Morning Blushes

chapter fifty

"Good morning, miss."

I'm at the rooftop to get my dose of serotonin. Napasimangot ako nang makita si Navi na tinalon na naman ang daan niya papunta dito sa rooftop. He's even standing at the edge again. But I guess he's part of that dose. 

"How many times do I have to tell you..." I stopped because he is already grinning wide. 

"It's a great morning, Avyanna. Come closer. The sun is barely peeking but... look at those colors."

I stood up from my cozy couch and went near him. He's right. The first blushes of morning light are magnificent. 

He sat at the edge of the rooftop while I'm only leaning on it.  "Kapag nalaglag ka d'yan, Navi, ewan ko na lang sa'yo."

He just chuckled. "I've been standing at the edge of your rooftop for two years now. Kabisado ko na nga kung gaano kahaba yung daan ko papunta dito e." Then he looked at me. "Masaya dito, try mo."

"No way."

"Dali, akong bahala sa'yo."

Since I am too stupid to trust him enough, I followed him. He held my arm as I sit beside him. The view below is frightening but his arm wrapped around my waist made me feel less overwhelmed. 

I can't believe a lot of things happened to me since the day he came barging into my life two years ago. Those days were dark for me. I realized instead of revealing how much of a shithead he feels, he still chose to help me cope up and clean my mess. He was there all the way. He witnessed the most vulnerable I can be and yet, there he is. Right beside me. 

Navi has never been this complete. I can say Yeshua and him grew up really close. And, I witnessed that he's actually close to his father. Nakakatuwa lang na he seems like crepuscular rays shining through my face each and every morning. He is indeed a part of my daily dose of serotonin. My daylight. My sun.

I insisted to get out of there and sit in my nook instead. Umupo siya sa tabi ko and made himself comfortable. Humarap ako sa kanya and stared at him for a while.

"How was your day yesterday?" he asked. "Something nice happened, perhaps?"

I nodded at him. It's because I'm free from anti-depressants. I can let it go now. I'm improving. 

"Something good seemed to happen." He just smiled at me sweetly. "You wanna drop chandeliers tonight?"

A grin swiftly crawled up to my face. I nodded with a slight chuckle. "Make sure box five is empty."

--

I'm having a great breakfast with Mommy, Kuya Adriane, and Manang. I'm barely enjoying my breakfast since I'm planning how could I possibly tell Navi I am ready now. I want him to be mine already. I don't know how to tell him in a way he would get it and I don't know when. Kinakabahan ako na nawawalan ng gana kumain. 

What would it be like if we're together already? If I tell him that I like him even before he told me he does? I am quite sure he feels that too. I don't want him to feel like all his efforts are nothing. I don't want him to feel like he was waiting for nothing. And I think, his time has come. It's his turn now. 

 Ang saya-saya ng daydreaming ko dito when Kuya Adi dragged me in the endless conversation of embarrassment.

"Mom, bantayan mo nga 'yang si Yanna. May boyfriend na yata 'yan e."

"Hayaan mo 'yan, Adriane. Malaki na 'yan. Why don't you get a girlfriend?" Mommy chuckled.

"Look at her. She's smiling like stupid." Kuya Adi glared at me. "She's not even eating a bare minimum."