Nacho Average One Direction Story

Revelations Part II Part 2

Tuesday

HARRY STYLES POV

"You make everything so much better, Harry. You keep me alive. I hope you know that."

I hadn't realize I was tearing up until Lizz laughed and wiped them from my cheeks. "Stop crying. I'm the emotionally unstable one. That's my job."

"I'm not crying," I told her but my voice gave me away. "Finish your story," I commanded and winced when my voice broke again.

"Let's sit back down again," she suggested and led me back to the folding chairs but the dusty cardboard boxes. "Well there are a few things I have to say. One," she grinned. "Nothing in the world feels as good as a whole stadium chanting "USA USA USA" when you know you've won. Nothing better than seeing your flag being raised. And nothing better than seeing thousands of Americans put their hands on their hearts with you as the National Anthem plays. No better feeling. I'm sure you understand somewhat from performing, but boy. This was like no other." I smiled because I did to some extent understand and she was right. There wasn't a better feeling anywhere.

"Second, I want you to know that I didn't completely give up on my life. I learnt to go to pieces alone. I didn't want to make Zac or the Ryder's or my family to suffer with me." I remembered Zac was Lizz's very best friend in Colorado. The night before he left for college, they got in a big row and haven't talked since. "I pretended to be tough. And pretending helped a bit. Because I was taught from before I could talk that when life knocks you down, you can't just lay on the ground. You have to get up, smile politely, and tell life it hits like a little bitch."

I laughed along with her at the advice. "That's great!" I choked out between laughs. "I'm going to use that on the lads sometime."

"I'm confused as to why you never looked me up on the Internet if you knew there was something off with me," Lizz said and looked at me curiously.

I shrugged. "I looked you up on Youtube that one time. I figured if you didn't have any videos posted on there you must not be famous."

"My dad is an exec of Youtube. He had all the videos under my name changed to be under the name "Biz Merrylay". Zac had called Biz since we were in diapers, that's where he got the idea of the name from. My dad couldn't legally remove the videos, so he just changed the key words so they wouldn't come up in searches."

"That makes sense I guess."

"You know I've always been scared of having a boyfriend because everything around me gets broken. I don't want to break my heart. Or him, I guess," she laughed. I unconsciously though of one person who would never break her heart. But it wasn't like that with us, so I pushed the thought from my mind.

"Do you mind?" I asked Lizz as I gestured to the boxes.

"Go for it. I'm surprised how much it helps to actually talk about it with someone finally."

There were four boxes. The first was filled with shoes, jerseys, small baggies, and a piece of metal. "Several pairs of warm-up shoes, several pairs of high jump shoes, my track jerseys I've accumulated, extra spikes for my shoes. I held up the small piece of metal. Guilt crossed her face.

"You didn't," I said, though I knew immediately that she had.

"That is part of the standard bar that ended my life. I went to the track in the middle of the night and didn't leave until I had a piece of the standard I'd hit my head on. I shouldn't be laughing. I remember how bruised my hands were and how suspicious my parents were when I returned in the middle of the night with a bunch of odd tools and a small shiny piece of metal."