasts. Her green eyes sparkle from the sunset and she has red lipstick on. "Fuck." I mumble

"What B?" She asks, she clearly didnt hear me when she was getting her purse. "Nothing! Ya ready?" I ask and she nods walking pass me towards my car. She is wearing the tightest jeans, dear god help me. I need beer, beer now. We pull up to the party and it's only a couple people. An hour in I have a nice buzz going and the party is in full swing now. The music is loud and my ears are ringing, and I'm sweating profusely. Emma dissapeared with Kat a while ago while I'm high on the couch. Spencer and I are slouched into the couch so much we might look like we're melting. "Dude, what's wrong?" Spencer leans over and I shrug. "Nothing, just a lot on my mind." I take another hit and blow the smoke up toward the ceiling. I catch sight of Emma and Kat across the hall in the kitchen. They're laughing and Emma turns towards my direction. She looks at me, my breath catches at being caught but I just play it off and nod my head at her and hold up my blunt. She smiles and declines, going back to her conversation with Kat. "Just ask her out," I hear. "Huh? What?" I turn toward Spencer who is now taking my blunt and sucking in its contents. "You two obviously like each other, ask her out." He says blowing the smoke out. "What? No we are just friends." I state taking my blunt back. Spencer laughs and I take another hit. He's stressing me out with this topic. "Dude you won't shut up about her and I know when you like a girl." He explains, "Yeah, but its Emma," emphasis on Emma. "Even more the reason to, you have known each other for years." I shake my head frustrated at this topic and finish my blunt. I chill on the couch for what seems like hours when Emma comes over and falls into my lap laughing. "B can we leave? I'm tired." She states and I brush back the hair out of her face. She doesn't notice but we are extremely close and I wanna suck on her neck so bad. "Yeah, let's go," I say and tap her thigh to signal her to get off my lap. She jumps at the contact and quickly gets up. "See ya Spence," I shout and he gives me this look. "Fuck off," I laugh and walk out following Emma.

When we get back to Emma's she starts laughing at her phone. "My mom went to the casino, how rich." She tells me laughing but I know she is hurting inside. "Hey, let's just get inside ok?" I offer and she accepts. I climb out of my car and help her out her door, guiding her to her house. I open it up with her key and she pushes me away gently. "B I'm fine, I can walk." She states as she sways. "Oh yeah sure," I tease her and she hits my shoulder, resulting in her losing her balance and I drop my bag to grab her to prevent her from falling. "Emma," I sigh into her neck and she looks up at me with those green eyes. "We have to stop meeting like this," I chuckle and Emma does too. She stands up straight and grabs my hand pulling me upstairs. I pick up my bag and follow her, fingers still intertwined. If this were a cliche teenage movie. I'd look like that lucky son of a bitch getting led to her bedroom before getting laid, but alas I am not. Because we are just friends and I need to stop thinking for five god damn minutes! She pulls me into her room and it's the same room I've always been in, same purple walls, same grey comforter, her pink pillows and build a bears scattered throughout her room. Her bookshelf is full of novels, I always gave her props for how much she reads. I lose interest too quickly with my adhd. "B?" She asks, I snap out of my thoughts and she is looking up at me. She took her heels off and now she is a good 6 inches shorter then me. It wasn't always like this, I think everything started to change when I got back from camp. When I started having sex regularly, and I want her. All of her. "Yeah, sorry. I'm going to get changed."

I go into her bathroom to brush my teeth. I take my shirt off and realize I forgot my pajamas so I go back out and she is in just her bra and sleep shorts. I look at her chest and she looks at me and we kind of just stand there staring at each other until I cave and grab my bag. When I come back out she is in a t-shirt and I climb into bed with her. We have sleepovers all the time but this is the first time I'm sleeping in bed with her. I climb under her comforter and she is facing me. "You can sleep shirtless if I want, I know you're more comfortable that way."
"Are you sure?" I ask to double check and she nods her head yes. I sit up and take my shirt off. When I lay back down she places her hand on my chest. My breathing gets heavy to the point I really think I need my inhaler, and it's been years since I used that thing. I turn my head to face her and her fingers trace my chest. "Are you ok?" I ask her. "Can I sleep on your chest," I'm surprised by this question for some reason even though we do it all the time. She lays on my bare chest and I try to control my breathing but I'd be lying if I wasnt worked up right now. My breathing is labored and I have a semi hard on. She falls asleep immediately but I stare at the ceiling for another hour before I finally drift off.
I wake up the next morning and I'm completely tangled in her body. My head is in her hair, our legs twisted together and I'm spooning her with my dick pressed against her ass.
I'm up before she is and I don't want to wake her so I lay here and try not to move. I twitch against her and she rubs her ass up against me even more. I involuntarily groan and grab her hip a little harder then I meant to. It woke her up, she wakes up and moves slowly away from me. I roll onto my other side to face away from her. "Sorry, it's the morning and I didnt want to wake you, but I did anyway. Fuck." I rant out and rub my face out of embarrassment. Our backs are facing each other and she doesn't say anything for a moment. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize-" she trails off and we lay there for a couple minutes in silence until she gets up and goes into her bathroom down the hall.
"Fuck." I sigh and roll out of bed super quick. I change as fast as I can and gather my stuff together. "Are you leaving?" I startle because I didn't hear her come back. "Yeah, sorry. I have to go." I walk pass her and go down the steps, she doesn't follow. I walk out the door and when I get in my car I throw my head back against the seat. "What the fuck is wrong with me?"