Dean X Reader Imagines

Safe (Dean X Reader)

Sam is like my brother but Dean is something different. I'm in love with him but he has no idea and I would like it to stay like that. We've been hunting all together since I was 10. At that time Dean was 12 and Sam was 8. They were there for me when my dad died and I was there when their dad died. But the hardest part was when Dean died. I was broken after his death but I had to take care of Sam. Keep him safe and on going. Something that I failed to do when Sam died. I couldn't keep Dean safe. I couldn't keep him away from the demon that he made a deal with. And now he is dead and it's my fault.

"Sammy? Wanna go for a case tomorrow?" I ask him "Sure, but I gotta to go. I'll be back tomorrow morning so we could leave, ok?" "You're girlfriend is looking for you?" I ask "She id not my girlfriend" "Sure" I say ironically "Bye" he says and kisses my head before he leaves the motel room.

I get up from the chair and I walk to the bathroom. After I shower, I get dressed and I look myself in the mirror. I see Dean's dead body. I never needed you (Y/N). You could never replace Sammy. You're nothing to me. Did you really think that you could replace my own brother?

It's like I can hear him. I failed him. I'm nothing to him. And Sam is probably acting, he doesn't like me either. That's why he is out most of the time. Congrats, you finally realized that you are nothing to them, the voice in my head said. I took a razor blade and I brought it close to my skin. You have no one. You are all alone. And with that the first cut was made. A couple more followed and then I put the blade inside the bag with my pads and tampons.

I go out of the bathroom, I put a hooded sweatshirt on and I lay on the bed. I text Sam 'Not feeling really good. You better go alone tomorrow' and with that I closed my eyes. I can't let myself cry, I'm not that weak I said to myself over and over again until I fell asleep.

One more month passed from Dean's death and I continued doing the same thing, so I could be strong for Sam. There were times that I heard Dean's voice in my head. He was complaining that I haven't cried for him. That I didn't care about his death. And that hurted me even more. Sam almost caught me one time but I was able to cover it up. He probably noticed that something was going on because I stopped going on most of the hunts but he hadn't said anything yet.

Sam was out tonight. He was out almost every night. I was planning on doing the same routine but my phone started ringing. It was an unknown number. "Hello?" "(Y/N), thank God, it's Dean' the voice in the other end says. It sounded so much like Dean, but there is no way this is Dean "No. And whoever this is, if you call again I'm gonna find you and kill you" I say and I hung up. I feel tears in my eyes. I run to the bathroom and I take the blade out of my bag. I make a deep cut in hand and I try to calm down. But it doesn't seem to work, so I make another one. And another one.

At some point I looked in the sink and it was covered in blood. I cleaned everything up and I went to bed. And then I heard the door open. I pretended to be asleep because I wasn't sure if I could convince Sam that I was ok. I felt him walking to me and he sat next to me. And that's when I felt a hand on my cheek. I jump up and I tackle him on the floor. "Woah, easy" "Dean?" I ask confused "Yeah" " No, this isn't possible. Who the hell are you?" I yell "It's me (Y/N)" he says but I don't believe him. "Test me" he says and I do.

Silver, holy water but no reaction. "See?" he says. "I'm sorry I failed you. I'm sorry I didn't cry after you died. I was trying to stay strong for Sam" and as I say that I feel his hands wrap around me. "It's ok. Thank you" he says and rubs my back. I pull away before any tear fall. "Oh God, Sam" I say and I grab my phone. I call him but there is no answer. "No, no, no" I say and I call him again. But again no answer. "No, no, no, no, he didn't" I say.

"What? (Y/N) what happened?" Dean asks worried "Sam is not answering. He should have maken a deal to get you back. No, no, no, this can't be happening again. He can't-- I should have protected him from this--" "(Y/N) calm down" "No, I shouldn't let him go out every night like that. I should be with him. I failed again. I am useless--" "(Y/N) calm down" Dean yelled. "I failed you and Sam again. I can't keep any of you safe" "What are you talking about (Y/N)?" "When Sam died, I couldn't keep you safe and now he probably made a deal too. I failed you. I shouldn't be here. I'm a disappointment. I-- I--" and with that I started getting dizzy. I was sunken into the darkness almost immediately.