Nathaniel

Chapter 2 [Edited]

Nate

As the fur trees and road signs flew past the car, my mind was working ten to the dozen. I couldn't help but let my mind wander far away from this cursed car journey. It was almost torture. I needed to know if other people thought their lives were as shit as mine. I was now in a crap mood, and I might feel better knowing that other lives were worse than mine.
No one truly knows what is going on in my life, as much as I don't know what's going on in theirs. I always thought I knew what was going on in my friends lives, but in the back of my mind, I knew that what I know about them is what they want to tell me- even then I don't know if that's the full truth.
My dad had once told me that those who wear their smiles widest may have felt the worst pain and those who's eyes shine the brightest may have shed the most tears. This was definitely true for me. Nobody truly knew about my past or my present. I didn't even know it fully, myself.

As far as my future goes, it wasn't looking very bright.

I'd always imagined myself being a mechanic working on motorbikes and cars- ever since I was a little boy as I sat on the workbench in the garage, watching my dad work on his red motorcycle. And ever since then, I discovered my love working on mending abandoned, broken machinery to make them golden idols again. One day, I hoped to work at the local garage helping people to fix their broken vehicles. It was an honest trade but one which my mother wouldn't approve of. Not that I was wanting her approval for anything anytime soon.
But through my dreams, I never saw myself with anyone other than myself. I didn't need them to pressure me into a relationship where I would be unhappy and caged like a bird. I'd seen what had happened with my parents. I wasn't going to let that happen to me.

I still had past relationships, but none of them lasted very long. I was too cold and they were too uncomfortable with it. I was destined to be alone.
And I was fine with it.

"Nathaniel. Stop with this absentminded behaviour. I didn't raise you to be so ignorant. I asked you a question."
"I'm sorry. Can you please repeat yourself?" The words were so foreign from my mouth. It tasted so bitter and unfamiliar. I didn't like it.
My mother is the only person who ever managed to evict this terminology from my throat.
And I only complied to avoid an argument.

I never said please, never said thank you, and was never ever polite. Even to my past partners. They just had to get used to my ways, though most of them dumped me before they could.

"I asked what your opinion on going to Miller and Carter's steakhouse is?"
"That sounds wonderful. I'm sure Lewis will be delighted." Lewis, my younger brother, loved his steak- more than any other food. It was his favourite place to eat. I didn't understand it personally, I was more of a McDonald's kind of guy when I was his age. Still am honestly.
My mother hummed in reply, her eyes fixed on the road ahead, her hands stuck at 10 and 2 on the steering wheel.
"Lewis has missed you. Not that I understand why. And I'm guessing you've missed him too." I scoffed. Here we go...
"He's my brother. Of course we're going to miss each other. But I wouldn't have to miss him if I could stay home. With him and my dad."
"You know why you can't stay with us anymore. I can't deal with your insolence. And I don't want your father turning against me because of your actions."
"More like your violence and neglect." I mumbled under my breath, knowing that if she heard me, I'd be right back where I started when I was 10.
"I want you on your best behaviour today. Lewis doesn't need a bad influence."
"Yes mom." I reluctantly agreed- I was always on my best behaviour around her.

It didn't take much longer until we pulled onto the gravel driveway  to the glorious house. Ivy climbed the walls round the doors and windows to the thatched roof. Rose bushes lined the walls of the front garden and the blue front door had yellow flowers painted to accentuate the windows.