Ruin The Friendship / Brendon Urie

13. Emma

"Emma, please stop crying." Brendon cups my face and I sniffle looking up into his big brown eyes. There's two types of guy friends. Type A, them being super masculine, they don't give out advice except about sex and make fun of you. You guys never touch each other, those sensitive lines you just don't cross. Then there's type B, type Brendon. He protects you at all costs, is super sweet, hugs and kisses you, platonically. Yeah we still make fun of each other and have fun but its never awkward. He tells me things straight up as they are and does things like this that make me have high expectations in men. "I will come visit you, I promise." He whispers and he is choking up, I can hear it in his voice. "Then why are you upset?" I sob and he laughs. He blinks hard and a tear rolls down his cheek. But he's smiling, the intercom announces a random flight but it brings us back to reality. The reality being that we are standing in an airport staring at eachother like we will never see each other again, but neither of us will say it out loud. "I'm upset because you're upset, this is suppose to be good for me and you are making it so difficult to leave right now." He answers smoothly and presses his forehead against mine, closing his eyes. "I love you, more then you know." He whispers and I gasp. Before anyone else can do or say anything Brendon leaves. He just leaves me and walks away. I cry out not caring who hears. "Brendon!" He turns around briefly and smiles largely but his eyes are sad. "I'll see you soon!" He shouts back and pulls on his backpack straps tighter. He smiles and enters the escalator waving goodbye until he disappears.

3 years later

I listened to Brendon, I've known him forever so for me to think he was lying over some guy I know nothing about. Sober me is patting myself on the back. Brendon moved to LA and that goodbye was the most difficult thing I have ever done. Worse then him going away to camp over summer before senior year. I have no roommate if you fancy that news. Arnold was actually kicked out and banned from campus. Once I came out about his allegations, 4 other previous cases came forward, all of us under 18. Well at the time, my birthday is tomorrow. Big 2-1. I talk to Brendon sparingly, his internship has him running around like a chicken without a head and he is always tired and overworked. College is also keeping me busy but I don't know if I want to continue honestly. It's way different then I thought it would be and honestly the professors are dumb and the people here suck. It was exhilarating at first but that facade wore off very quickly. I went from dressing up in makeup and cute outfits to wearing sweats and a band shirt, not caring about what guys or girls think. Brendon taught me that.

"You're beautiful the way you are Emma, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. And if they do, come and get me, I'll beat them up." - Brendon Urie, Junior Year.

Junior Brendon was always ready to fight someone over me and I never understood why. I mean junior year I changed a lot. I hit puberty, I know that's late to other girls but I can't control that. So I guess it had something to do with that? Brendon also changed a lot that year. He became more cold. Not to me, just to others. Cutting friendships left and right. He got a job and worked and saved money up. Which I'm guessing had to do with him moving to LA now that I think of it. But anyway back to my birthday tomorrow. I haven't made any friends so it's going to be very uneventful on my part. I do want to video call Brendon and see his dorky face. That's my birthday wish, just to see Brendon's face and I told him this 2 weeks ago when he asked and he said he would make sure he had time in his day to make that happened so as it gets closer and closer I get more excited.

I spend the rest of my night catching up on tv shows and the next morning I catch up on school work. Even though it is a Saturday, my head is clear and it's the best time for me to do homework when I don't have classes. I sigh as I glance at the clock impatiently trying to pass time. Brendon said he would video call me at 3pm exactly because it was his lunch break. I teased him on the phone because it's not really a break when it's an unpaid internship to begin with. He did say he had exciting news to share so hopefully that's going to be him getting a paycheck now and not working at Starbucks. I honestly don't know how he survived living in LA for three years just off starbucks money. Knowing him he is probably living in his car.
Its 1:37pm and I slam my book shut because I can't deal with the anticipation. I get up and pace my dorm. I've been roommate free since I moved in. The college's way of making amends for the whole Arnold situation and probably to avoid me filing a lawsuit. Either way, I had this whole room to myself. I decide to text Josh to see if he is up. Oh my bad. Josh is my boyfriend. We started dating at the end of my freshman year. I met him at a party, it was a small party but he still managed to spill beer on me by accident and we got to talking. After a month he asked me out, he is dorky, sweet, shy and quiet usually but he plays drums and man is he good. He's currently looking for a band so we will see how this goes.