Dirty Duty || TAEJIN ☑️

Vulnerable

Jungkook:

Hyung, Jin shot himself. He's at Seoul Hospital. Come, please. Now.

I immediately run outside my bedroom and run downstairs after I received the text message coming from Jungkook. Grabbing my jacket and my car key. I still can't believe it. Jin is a tough guy. This can't be. Why would Jin resort to suicide?

Why did you do that Jin?!

Arriving at the hospital, I saw Jungkook in the waiting area, his face in his hands. His top covered in blood.

"What the fuck happened Jungkook?!" I asked. Jungkook's eyes are puffy. Tears still falling from his eyes.

"He shot himself Hyung. On the head." Jungkook said. Stammering and sobbing.

I run my fingers through my hair. Walking back and forth at the hallway. A nurse came out asking us to come inside.

He's dying.

That's all I heard.

Jin is dying.

I saw him being revived by the doctors. I can hear the machines working for my Seokjin. The beep is long and deafening.

He's going flat line.

The doctors stopped and sighed. He looked at the clock.

Time of death, 2:00 am. The doctor muttered.

Jin looks peaceful. I can even see a faint smile on his lips.

But why Jin?

You should have not left.

You should have let me explain.

You should have talked to me.

Why did you take your own life?
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"FUCK!!!" I jerked. Waking up from a bad dream is not the best way to open my eyes. I felt tired and incredibly exhausted. Panting, I removed the blanket from me. My hair is damp. I'm sweating profusely.

I looked at the crib beside my bed. Taejin still sleeping soundly. Our child should grow up with a complete family. Never with me alone. It should be with me and Jin.

I stood up. Dialing Jungkook's number. Taejin's nanny will arrive tomorrow morning. I cannot leave Taejin alone. But I need to find Jin now. Jin and I should talk.

****

Jungkook

"Shittt Jin NO!" I grabbed Jin's hand when I saw the gun against his temple. Jin pulled the trigger and it hit a tree. "Give that to me!"

"No! Fuck off Jungkook! Leave me alone! I want to die!" Jin cried as we fight over the gun. He keeps on pointing it to himself. He keeps on kicking my shin to stop me from grabbing on to the gun.

"Fuck Jin give it to me!" I yelled as I tried to pull the gun away. But Jin's grip is so tight he managed to pull the trigger and the bullet hits the ground. "Damn it! Let it go! Give it to me!"

"Let me die Jungkook. let me die!!" He screamed.

"Are you fucking crazy? I won't let you die! Give the gun to me Jin! Now!!!"

Finally, he kneeled down as his grip loosen. He may not be physically exhausted but he is emotionally tired. I managed to pull the gun and toss it away. "What the hell are you doing?!"

Jin just cried. Cries when you can feel his pain and misery. He looks weak. With his face in his hands, I kneeled down beside him. I wrapped him tightly in my arms. Like the way, we used to. I kissed his forehead. I want him to feel safe in my arms. I don't want him to feel any more pain. It's been too much for him. Just too much.

"You'll be okay Jin. Everything will be alright." I whispered to him as he put his arms around my waist and bury his face on my neck. Like a little boy asking for love and comfort. I can feel my neck getting wet from his tears. My Jinnie is so vulnerable.

"Please don't do that. Killing yourself is not a solution Jin. Many people love you. Many people care for you. I..." I paused for a moment. "I l-love you Jin. I always do. Please always remember that. I care for you. I don't want you to die."

Jin cried more. Maybe he wanted to take away all the pains he's feeling now. Through crying and screaming. I just let him cry on my shoulder. I will never get tired of comforting him.

I bring him to my apartment to let him sleep well so I can look after him carefully. He's very quiet. I wanted to know what's in his mind right now. I gave him a hot chocolate drink before sitting beside him. And possibly, have him talk.

"Do you want to say something Jin? You want to talk about something? You can always talk to me." I asked.

No answer.

"You want me to take you to Jimin? Or you want me to call Jimin so he can accompany you here?" I asked again.

He shook his head. "I wanted to be alone."

"I'm sorry but I cannot leave you alone. Not now." I insist.

Jin looked at me. His eyes are unhappy. "Do you love me Jungkook?"

His question caught me off guard. "Of course Jin, I love you."

"Then why did you allow me to go that night that I got shot?"

I sigh. I don't know why he's bringing that up. But I understand that he's in pain right now. All he can think of are bad memories. "Jin I'm furious that time. You know me when I'm angry."

"If you love me you will not get angry at me."

"Then why are you angry now at Taehyung?" I know I should have not said that but Jin is talking and thinking incorrectly right now. I know he's not thinking normally. "Jin, please. We all have our own ways to deal with anger. I know I should have helped you instead of letting you go but I am just human Jin. I felt betrayed. It hurts me that my own brother had thoughts of using me for his father's gain. That's painful Jin."

"Love doesn't mean you're not supposed to get angry. You get mad and then you understand. I know it's too late because you already went missing. But we all look for you. Jin please, this is not you. You're not like that. You don't think like that. You are logical. You are smart. You know why it happened."

Jin cried again. "I'm sorry Hyung. I'm just so down right now. I felt alone. I felt deserted. Nobody cares about how I feel. I don't have parents. I don't have a partner. I don't have a family. I only have my son whom I cannot even raise. I felt worthless."

I hug him. I hate seeing him crying. "You have me. You have Jimin and Hoseok. You have Taehyung. We are your family now. We're here for you. Please don't you ever think you are alone. Please Jin, let's move on. Don't make yourself a prisoner of your past."

"Taehyung doesn't love me. He has someone in bed apart from me."

"Jin, the more you should talk with Tae. To clear everything up once and for all. But right now, you should rest. Come on, drink this first. I'll get some clothes so you can take a warm shower and change." I stood up as I can feel my phone vibrating from my pocket. I know it's Taehyung.