We Met On The Road To Recovery

35.

Faith Elizabeth
The nightmares were one thing about the ordeal with my father.
But the worst consequence was that mum was reconsidering letting me live in London on my own.
But I had to convince her.
I said to her that he was in prison now and I had nothing to worry about, and our deal about visiting was still there.
It took a hell of a lot of convincing but she finally let me do it.

The move was hard because Shawn's family wanted him home to make sure he was alright. He was still shaken and I knew he felt more relaxed at home. We hadn't spoken because he was taking time away from his phone, which was driving me crazy, but I knew he'd talk to me when he's ready.
I kept thinking it was all my fault. If he had never met me, if I had never said yes to making the video he wouldn't have to deal with my crazy life. I never said it anymore to him. He'd never talk to me again.

I was settled in. When we arrived we were told that Aaron has dropped out of the school so I would be living on my own, meaning mum made me promise to call at least three times a week.
I had been settling in for about a week and a half before I had my first class.

My first class went better than I thought. We were taught the basics of structuring a novel and were given the task of writing a plan for the first few chapters of a book to hand in to see where we excelled.

I was in my apartment, working on my plan, drinking a dark rum and coke, watching Netflix when a timid nock sounded on my door.
I almost jumped out of my skin.
I wasn't expecting anyone.
I held my breath as I walked over to the door.
"Yeah?" I said through the door.
I really needed to get a peep hole.
"Can you open the door?" They asked and my breath hitched in my throat.
I pulled the door open.
"What are you doing here?" I asked quietly.
"Well I was in the city for my tour and I thought we could talk?"
"Er. Sure" I said still in disbelief.

I couldn't believe she was standing in my apartment.
I had to shake my head to make sure I wasn't dreaming.
"Er, Camila?" I said and she turned on her heel to face me.
"D-do you want anything?" I asked her and she nodded.
"Just a water please" she said.
I nodded and ran the tap into a glass.
"Please," I said gesturing to the sofa were my work was sprawled out everywhere. I moved the papers onto the small table and she sat down opposite me.

"Sorry if this seems rude but, why are you here?" I asked and she sighed.
"The truth?" She said and I nodded, "I wanted to talk to you properly and Shawn asked me to check up on you" she said and I couldn't help but roll my eyes.
"Ok." I said and cuddled into my jumper.
"How are you?" She asked and I sighed.
"I don't know. I enjoy being here but I miss people" I said and sipped on my drink. "What about you? I've heard the album" I said.
"You have? I didn't think you'd listen" she said and I immediately felt bad.
"I did. It's amazing" I smiled.
"I'm not the bad guy you know" she said suddenly and I couldn't help but gasp.
"What?" I said quickly.
"I'm not the bad guy like you think." She said and I shook my head.
"I never said you were"
"You don't like me"
"I never said that. I just- look, I'm jealous of you ok?" I sighed and downed the rest of my drink.
"What?"

I looked at her and struggled to get the words I wanted to say out.
I sighed and pushed my hair off my face.
"I'm jealous of you. I always have been. I've always been jealous of what you have with Shawn. The way he looks at you in photos, I don't think he'll ever look at me the way he looks at you. Especially from everything that's happened." I said and I couldn't stop the tears that were rolling down my cheeks. "Just, what you two have is so special an- and I don't have anyone anymore. All my friends have left. And I don't even know where I stand with Shawn. I'm just a bit pathetic" I said and pushed out a smile through the tears.

I tried to wipe them away and in the midst of trying not to cry in front of Camila I barely noticed her arms wrap around me.
"It's ok" she said as she rubbed my back.
"I'm so silly" I smiled as she held onto my upper arms.
"You're allowed to have emotions. Everything will be ok. Do you want me to stay a while until you feel better?" She asked and my breath hitched in my throat.
I never thought Camila and I would end up here, we were like chalk and cheese, day and night. Yet, it was nice to have someone offer to stay. It was nice to be in her company.  
"Can you stay?" I said quietly.
"Of course"