Nacho Average One Direction Story

To Bang or to Hang: That is the Question

LIZZ MAYBERRY POV

Garth: Let's bang

Garth: I mean hang

Garth: No, I mean bang

Garth: Why aren't you here going through this torture with me

Garth: Wake up

Garth: Save me

Garth: All these people, can't find bae

Garth: Because she's sleeping in my bed

Garth: That sounded dirty

Garth: But I know you smiled

Garth: Because I'm hilarious

Garth: Rehersals suck

Garth: Maybe I should hand in my resignation to the world for being a singer

Garth: Maybe I was never destined for fame

Garth: Maybe I was supposed to be a farmer in Australia with a quick temper and an alcohol dependency

Me: Maybe you're just a whiney bitch.

Garth: Elizabeth, don't take that tone with me

Me: Sorry Harebear

Garth: Guess what I'm doing right now

Me: Twidiling your thumbs.

Garth: No, but you get seven points for using twidling

Me: Are you making a ring out of clay for me?

Garth: Nope

Me: This conversation is going nowhere. I can't believe I woke up from my blissful nap for this.

Garth: I am just freaking sitting here on an amp. Doing nothing.

Me: Waou da lyfe uf ae poop ster iz ser herd!!!1111

Garth: Lyz mie lyfe i$ plunty hurd erkay?¿

Me: Whew, our first fight. Glad it was over quickly.

Garth: Why do I like you

Me: I ask myself that a lot.

Garth: Your mom is paying me to spend time with you

Me: That's what I figured.

Garth: Sorry you had to find out this way

Me: I'm not even surprised.

Garth: They payed me extra to take you to the UK

Me: Those bastards.

Garth: You're more grumpy-old-man-ish today than usual

Me: I'm fine.

Garth: That's you're lying voice

Me: I'm texting you. There isn't a voice.

Garth: But I know that you're lying

Me: How's that?

Garth: Because I just do

Me: That's a creepy superpower

Garth: But you're lying.

Me: Yes.

Garth: Elizabeth, tell me immediately

Me: I'm moody, you know? Like I just don't feel like doing anything.

Garth: I'll be there soon.

Me: God, no, Harry. Don't leave reversals early I don't need anything!

Garth: Too late, I'm coming home anyway.