Dean and I had broken up 9 years ago and never saw eachother again. Until last week. Because of a big nest we had to work together. The whole two days that we worked together bad memories and also guilt were in my mind all the time. So after we were done, I immediately got back to my motel room and wished that I never had to see him again. I gather my things quickly and I put them in my car.
"(Y/N) wait" I hear Dean say. I curse under my breath and I turn to him. "Come have a beer" he says and hands me a beer that he just pulled out of his car. "I'm fine" I say "Please, I want to talk to you" he says and I nod. I take the beer and I sit on the hood of his car. "I'm listening" I say. He sits next to me and I take a sip of my beer.
"I still care about you" he says "I know" I say not looking at him. "I was pregnant" I say "What?" "I was pregnant when we broke up" I say and he looks at me shocked. "Did you know before we..." "No. I found out two weeks later" "Why didn't you say anything? I had the right to know. Did you want go through this alone?" he asks pissed "You didn't want kids. You were clear about it. And what I wanted didn't matter anymore from the moment that test turned positive. I had to do the best for him" I say.
"Him?" he asks and I nod. I pull my wallet out of my pocket and I take out a small picture.
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"He was the best, smartest, sweetest and kindest little guy" I say and a tears start to form in my eyes. "Was?" he asks hurt and a tear escapes my eye. I wipe it quickly and I look down at my beer. "He liked jokes like the ones you liked and he also had a pretty good relationship with girls from early on. One day, after kindergarten, he told me that Kim told him that she likes him and kissed his cheek" I say. "(Y/N), what happened?" Dean asks.
"It was October 23th, Max had just eaten dinner and he was getting ready to go to sleep because he had school the other day. Gosh, he had just started 1st grade and he was so excited to go to school everyday but he was even more excited that night because the next day it was his 6th birthday. We had already planned his party for the next day's evening and he was making sure that everything was in place for his friends. He couldn't wait for his party" I say and more tears roll down my cheeks.
"So I finally convinced him to go to bed and then I went to sleep. But around 3am I woke up with a strange feeling in my chest. I had some of those here and there when he was sick because I was worried. So I get up and I walk to his room in order to check on him. I saw someone sitting on the bed next to him. And by the way, under the wooden floor and behind the wallpaper, I had painting every kind of protection symbol, multiple devil's traps, salt all around the perimeter of the house, silver knobs and doorbell. EVERYTHING!" I say pissed.
"I used protection for probably every monster. But I didn't think about hunters. I thought that I was in a quiet area, that I made sure no monster was near it so no hunter or any supernatural creature would come close to us" I wipe my tears "Well... I was wrong and I learnt that the hard way" I continue.
"Do you know who it was?" he asks fighting the tears that were in his eyes. I nod and I take a sip of my beer. "Tell me!" he says pissed which kinda scared me. "Your grandfather, Samuel" I say "No... It can't--" "Oh, it can. Bald guy, big alien ears, always angry. When he saw me standing against the doorframe, he smiled and stabbed Max right in the chest. I run to him immediately but he manages to drive the knife from Max's chest to his lower abdomen. He literally opened him up in front of me" I say. I started crying even more at that point.
"The only thing I was grateful of is that he was asleep and didn't suffer. But that image won't ever get out of my head" I say crying. I look at Dean and his eyes were full of tears and he had that fighting-to-stay-strong face one. But a single tear rolls down his cheek. I get up and I throw my bottle on the ground angry, breaking it into small pieces. "Why? Tell me why did he do that? Why did he have to take the only good thing I had in my life?" I ask pissed.
"Revenge" Dean says "What?" I ask "He wanted to take revenge for his daughter, my mom. He thought that this way he'll hurt me like Sam and I did, because he blamed us for our mom's death, but he didn't think about the possibility that I didn't even know about that kid" he says "I'm sorry" I say "No. It was my fault" he says and gets up from the hood too. "Can I keep this?" he asks showing me Max's photo that he hand in his hands. "Yeah. I have more in my bag" I say "Thanks" he says and gets in the car immediately.
"I'm gonna go to his grave right now. You can follow if you want to" I say. He nods "Ok. Where are we headed?" he asks "Lawrence Kansas" I say and I go to my car. ______________
In all the way I was thinking that there is no turning back now. It's happening and it hurts so bad. I'm a horribleperson. He wanted to be a dad and I took that opportunity from him.
I park outside the graveyard and Dean does too. I look to the right direction and I take a deep breath in order to calm down a bit. "Are you ok?" he asks me "No. Follow me" I say and I start to walk.
We reach Max's grave and I kneel down. "Hi baby. I brought you someone that I should have told you about a long time ago. It's daddy" I say as a few tears roll down my cheeks. I wipe my tears and I look back at Dean. "I can leave if you want" I say "No, stay" he says and I nod.
He kneels next to me and looks at Max's photo. He wipes his tear and takes a deep breath. "After what happened that night, I was working nonstop in order to track down Samuel and when I finally did, Sam had already killed him" I say "If I knew, I would have been the one to kill him and I would do it really slow" he says. "He wasn't even supposed to be alive" he continues "Crowley brought him back for his own benefit" he says "And where is Crowley now?" I ask "Dead" "Good" "No. I can't believe that I'm saying this, but he died to protect us from Lucifer" he says.
Dean wipes a tear from his cheek and takes my hand. "I'm sorry I wasn't there. I'm sorry I let you go through all this alone" he says "No, Dean, this isn't your fault. I kept him from you" I say "Yes but I was the one who said that I didn't want kids and then broke up with you" he says.
"Last time I saw you, you were a jerk fuck boy that didn't really cared for anyone except his family and now... do you always think that everything is your fault?" I ask "Most of the time yes" he says "You have changed a lot" I say and he just nods.
"Max has asked about his dad a few times and I always told him that he is working and then he would ask what is he doing. I didn't want to lie to him so I would say that he is on a secret mission. And he was getting all excited and proud of his dad. He loved you even if he had never met you" I say "Thank you. You did better than both of us would do" he says "No. If I did, we wouldn't be here" I say.
I kiss my fingers and I place them on his name on the gravestone. "I'll go have a drink" I say and I leave "Can I come by later?" he asks. I stop and I turn around. "Sure. I'll be at the bar two blocks away from here" I say and he nods. _______________
About an hour later Dean came in the bar and sat down next to me. "Two shots and an old fashioned" he says to the bartender. The bartender places them in front of Dean and immediately Dean passes a shot to me. "To Max" Dean says "To Max" I say and we drink the shots. "I'll probably need a bottle of these" I say and he chuckles "Make them two" he says and I chuckle.
"I still care about you too" I say. He keeps his gaze down to his glass and nods. "I'm willing to make this right this time if you agree" he says "I would love to make it right this time" I say. He looks at me and smiles. I smile back and he takes my hand. He places his hand on my cheek and pecks my lips softly. He hugs me and rubs my back. "I'm here if you need more photos or information on how he was, who he looked more alike, what he liked, wh--" I say fast "I appreciate it" he says.
He smiles but it's real clear that he is hurting. I hug him "I'm sorry I didn't tell you" I say "I'm sorry I wasn't there" he says. He pulls away and kisses my lips. He kisses me softly and passionate. "I love you" we both say at the same time. He wraps his arm around my shoulders and lets me lay my head on his shoulder.
