Rebecca and Annette spoke for hours that night, there were lots of what ifs, lots of tears and lot of stories about when Annette found out she was pregnant for the first time.
She spoke to her father about it as well, he was not happy, he was upset more at the fact that his daughter was pregnant and not married or even in a relationship with the father.
She spoke to her brother, who was just as angry if not more angry than his father. That was his baby sister and she was having a baby out of the blue and putting her entire career on hold.
These conversations didn't help Rebecca's thoughts at all, if anything it made her even more doubtful, and made her solidify her decision to end the pregnancy.
Annette agreed to take her daughter to the clinic the following week. Even though she refused to go in and didn't want her daughter to go ahead with this, she offered to take the baby and raise it for her, she talked about adoption, she gave her daughter every option she could possibly think of but Rebecca was hearing none of it.
She sat in the waiting room by herself and scrolled through her phone, she saw Colby's contact and took a deep breath. She wasn't going to tell him, it wouldn't do anything if she called and told him but make him angrier with her if that was even possible, it wasn't like he could get there and stop her before she went through with it.
She was just going to go through with it and get her life back on track, she was going to recover and go back to normal like nothing happened.
Even if it did cost her Colby, she knew she had to do what was best and in her head this is what was best, she wasn't ready to have a baby, she wasn't able to raise a baby or even love another person.
"Rebecca?" a nurse poked her head out the door into the waiting room and she stood up and took a deep breath and walked towards the nurse "How are you today?" she asked and Rebecca nodded and kept silent she wasn't in the mood for small talk
She was led to a room and given a gown to put on and then she was instructed to open the door after she was changed so the nurse would know she was ready.
She took her time taking her jacket off and then her clothes and placing her hair up in a bun on the top of her head, she took her time putting the gown on and hesitated as she opened the door and then moved back to the exam table and sat down carefully.
She looked around at the pictures on the walls, a few pictures of newborn babies, a few charts of things she didn't want to know what they meant or described. She looked at the tools that sat on a little rolling cart next to the table, she had done her research, she knew what happened during abortions because she had researched it so much in the last few days and specifically in the last few hours.. but seeing the instruments in person was a completely different feeling.
After waiting for five minutes the nurse came in and placed the chart down on the counter
"Like we discussed on the phone it is a requirement for our clinic to perform an ultrasound just to be sure you are indeed pregnant, and to be sure you are in the window for us to perform the procedure after" she explained and Rebecca nodded "You've signed the consent forms in the waiting room but you have the right to tell us to stop at any part of this and we legally have to stop" she continued and Rebecca nodded once more "I'm going to start the ultrasound if you'd lay back for me" she said and Rebecca followed the instructions
Rebecca refused to look at the screen, she didn't want to see it, she just wanted to get this over with.
"You are in the window" the nurse nodded "11 weeks 2 days" she said and Rebecca's eyes widened as she heard that news but she shook her head and didn't let it get to her "Baby is healthy from the looks of it" she said and Rebecca felt tears forming in her eyes and suddenly she heard the steady thumping fill the room "That's the heartbeat" the nurse said and that's what broke her, she broke down and let the tears fall as she finally looked at the screen and she was instantly mesmerized as her eyes focused on the screen and her jaw dropped
"Oh my god" she said in barely a whisper "Look at it" she said with a small smile on her face "It's moving" she said
"It is" the nurse nodded "It's normal for babies at this stage to move, even though you can't feel it yet I can assure you it is probably constantly moving in there" she explained "Also even though you can't feel it, baby can feel you.. if you press your hand down lightly you can watch what happens" she said and Rebecca followed the instruction and pressed lightly on her lower abdomen and she saw the baby respond to the pressure by kicking its little legs furiously and moving its tiny arms
"Wow" she said in a whisper
"You're 11 weeks and 2 days, which puts your due date at January 11th of next year if you choose to continue" she informed and Rebecca nodded
January 11th, 19 days before her birthday, that was one connection and the the 11th.. it had to be the 11th.. somebody in this world had a weird sense of humor, 11 was her number and somehow this baby was now connected to that number.
"I'm going to go get the doctor and we will start the procedure" the nurse said as she stood up
"Wait" Rebecca said and she sat up and she looked at the screen where the picture of the baby was frozen "No" she shook her head "I can't do it" she said
"Are you sure?" the nurse questioned and Rebecca nodded
"I can't" she shook her head and the nurse nodded with a small smile
Rebecca got dressed quickly, grabbed the pictures that the nurse printed out and left on the counter and made her way out of the office.
Once out of the office she quickly made her way to the restroom and threw up, she hadn't thrown up the entire time but now something clicked in her and it was relentless.
She leaned against the stall as she sat on the ground and tears fell from her eyes
"What did I almost do to you?" she questioned as she placed her hand on her abdomen "I'm so sorry" she apologized "I know you probably haven't felt very loved by me in the last week and a half" she shook her head "I'm sorry but that all changes right now" she said with a small smile "Watching you move around in there was the best thing ever" she pressed slightly and she could picture the baby moving under her hand and she smiled before the smile faded and she felt herself become nauseous again "Is this your way of punishing me now?" she questioned and the nausea was now unbearable before she threw up once more "Okay fine" she nodded "You win" she smiled slightly "but don't get used to that"
If anybody would have walked past the door and heard her speaking to no-one they would have surely thought she was insane, but she wasn't talking to no-one, she was talking to her baby.
June 24th - 11 weeks
