We Met On The Road To Recovery

13.

Shawn Mendes
I had to find her.
But I had no way of doing it.
I was panicking.
I just had to think.

"You're trying to find her aren't you?" A girl asked and I nodded quickly.
"You know where she is?" I asked.
The girl sighed and rolled her eyes.
"The whole internet knows where she is. Don't you check Twitter?" She scoffed.
"Thanks" I said and quickly pulled out my phone as she walked away.
I quickly went onto Twitter and I saw I had been mentioned in countless amounts of tweets.
I clicked on the first one and it was a video of her wandering around Times Square on her own, wiping away tears.
Another one showed her leaving the restaurant also in tears.
I felt awful.
But at least I had somewhere to go.

When I got to the square it was packed.
People everywhere.
She was wearing white jeans and a black jumper. I knew that much.
I looked around.
Kept spinning around in circles.
Refreshed my twitter to try and pinpoint where she was.
The latest video was of her near some type of pond.
I looked closer at the video and realised that she had actually made her way to Central Park.
"Christ" I said and hailed a cab.

The whole ride to the park I was nervous.
I just hoped and prayed that she just stayed where she was, and that when I got to her, she would listen to me.
I raced out of the cab, not bothering to collect any change from the driver, just so I had a chance at finding her in time.
I tried to act as calmly as I could while still focused on finding her. I had a few people come up to me and tell me that they had seen Faith.
I thanked them and continued my search.

"Faith?" I asked as I saw her sat on a bench next to the pond.
No response.
I wondered if I had mistaken someone else to be her.
I walked a little closer and knew it was her.
Tear stains trailed down her cheeks and she shivered from the coldness of the evening.
"Fuck" I sighed and shrugged off my jacket.
I bent down in front of her and wrapped my jacket around her body and pulled it tight.
"We need to get you back to the hotel you're freezing" I whispered.
She blinked a few times before responding.
"You left me. Again" she whispered back.
"I know and I'm so sorry. I thought my relationship was more important" I sighed and kept a hold of the jacket around her.
"If I just drowned myself in that pool you wouldn't be able to hurt me anymore" she said and stared at the water.
"Don't talk like that. Don't you ever talk like that. I'm so sorry. I honestly cannot say that enough. I wish I could take it all back. And if I said to you now that I would change and only focus on you I don't think you'd believe me" I explained.
"No! Youve hurt me too much, too many times. I truly thought you cared for me! You don't! You're self centred!" She burst out and I gasped as she quickly stood up.

I stood up with her and held her arms as she started to try and walk away.
"Stop!" She cries and hit against my chest.
"You need to come back to the hotel" I said.
"You're such an asshole" she cried and I had to pick her up in my arms as I felt her knees go weak and buckle.
"Come on" I sighed as I carried her.
"I hate you" she whispered through her tears and just hearing those words broke my heart.

As we got to the hotel I helped her sit in an armchair in the corner of the lobby.
"Shawn can you go to my mum and tell her I'm fine I just need to calm down?" She asked me and I couldn't help but shake my head no.
"No. She'll want to see you for herself. Besides, you can't be left on your own" I said, to which Faith rolled her eyes.
"Please Shawn?" 
I searched her eyes and I knew she was truly begging me to not make her go to her mother yet.
I sighed and hung my head.
"Ok fine. But you're staying with me until you're ready to go back" I compromised and she nodded.

I left her and quickly ran up to her mothers room.
"Francesca? Fran?" I said knocking hard on the door before it swung open.
"Is she ok?"
"She's ok. She said she wants to calm down before you talk to her. She's scared you're going to send her back into rehab" I explained and she nodded.
"Tell her that we'll have to talk about it. Are you staying with her?" She sighed.
"Yes I am. I'll keep her safe I promise" I said and Fran nodded.

As I re-entered the lobby, Faith wasn't where I left her.
My panic mode set in.
I swivelled on my heel to take in the whole room.
"No no not again. No no" I panicked and ran my hands through my hair.
I put my hand up to my mouth and bit on my fingernails.
I turned around again and held my hair as the tears started to build in my eyes.
"Shawn?" I heard from behind me and turned to see her stood infront Of me.
I went to her and quickly wrapped my arms around her.
She put her arms around me.
"I was just in the toilet" she whispered and I nodded as the tears started to fall.
I held her close to me.
I knew that I would never let myself loose her again.