When at First You Don't Succeed - Sanders Sides

Part 27 - Virgil

Roman harshly pulled away from me, confusion in his glossy eyes. He grabbed onto his hair and began pulling. He backed up, almost hitting the door. He dropped onto his knees. I was by his side instantly. "Roman! Holy hell, what's wrong?" He failed to answer. His teeth were locked against each other. His eyes were slammed shut and his face was going red. "Roman, breathe!" I yelled at him. Lose tears fell down my face in panic.

He let go of his hair and put his hands down on the floor, pushing himself up. He banged his fist on the ground and let out an awful scream. I clutched my ears and wiped my eyes. This was hard to watch. Why can't everything just be normal for 1 minute!

His arms went limp and he fell forwards. I crawled over to him, putting his head in my lap. He looked normal, as if nothing had happened. I dug my nails deep into his shoulders and shook him. I didn't care how long it took, I need him right now.

His eyes slowly opened up groggily. He looked at me. I gave him a hopeful, open mouth smile. He sat up right and I hugged him. "I'm so glad you're okay." I mumbled into his chest. I felt his hand on my shoulder. I thought he was going to hug me back but instead, he pushed me away from him. "Roman?"

His eyes were half open but he was fully awake. He had a bored expression and his eyes seemed duller. "Why wouldn't I be okay, Virgil?" He said, very monotone. My eyebrows arched in surprise but loomed down in wonder. What the heck is wrong with him? Did he hit his head? Is he joking? I went to put my hand down on his hand but he pulled back, looking at my hand as if it were the plague.

"Roman, it's me!" I pleaded.

"I know it's you."

"Then why are you acting like this?"

"Simple Virgil. You are a dark side." I felt like my head had been pushed into the wall. Why would he say that? He knows I hate when that's all people assume about me. He knows I'm not proud of that fact. Is that really what he thinks of me? No, something can't be right here.

I had an idea. I looked into his half gray eyes. He looked blankly into mine. "What was the first creative thought Thomas ever had?" I questioned. Roman rolled his eyes and huffed.

"He wanted to color a dragon. Are we done with the questions?"

"No!" I spat. He raised an eyebrow. "Not just a dragon. He wanted to color a rainbow dragon because he believed dragons could be gay too. You were so proud of that idea as a creator. You'd only give up on it now if you weren't creativity anymore!" My hands shook as I finished. Roman's face didn't shift or show any sign of anything. He looked empty.

He put his hand on his knee and pushed himself to standing. "Perhaps I'm not the 'creative' Roman you know. But Thomas is changing as a person. Wrath is in command of him now. And my job is to make sure you don't stop Thomas; like you always do!" He grabbed me by the neck and lifted me up. My hands clawed at his but he didn't seem to care. With robotic steps his carried me out of my bathroom and was heading towards the door into the hallway.

In a blind fit of rage, I kicked Roman in the stomach. He let go of me and stumbled back. I was gasping for air but didn't have time to stop. I pushed him again, watching in fall back onto my bed. His movements were slow and predictable. I ran out the door, shutting it behind me. I had to find a barricade.

I ran into Logan's room and found a plank of wood from a project he must be working on. I grabbed it and ran back to my door. I shoved the plank between the door and its knob. I took a step back, ready to run if I needed to. I heard Roman jiggle the knob, my heart froze. When the door didn't open and the jiggling stopped I knew he was trapped inside.

I leaned back against the wall behind me. I let out small, slightly insane sounding laugh. I can't believe that worked. I wiped my wet eyes again. Roman wasn't Roman. That much was clear. And if Roman is acting up, then Logan and Patton must be on the fritz too.

I stood up again and walked down the hallway. I took heavy steps down the stairs. My heart was heavy and my mind was full. I don't really know how to fix this. I don't know what happened to Remus or Deceit. If they were here, they'd know what to do. They were always able to keep Wrath away.

I jumped onto the bottom step. My eyes traveled up to the control panel and the screen. There was a notice on the screen that I couldn't read. I moved closer to it, my eyes scanning it carefully. Please Note: The reprogram is complete & Anxiety function is no longer active. No longer active? I'm right here. My aura though...as long as it doesn't belong to me, the mind can't recognize it.

I cancelled the notice and was watching through Thomas' eyes now. He was in his apartment, his hands held together in his lap. His leg was bouncing up and down, he was contemplating something. I turned up the audio on his incoming thoughts. They were all coming from Wrath. "Do it." He said to Thomas. "You don't have anything to lose. Your channel is failing anyway. Rent is getting higher and higher. Might as well give up. Then, you live up to your real potential! To destroy or get destroyed." Thomas nodded and stood up. His hands were shaky but he took the idea.

I started smashing keys on the board. Trying to figure out the idea Wrath had just put into Thomas' head. When I found it, I let out a panicked scream.

Wrath had convinced Thomas to delete the channel!

This is fucking crazy! My heart was thumping. Pounding even. My hands started to press keys and buttons. Anything to let go of the idea. I was so panicked. I was so scared. I had to face it. Any idea I give to Thomas, Wrath can cancel out directly while he's in the Subconscious.

Wiping tears from my blurry eyes, I was still silently panicking. My side of the panel was dead. Without my aura, I'm useless. Doing anything on the others' panel wasn't doing much either. I knew only my panel would work for me, but course, it's broken.

It's broken...

Thomas is going upstairs to get his laptop. I don't even know if Thomas realizes what he's doing. Wrath could just be controlling him mindlessly. Without my aura, Thomas has no anxiety. I can't stop him.

I felt the room darken around me. I was scared. I had to admit it to myself. If I had just pushed Wrath into Limbo when I had the chance, this wouldn't be happening. Logan, Patton, and Roman would be here. With me. So would Deceit and Remus. Everything would be normal. Why am I such a fuck up?

My eyes sprang open, I didn't realize they were closed. A thought crossed my mind: how can Thomas have no anxiety, if I'm anxious right now? Maybe, I'm over thinking this. Or maybe I'm on to something. No, I have to be. I am Anxiety! Thomas doesn't just have a random amount of anxiety generated by my aura. No. I created my aura in the first place. It comes from me!

I turned to face the panel. Thomas was on his YouTube channel, mouse over the delete channel icon. I could stop this.

I heard the sound of wood breaking. Roman! He was breaking out. I looked at the stairs and saw him making his way down the stairs. I rapidly hit buttons on my panel. With each button I hit, my panel lit up more and more. I smiled as my plan worked. I looked back again, Roman was reaching out to grab me. I quickly hit the command button down.

Thomas stopped.

Roman stopped.

Everything seemed to stop.