Ruin The Friendship / Brendon Urie

21. Brendon

"But dude she let me!" I explain to Spencer very enthusiastically and he just smiles and shakes his head. We are seated at a bar and we're a couple drinks in. I got done work an hour ago and we met up straight after. "So what was your plan? You still haven't told her that Josh wants to reconnect with her." He asks and I sip my beer. "Well, I mean. Josh is in New York right now," I explain and he takes another gulp of his. "Mhm," he hums insinuating that it's not and excuse and a bad idea. "So you guys were fighting over a remote and then you started kissing her and other stuff I will not say cause it's weird." I smirk, "humping her?" He grimaces, "yeah, that." I laugh at his awkwardness. "But I didn't kiss her on the mouth yet, I really want to." I explain and he listens. "Ever since prom we have been having these moments and I don't know what that means." I run my palms on my jeans because they're sweaty now and then I fidget with my baseball hat. "What do you mean by moments, and you guys have known each other for like ever. What changed?" He asks and I ponder that for a moment. "So nothing changed, and these moments we have, there's only a few by the way. The first one was at prom, which seems like years ago." "It was." Spencer chimes in and I nod. "Yeah, so when we were dancing, I don't know I just wanted to be closer to her. Fucking Chris dumped her and she didn't look sad but I could feel it and I had her stand on my feet because she is so short and it was just adorable. I just wanted her closer and after the song ended I looked down at her and her face was tinted purple from the lights, she had this one piece of glitter randomly under her eye and I just didn't want to let go. I kissed her cheek and I just kept moving down to her neck and her hands grabbed my back when I did. I remember it like it was yesterday." I ramble on and Spencer is just staring at me. "So you didn't kiss?" He asks and I shake my head dramatically, "No! And I told her I love her, which we always do but it might have come out differently without me knowing." I say rubbing the back of my neck nervously. "But next thing I know I ask her to leave with me and I couldn't even believe I asked her to but then she said yes!"

"Dude I know all this you told me, like a million times for three months," he laughs and I finish my beer signaling the bar tender for a refill. "Yeah I know, but like what was my horny teenage self going to do? Like I'm curious, if Chris and I didn't get in a fight. Where was I taking her and what was going to happen? She was still a virgin then!" I exclaim and he chuckles. "Alright move on to moment number two because I'm still confused."
"Alright so a moment is when something almost happens but it doesn't, so like me almost kissing her, or saying something overstepping a line we don't cross. Like me getting a boner at the beach from rubbing sunscreen on her and then again thinking about kissing her in the ocean." Spencer looks at me expectantly, "when did that happen?"

"Her birthday last year," I explain and he turns his body. "Ok, so prom, and then 6 years later? That's a big gap." He states and I shake my head. "No, there was also a sleepover, my birthday and something at the movies happened before her beach trip for her birthday." I explain and Spencer shakes his head. "You really kept track huh?" I throw my hands forward palms up, "dude this is driving me nuts I can't function." I reply and I know I'm a little drunk right now but it's true.
"What happened at the movies?" He asks and I take in a deep breath to start my story. "We were seeing fifty shades of grey," Spencer holds his hand up in my face, "say no more." He interrupts me laughing. "How about your birthday?" He moves onto that and I smile at the memory. "I was shit faced," "As usual," Spencer adds in. "It was my birthday, who doesn't loose control?" I defend myself and he gestures to continue. "Anyway, I was shit faced and I spilled beer all down the front of her dress, making it pretty much see through the rest of the night. I got a boner and had to sit in the booth until it went away and she walked my drunk ass home," I conclude and start on my fourth beer. "That's not so bad." He shrugs like it's no big deal. "Spencer she's my best friend besides you and she's a girl, so it's weird. Right?" I ask and he contemplates his answer for a moment. "Yes and no," he settles on and I make a displeased face at him because that is not what I wanted to hear. "Wasn't she with Josh then?" He asks.

"I'm going to the bathroom." I announce and leave him alone at the bar. I lay my head against the wall as I empty my bladder in the urinal taking deep breaths. I zip myself back up and after washing my hands I head back out and Spencer puts his phone away rather quickly. "Who was that?" I ask instantly curious. "No one, tell me about this sleepover." I decide to brush it off, I'll find out later anyway. "So I slept over her house after graduation because we both were at that party and her mom said I could. I really think her mom thought I was gay back then because she let me sleep in her room. "Anyway we were going to bed and I went into her bathroom to brush my teeth. I took my shirt off to get changed and forgot my pajamas so I went back out and she was in just her bra and sleep shorts. I looked at her chest and she looked at me and we kind of just stood there staring at each other until I caved and grabbed my bag. When I came back out she was in a t-shirt and I climbed into bed with her." I take a beer break and Spencer started eating his cheese fries. When did that happen? I think I got lost reminiscing.

"You guys have sleep overs all the time though." He states and I nod "yes, but this was the first time I slept in bed with her." Spencer makes an "ahh" face like it all makes sense now and I know he is teasing me. "I'm not done, so I climb in bed with her and she is facing me. She tells me I can sleep shirtless if I want because she knows I'm more comfortable that way. So I ask her again to make sure and she says it's ok so I take my shirt off and she places her hand on my chest. I remember my breathing getting heavy to the point I really thought I would need my inhaler. I turn my head to face her and her fingers trace my chest. I ask her if she is ok and she asks to sleep on my chest so I let her. We wake up the next morning and I'm completely tangled in her body. My head is in her hair, our legs twisted together and my dick pressed against her ass.
I woke up before her and didn't want to wake her so I laid there and I twitched against her and she rubbed her ass up against me even more. I grabbed her hip a little harder then I meant to and she woke up and it was hella awkward. We didn't talk for a couple days after that." I finish explaining and Spencer is lost in thought. "Ok so let me get this straight," He pauses. "Almost kiss at prom, spooning after graduation, drunken lust at your birthday party, movie sex scene tension, beach boner, and then another almost kiss when her car broke down?" I nod and laugh at how he labelled everything.

"Don't forget the reason we're here," I mention tipping my beer towards him and then sipping it. "Oh of course, you humping her on the couch." He mocks me, "don't mock me." I warn him and he laughs. "Dude relax, it's just kind of amusing." He replies and I wait for him to continue. "How does Emma feel about all this?" He asks and I shrug. "We don't talk about it." Fourth beer gone, another to go. "No more beer, and what do you mean you don't talk about it?" He questions with shock across his face. "We ignore it until it blows over and go on with our lives, we've always done that. I know not to talk about sex around her and she knows not to ask. It's just how we deal with things." I explain and Spencer is still staring at me. "That's so unhealthy," he states matter of factly. "Like hell if I'm going to ask her how she feels about me, more then a friend. I'm like her goddamn brother and-"

"You guys never, never say that about each other. In all the time I have known you two, not once have I heard you call her your sister and her call you a brother." I look at him confused, sure we have. Right? "Sure we have," I begin and he shakes his head. "Nope, never. Even when you had jealous girlfriends, like Jess, you never said 'Oh Emma she is like a sister to me.' You always say she's my best friend." He finishes and I contemplate this, why wouldn't I say that? Because you don't have feelings like this for a sibling and she is very much not my sibling. I rub my face anxiously and take in this new information, Spencer pats my back and rubs briefly like he is soothing me.

"Emma texted when you were in the bathroom." My head shoots out from my hands and I burn a hole in Spencer's head. "What did she say?" I ask urgently. "She wanted to know if you were alive because she hasn't heard from you," he replies and I close my eyes briefly. "I've been ignoring her calls," I mumble and he sighs. "Not cool dude, just talk to her." He settles on and now we get our check and start cleaning up to leave. "I don't know how," I admit and Spence smiles. "You do all the time, just talk to her." I throw some cash down and and we both stand to leave. "Yeah but I don't know how to be around her anymore." I whine and Spencer taps my cheek lightly to wake me up. "Don't whine, and just go apologize. Just ask her how she feels," he says it like it's common knowledge and I should know this. "But I don't want to ruin the friendship," I whine again as we exit into the summer heat. "Either way you are going to, if you can't talk to her or be around her then what's the point?" He explains and I shake his hand goodbye as we go our separate ways.
"And tell the poor girl about Josh if you aren't going to make a move." He shouts, walking backwards briefly.