Morning Blushes

chapter forty-three

It has been three months. I was completely devastated, broken, alone, and desperate to be happy and collected. Hindi na kaya ng utak ko lahat ng iniisip ko. Sabay sabay silang lahat. How I messed up my first friendship, how every single one at school loathed me for a certain reason and threw me sharp words behind, how I found out that my life was a lie, and... there are a lot. It was painfully hard. 

I don't think it's a good choice to leave for a while kasi hassle sa school. But I badly need it, in my case. Lumipat ako papunta sa apartment ni Kuya Adriane and I complied with my classes there. Pinilit ko si Mommy na tapusin ko yung last three months of seniors. It's hard because I'm not used to it but my brother is there to guide me. Hindi ko alam na nandoon siya until Mommy told me. 

I am visiting a therapist in the metro weekly. I needed it and Mommy was so considerate. I thought she would disapprove because that would be a big shame to her but she's the one who set up an appointment with her friend. 

"Yanna, we're going home," sabi ni Kuya Adriane.

He's just chilling on the sofa while facing his laptop.

"Anong home?" naguguluhang tanong ko. "Uwi na tayo kila Manang?"

"Yes. You have to attend your graduation. And... I have to take several exams too."

I finished the cupcake I'm eating. Hindi ko na maalis ang tingin ko sa kanya. I've been waiting for this day to come. I really really miss my friends and Manang and Mommy and Navi.

Navi. I missed him so damn much. Iniisip ko kung galit siya sa'kin dahil hindi naman kami nag-uusap. He just sent me a message like Merry Christmas and Happy New Year but other than that, wala na. Nonetheless, I miss that damn fine guy.

"Kuya, when are we going home?" I asked after I gulped a full glass of water.

"Tomorrow. Pack your things ngayon na or tonight."

I quickly turned on my phone. Hinanap ko ang pangalan ni Lily. She stayed in touch kahit malayo ako sa kanya, even Jace and Calvin! So, I messaged Lily immediately.

Lily, omg, I'm going home tomorrow!

I rushed into my bedroom and pulled out my luggage. Naupo ako sa harap ng closet ko while waiting for Lily's reply. I'm arranging my clothes when my phone buzzed. Lily is calling. Pagkasagot ko, hindi pa ako nagsasalita nang marinig ko na ang ingay niya.

"Omg, Avy, I just squealed in the rehearsal room!" Bungad niya sa akin. "Sorry, everyone stopped when I received your message."

"You're rehearsing early in the morning?" Kumunot ang noo ko. 

"You know, this weekend na yung play. And I told Sir Maro pala na you're going home tomorrow. He wants you to perform after the play."

"Hala, why me?"

"Duh, Miss Jenna, you're the reason why we're having a play again. You basically made it possible for us nerds." I can imagine her rolling her eyes already.

"Bakit ako? Medina could perform after since she got the lead role this time."

"Well, of course, she'll get it because she fits the role. But, everyone's expecting you since ikaw yung nagpasikat ng stage play ng school natin."

"Where are you now? Tapos na rehearsals niyo?" I asked.

"Hindi. Maghapon 'to, I swear. Break lang. I mean kaka-break lang pero nasigaw ko na uuwi ka kaya tigil lahat."

I laughed when I suddenly heard Jace's voice. Inaway na naman ni Lily. 

"Lily, video call mo nga," I told her.