xplr ; colby brock

too good

adelaides point of view

november 4th

we were back home from our camping trip and my ankle was doing a lot better. it still hurt to walk on but i was fine at this point.

we were all just hanging out in the living room, watching back the edited footage from a haunted hotel we had stayed at, brought to us by mr colby brock.

i was laying with colby on the couch. colby was drinking along with sam, corey and jake but us girls were (shockingly) not drinking.

at around 11, i announced that i was tired so i got off of the couch. colby jumped up beside me and helped me up the stairs to make sure i wasn't putting too much weight on my foot.

we eventually got up to our room and i immediately just layed down in bed. i was exhausted.

colby layed next to me and turned on parks and recreation. one of our favorites. i stayed up for the first episode and then fell asleep.

i felt movement beside me so i opened my eyes and noticed colby was laying awake.

he had the tv muted so i wouldn't wake up. my heart 🥺

i noticed that his eyes were bloodshot like he had been crying.

"baby? are you okay? it's 5am, you should be asleep." i asked him, sitting up slightly so i could look at him.

"um... yeah babe, yeah. i'm fine. just go back to bed." he told me.

"were you crying? what happened bub?" i asked him.

"it's nothing adelaide." he said with raspiness evident in his voice

"baby. please talk to me." i said, tearing up at the fact that he was upset. i sat the rest of the way up in bed and faced him.

"just go back to bed, beautiful." he said

"i'm not sleeping till you tell me what's wrong." i huffed out.

"fine." he said, sitting up and flipping the lamp on his side on. "i don't know.... i guess i just feel bad."

"what do you mean?" i asked him

"i mean about cheating on you. i don't think i've ever regretted anything so much. i don't know how i did that to you." he said, pausing

"i didn't tell you this because i didn't want you to think differently of me but after we broke up, i went to therapy because i couldn't sleep. i was sleeping maybe a half an hour at most a night because all i would do was cry and feel bad for you. they had to put me on sleeping pills but i ran out of them so i haven't been sleeping the last couple of nights." he finished

"baby, i never want you to feel like that. yes, i was devastated when it happened but i learned to deal with it and now that we're back together, i don't even think about it. don't beat yourself up over it." i said, pushing hair out of his cute lil face

"but adelaide i turned into my biggest fear. i always said being cheated on was something i was terrified of and then i did it to you. i just feel so bad about it." he said, making my heart shatter.

"baby i don't want you to beat yourself up over it. i'm not upset anymore, okay? it happened and it's over with. we can't go back in time but at least we're together now. there is nothing we can do about it but i promise you i'm not mad." i said, leaning in to hug him.

i never realized that he was having such a hard time with our breakup. i felt bad about it because i do love him and i never want him to hate himself because of something that happened between us in the past.