Ruin The Friendship / Brendon Urie

14. Brendon

Shit. Maybe I shouldn't have surprised her. She sounded so sad on the phone though about no one to celebrate her birthday with and she just wanted me to video call her so she could see my face. I honestly can't stand LA without her, all my coworkers know about her. I talk about Emma incessantly, and they tease me and ask how my "girlfriend" is. Sadly, she's not mine and I'm ok with that. I had my chance and blew it. I didn't do a single thing. We could have had something, multiple times. I didn't want to risk losing her all together though, and Josh is a really solid guy. Hell I'd date him. He really makes her happy and now I feel like I blew what shot they had. They were taking a new step in their relationship and I ruined it. Emma comes back inside almost on the verge of tears and I feel like shit. "Emma, I'm so-" her chest collides with mine and she hugs me tight. Probably the tightest she has ever held me and I need to go get Josh back here. "Emma let me go talk to him." I say as I pry her off of my body. "B, he's already leaving." She sniffles but she's not crying. "I'll catch 'em. You, um, put a bra on." I laugh and run out the door. I jog down the hall and towards the staircase leading to the parking lot. I catch him right outside the doors into the vegas heat. "Yo, Josh. Hold up!" I shout running up to him and he stops. This man is so polite it's not even funny. I stop in front of him and catch my breath, panting from that short burst of exercise I just had to endure. "Dude, how do you run all the time. The fuck." I let out a breathy laugh and he does too. "Ya good? You need water?" He teases me and honestly I probably do. "Haha you're funny. No but seriously do you have any?" I joke back and he laughs lightening the mood. I always liked this guy, that's why I have to save them from eachother right now.
"Please come back up and go out with us." I beg and he sighs. "Dude, honestly. She was more excited to see you then she ever has been with me. I get your friendship, you guys have known eachother for like what 10 years? But I've been hurt enough to know when to back off." He says sadly. I rub my face and sigh. "Dude listen, I'm going to be honest with you ok? There was a time back in high school when we maybe could have crossed that friends only line and I know Emma will never admit it but it's gone now. I've come to terms with it and I'd rather have her in my life as my best friend then not at all. And I really like you, you're really good for her and I'm sorry I didn't call I was going for the element of surprise. I didn't think she would be losing her virginity at 2 in the afternoon." I finish laughing and Josh blushes. Am I that dirty minded or are all the people around me just sensitive? "I knew something happened I just didn't know what. What did you guys kiss or something?" He asks and I smile. "Honestly, no. Just lots of intense stares, I kissed her neck a couple times and um some awkward sleepovers and drunken parties. Anyway! Please come out to dinner with us. Emma, I want you there. Please." I beg him and place my hand on his shoulder. He nods, "thanks for telling me." He says and I smile. "Is that a yes?" I smile and he nods. "Yeah." I nod back. "Sweet, let's go get our girl." I lead Josh back to the steps by his shoulders. "Our girl?" Josh questions and I laugh, "Yeah I come by extension. Sorry." I reply and Josh sighs, I know he's joking and I just chuckle behind him.

By the time we get back to the room Emma is more dressed and in fact has a bra on. Thank god. I could see her nipples through her shirt, which I indeed have seen them already in real life so. Um yeah. We are going to a bar, just us three and I'm so glad Josh is here. I need some guy time and someone to cut me off. I'm off the next three days and I'm getting hammered. We make our way to dinner first and then come back to the dorm to take a lyft to the bar. It's about 8pm when we get to the bar and I order a round of shots right away. "Um Brendon?" Emma questions and I smile devilishly at her. Her eyes widen and Josh looks excited? "Happy birthday!" I shout and Josh and I raise our shot glasses as a toast to her. She hesitates but eventually grabs her shot and raises it the air as well. "Thank you." She says shyly and we all drink. Mine goes down quickest. I turned 21 last year, but I've been drinking since I was like 13. Josh shot his but then cringed a little. Emma on the other hand is sipping hers. "Oh no no no. Shoot it, all at once. Go!"
"B, I can't-" I shove the glass up to her lips. "Just gulp it down, go!" I laugh and reluctantly she does. It goes down easier then both her and I thought it would and Josh gapes at her. "You wanna tell me something?" He jokes and we all laugh.

Beer check 3 hours later

Emma: 3 shots, 4 beers, and 1 water
Josh: 5 shots, 6 beers
Me: 7 shots, 8 beers

So much for cutting me off. I am done.
I'm carrying a beer back to our table. We migrated from the bar to a corner table in the back so we could sit. Someone nudges me and normally I would catch myself but seeing as I'm drunk the beer went flying all down the front of Emma's dress. "Shit, Emma I'm so sorry!" I yell and grab some napkins. "Its ok B, no worries. We're leaving soon anyway, right?" She wasn't asking me, she was asking Josh and the way her hand is sliding up his thigh makes me think it's one of those nights and oh my god her dress is practically see through. I gulp and take a seat. Josh gets up to get some more paper towels and I take deep breaths because I'm losing this self control battle. I'm getting hard, right now, in a bar over my best friend in a wet dress. This needs to stop. I cover my face and Emma taps my shoulder. "B you ok?" She asks and I nod. "Yeah, I'm just tired." I lie and she just smiles. "I bet, you're always working." She says soothingly and goes to rub my thigh. I grab her hand quickly and she jumps. "Sorry, don't, um, don't do that." I growl and my eyes bore into hers. She just nods weakly and tucks her hands away. Josh comes back and they clean up. Josh and I spilt the bill because again, he's a good man.

I quickly get up and go to the bathroom before we leave to try to get rid of this um, thing in my pants. When I come out Emma is alone and Josh is gone. "Where's Dun?" I ask and she smiles. "I sent him home. Come on, your turn. Where are you staying?" She asks and I really don't wanna tell her my car, but hey I'm drunk. "I didn't book a room, I was going to sleep in my car." Emma shakes her head. "Nope, you're staying with me. Come on, we'll walk." She says helping me walk through the bar. "What about Josh?" I ask. "He's fine. He said to spend some time together and he thanked you for making him come out. I thank you too B." Emma finishes. We trudge out of the bar and her place is like a mile from here. Good thing she isn't wearing heels. "Where to my lady?" I slur and she laughs. "This way, my fair prince." She responds in the same accent. "That's king to you!" I joke back and she giggles, "king of what?" I find myself lost in the sky. "Of the clouds, king of the clouds. " I say matter of factly and she taps my shoulder. "Ok yeah sure buddy." We walk for several moments in silence and I find myself looking down at her.  Her nipples are perky as ever and I know it's from the cool night air. I slide my leather jacket off my shoulders and gently drape it over her bare shoulders. She looks at me surprised but grabs the collar and pulls it closer to her neck smiling down at the sidewalk. I shove my hands into my pockets and watch my feet as we walk. After a couple more moments her arm links through mine and I smile at her. "What's up?" I ask and she shakes her head. "Nothing, just thank you."

"For what?" I press, even though I know it's for me showing up in person. "Going after Josh, I really appreciate it." Oh maybe not what I thought at all. "And of course for coming down, you know I love you." She leans her head on my shoulder for a couple steps before it gets too uncomfortable and we go back to our leisure pace. "You love him don't you?" I ask quietly, I know she does but maybe hearing will help me cope. "I really do, and I love that you two get along so well." I nod but stay silent. "So when will I ever meet a girl good enough that Mr. Urie here will bring her home to momma?" She teases and I shake my head. She's on my arm right now, but alas that ship has sailed. "You'll be the first to know if I sleep with her more then once." She cringes, "Ew, B." I laugh and her college dorm appears in the distance. "Eyy, we made it!" I fake cheer and we make it inside. She turns on her desk lamp and her dorm dimly lights up. "You want to share or take the floor?" She asks and I contemplate this. "Floors fine," I reply and strip my shirt. Emma looks for a moment but eventually grabs her pjs and exits. I assume to use the shared bathroom. When she leaves I also strip my jeans leaving me in just my boxers. I grab a pillow and blanket from her collection of many on her bed and lay down directly next to her bed. Emma comes back and I'm almost asleep already. "B, do you want clothes or something?" She whispers and I mumble a no. "What do you have on?' She asks and I chuckle. "Boxers, now shush." She lays in bed and turns off her lamp leaving us in darkness. Just as I'm about to fall asleep. "Brendon?" I hum and answer that I'm listening. "Should I sleep with Josh?" She asks and I internally roll my eyes. "Emma, that's your decision." I turn over on my side and pull the blanket up over my bare shoulder. "I know but like, what do you think?" She asks, her voice full of insecurities. "I think you love him and he clearly loves you, so what's the problem?" I try to sound sober but it's not working. "Thanks B, goodnight."
"Goodnight Em."