Morning Blushes

chapter forty-nine

We graduated from our seniors five months ago. Now, everyone's off to college while I'm in the process of searching for my soul. It's not that easy. It's never a linear path yet still, I decide which way to go. 

Napangiwi ako nang makita ko ang message ni Navi right after my meditation. He's asking me to go to the cul-de-sac this early morning. Bahala siya sa buhay niya. I left my room and started my morning ritual which is walking outside for at least thirty minutes. Iniwan ko yung phone ko at lumabas ng bahay. I usually avoid my phone for one hour every morning just to appreciate everything around me. Practicing gratitude is a healthy exercise I ever did. I observed and try to find beautiful things that I can rely on today. The sun is about to rise. Unfortunately, I woke up first before it could bring joy to everyone.

Nung malapit na ako sa cul-de-sac, nakita ko si Navi and he's climbing two vertical walls side by side. And freaking heavenly dear, he is not wearing a freaking shirt. He's gonna land and do it again. Wala siyang kinakapitan and I just don't know how he does it. It is freaking insane. I mean, you have to go fast so you won't fall. My heart wouldn't stop drumming by just seeing him. Like, how? Man... just don't do that in front of me.

Navi has been busy these past few days so hindi ko siya gaanong nakakasama. Hindi ko na ginagambala dahil ngayon lang nagseryoso 'yan sa pag-aaral. I'm proud of him though. So proud. But hindi ko pinapansin dahil he's always talking about this girl in his college. Every freaking time we're together. 

I immediately hid behind a post-light and watched him do those techniques. I am completely aware that my cheeks are in a deep state of red now. Bakit naman kasi niya ako papapuntahin dito tapos wala pa siyang shirt? Is he crazy or what? Ang aga aga, sinisira niya ang kapayapaan ko.

After a bit more, he stopped. He picked up his phone at the dwarf wall, checked it before dropping it back. He looked at the walls he's climbing and I supposed he's analyzing it. He's slightly shaking his head then stared strongly at the two walls opposing each other. What a monkey. He then put his shirt back and checked his phone again. Nakahinga ako nang maluwag. Umalis na ako doon sa gilid ng poste at naglakad papalapit na parang hindi ako galing doon. At least I can finally breathe. 

I was frozen in my spot until he approached me. His disheveled hair is still slightly drenched from sweat. 

"Good morning, miss."

"Mm."

"Kanina ka pa d'yan?" he asked. 

"No." I shook my head. "Not at all." I took a quick gulp. "May sasabihin ka ba?"

Damn. He's hot.

Oh, Lord, this is not me thinking.

"Wait lang, galit ka pa rin sa'kin?"

I shook my head again with a shallow breath. "Hindi ako galit sa'yo to start with."

Like, hell no. I'm not even a girlfriend to be mad at him for being with another girl. He just kept talking about the girl every time we're together. Can't he take a hint that I don't want to hear anything about her anymore? God.

Napangisi siya. "Galit ka sa'kin e."

"Hindi nga," tanggi ko sa kanya. "Do you need something?"

"Sorry na, miss... I swear I'm not interested in Freira. Trust me, I told her to stop following me. I also turned her down and asked Arkiel to accompany her instead. Okay na ba?"

"Why are you explaining to me? I'm not saying anything." I looked away.

Okay. Just almost a month ago, I failed to deny that I don't feel anything at all. I accepted it because it's getting harder and harder to push away every time he's there. He noticed I'm getting quieter when I'm with him. But... it's just normal to have a crush on him as long as he doesn't know, right?