Nathaniel

19

Aidan pov

The care home Nathan lives at is great- it really is. Jacob's the sweetest little boy I've ever met. We get on like a house on fire.
He was abused like me, but unlike me he had the smarts to escape before it became too late. I became so used to the constant pain and the unpredictability of my dad that it became normal and I didn't want to- couldn't- leave of my own free will. Now that the fear fuelled adrenaline has worn off and I'd had a chance to think, I realise what I went through wasn't normal, it was wrong and I shouldn't have accepted what he did to me day in and day out. As the years after my mother left, the violence increased and rarity of my dad and I sharing a good day decreased so much that I couldn't see the carefree, loving man behind his alcohol stricken eyes anymore. That man was gone and with him was my chance for a normal childhood.
I don't resent my mum for leaving. She wouldn't be strong enough to live with my dad. I'd taken most of her beatings for her when she was around. I was only young but I was fiercely loyal and would do anything to protect my mum. My father eventually got fed up with me for coming in between them and locked me in my room whilst he dealt with her. I could hear her gut wrenching cries from behind the locked door and I tried everything to get out and help her. She left that day. I watched out my window as she dragged a packed bag out the door towards her car and drive off, never to come back.
I'd looked after dad since then and I can't help but wonder: who's going to look after him now that I've gone?

Once we'd made it 'home', I'd crashed. All my energy had ran out and I couldn't hold back the tears that had been building up for years. I cried for everything I'd lost. My childhood. My home. My family. Everything I'd dreamed of since my mum had left. The closest thing to a family I'd found was Nathan. He's been my lifeline the past few days whilst I fought my biggest demons. I've cried on his shoulder for hours whilst he just sat there, rubbing circles on my back, whispering sweet nothings in my ear to calm me. He is the best boyfriend I could ever ask for.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Nate asked me when we were cuddling on the small sofa in Nate's room, watching some tv show he likes.
"I-I can't stay here Nate. My dad needs me."
"He doesn't need you. The only thing he needed you for was a punching bag. If I let you go back there, I'll be as bad as him."
"But I feel so guilty. I'm here, and I'm not allowed to help him cook the dinner or clean the house or- or"
"Shh. You deserve to put yourself first Aid. You don't need to do anything for that man anymore. He's not your burden. Don't let him be."
"I'm sorry." He shook his head.
"You and Jacob are so similar, it's unbelievable. Neither of you can stand to care for yourselves- only for everyone else. You both apologise for things that you shouldn't have to apologise for and I don't understand what makes you think that it's okay to be treated the way you are. For once, please, don't think about him and only focus on getting better and moving forward with your life."
I'm sorry. "Okay."
"Okay. I love ya Aidan." He said with a kiss on my forehead.
"I love you too."

Nathan lifted me off the sofa and onto the middle of his bed gently. I let him lift off my T-shirt and discard it somewhere in the room. He kissed a scar by my collar bone, one I received for burning my dads toast, metaphorically kissing away the pain.
He went lower, kissing a bruise on my rib. That one I was given a few weeks ago for arriving home after my dad. A gentle kiss was placed to my abdomen and my hip, each one being relieved of the pain.

That evening, all my grief was relieved by my loving boyfriend Nathaniel.