We Met On The Road To Recovery

9.

Shawn Mendes
I covered my mouth with my hands as the tears started to fall.
"Oh my god" I cried as I sunk to a crouching position.
I just let the tears fall and kept my face in my hands.
"Shawn" I heard her say, and that soft voice made me cry harder. "Shawn, please I- I don't know what to do" she said and I rose back up to standing.
I took all of her in.
She wasn't the same girl I once loved.
She was thin, almost drowning in her dress, plasters covered two of her fingers, her cheeks looked sunken in.
An image of the incident flashed into my mind. The blood trail.
Her hung open mouth.
Her cold skin.
The way she was like a rag doll in my arms.

I sniffed the tears back, wiping the stray tears on my hand.
"Hello" I said and she fiddled with her fingers.
"Hi" she said, barely above a whisper.
"I Erm,"
"I know. I-I was hoping that it wouldn't happen like this" she said quickly, averting her eyes to the floor. 
"I had no idea that you would be here,"
"Me either"
I couldn't hold myself back.
She was here.
In front of me.
Something I was sure would never happen again.
I pulled her quickly in my arms, fearing that if I didn't she would be snatched away from me. It was as if a whole new feeling towards her washed over me.
I didn't want to see her.
And now that I have her in my arms, I didn't want to let her go.

"Can we talk?" I asked quickly as she took a step backwards, out of my arms.
"I don't think we have a choice" she said softly, and it took everything in me to not reach out and touch her face.
"You look different. Lovely. But different" I said and she scoffed.
"That's all I've heard all evening. I look different. Well, what does everyone think I would look like after I tried to-"
"Don't say it. Please" I said interrupting her.
"Sorry"

"Everything ok out here?" I heard Camila's voice ask and I gasped slightly.
"Fuck" I mouthed and I knew Faith had seen.
She looked confused, and as Camila's hand slid into mine I watched as the confusion turned to a pain I couldn't describe.
"Oh hi" Camila said with a smile.
"Hi" Faith whispered grabbing onto a chair beside her.
"That's such a nice dress. You look lovely" Camila said.
"Oh. Thank you. Very kind of you to say" Faith said but still didn't take her eyes off her feet.
"Would you like a drink?" Camila asked.
"I'll go get them" I said, swiftly leaving the two girls outside.

Faith Elizabeth
The awkwardness was killing me.
I had nothing to say to her.
She had nothing to say to me.
I turned my gaze back onto the city.
She was beautiful. I could never compete with her. Ever. Not before the incident and definitely not now.
Nothing I ever did to myself would ever make me as beautiful.
"I can't beat around the bush with you. I know what happened. Everything." She said and I closed my eyes. "And I can't say he's spoken about you because he hasn't and I can only tell you the truth and feel so so sorry for you. I do. I really do"
I squeezed my eyes shut and put my face in my hands.
"Please stop" I said feeling tears well in my eyes.
"We haven't been together long. It was a gradual thing. But we are happy."
"Stop! I tried to kill myself. I went to rehab. You have him. You have all I ever wanted. Please just stop." I cried.
"But I have no doubt that he still has feelings for you"
"Oh for Christ's sake leave me alone!" I yelled scaring myself at my sudden outburst. 

I cried and slid down to the floor, crumpling down into a ball.
"Just leave" I whispered.
"Christ, hey why don't you come inside, enjoy the party come on"
I dared not look up.
I just heard heels and the sliding of a glass door.

"Hey. Long time no see"
Manny.
"I'm broken" I said, my tears drying up.
"You're not broken don't be silly" he said and i sighed tucking my hair behind my ear.
"I can't control myself anymore. I should just be put back in rehab. I'm crazy"
"You're not crazy. You're just going through a shit time. I think you and Shawn just need to talk"
"It's been a disaster tonight. I've made everything so much worse. I always make things worse. Especially for your family and I'm sorry" I whispered. "If I had just never applied for that video"
"Don't talk like that. That type of thinking didn't get you very far last time did it now. Come inside. Talk to people." He said and I shook my head.
"All I'll get asked is how I'm doing or why did I do what I did. I'll come in in a second. I just need to compose myself. Thank you" I said and Manny squeezed one of my shoulders.
"See you in a second"

Shawn Mendes
"Did you hear her?"
"She's crazy"
"Why is she even here?"
"She's just ruining it for Shawn"
"Poor Camila"

That's all people were saying.
They even continued when Faith came back into the room from the balcony.
She looked more than embarrassed and hurt.
I couldn't let her walk around like this.
"Excuse me!" I shouted, standing up on a chair. "Thank you all so much for coming this evening it's such a special night for me. Being with my family and friends is just all I truly wanted. So please have fun and enjoy. But I do ask, please don't disrespect Faith Elizabeth. I'm glad that she's here and it's a very big time for her where we should all be supportive. Thanks!" I said and earned a clap at the end along with a few cheers.
I looked to Faith and saw something that caused my heart to skip again.
Something I hadn't seen in a long time.
Something I never realised I missed until now.
Something beautiful.
Her smile.