Ruin The Friendship / Brendon Urie

18. Brendon

"Jess, you're not hearing me." I say very calmly even though she is sputtering all this bullshit about our relationship. "I don't want to work anything out, I want to break up!" I snap slightly and she looks shocked. We haven't been us in a while and especially since Emma and I had another moment this month I think it's best to get my life together. "I thought you were going to ask me to move in with you. Not break up!" She replies sadly and I move the baseball cap on my forehead up and down. "I'm sorry, it's just not working for me anymore." I state sadly and she nods. "Is there someone else?" She asks after a couple moments, "Yes. Wait what? No I mean no." I correct myself dumbfounded at my own answer. "Yeah that's convincing." She grabs her purse and leaves.
I sit at my kitchen counter and rub my face with my hands. I have been all torn up ever since Wednesday with Emma. She did text me saying she got her car a new battery but obviously it's a temporary fix for a much larger issue. I didn't reply though, I know. Shitty move. But I don't know what the fuck to do or say. I almost fucking kissed her! And I really wanted to, like really wanted to. I wanted to lick the ice cream off her neck and fuck her in the back of her crappy beat up car in the summer heat until our bodies we're covered in sweat so much we would slide off the seat. Earlier last year we had another moment at her birthday party but I was hammered drunk and she was wearing this tight little number that hugged her curves and oh my fucking god her body has gotten better since high school. We were at a bar, as usual for birthday traditions, and we were doing shots. Lots of shots. She never did a jello shot before, so I was showing her how to scoop it out with her tongue and yeah things got sexual. I was a panting dog next to her and ended up stumbling later that night spilling a beer all down her dress. She wasn't mad but then I could see the outline of her underwear and I had to sit for a while to hide my boner.
I take out my phone and it's 4:16pm, she'll be done work soon. Maybe I could bring her some dinner and talk? But there is nothing to talk about. Right? I mean the last time we had an awkward moment was over a year ago and yes I keep track. I'm trying to find some rhyme or reason behind this chaos and there is none. My birthday party obviously was the alcohol and weed. I didn't invite Jess because I didn't want her there. Yeah I know another dick move. I just wanted to spend time with Emma, Kat, and Spencer, that's it. We had a great time and Emma walked me home, she was more sober then me and her house was closest to the local bar. I don't remember much but I do remember staring at her tits. A lot.
I should text her, it's been 4 days that should be long enough, right? No it's not long enough, shit. Last year I had to wait two weeks before I could get enough courage to talk to her. I thought that moment was bad, Wednesday's moment was more intense. I'm not trying to ruin anything but I feel like it's been escalating.

Now that Jess is out of the picture I mainly focus on work. They sent me to New York this week for a new band I have to guide. I still don't know what my job title is exactly but I'm excited to just be a part of the Fueled by Raman Family. I enter the very tall building and show my pass. They escort me to the elevators and advise me to take it to floor 22. Which I instantly start singing Taylor Swift's song in my head all the way up in the elevator. I exit and speak with another secretary who places me in an empty office. The table has to be at least 29 feet long and it's only 4 people meeting. Me, the two band members, and the agent. I take a seat and get my papers together. I'm careful not to take my phone out because I am not messing this up. I hear the door open and stand up out of courtesy. The agent I know as Shaun Davis walks in and behind him a man in a red beanie follows, along with- oh my god. Josh Dun? Emma's Josh.