Nathaniel

14

Aidan pov

I had been so petrified of Nathan and what he might say to me all morning. I was scared he'd reject me after thinking logically overnight. No one would want a friend with scars and a haunting life. Let alone a boyfriend. That's why I tried to avoid him- I didn't want to face the truth. The last few days had been a dream. I'd fallen in love with Nathan but I could never admit it to him. It would be a resounding no if I ever worked up the courage to ask him out.

I loved Nate. I wasn't sure whether my heart was tugging for something to give me joy in my life or whether I truly did love him. I could even love him as a friend.

I'd managed to survive a lesson of maths with Nathan's stares at the back of my head but I was too wrapped up in my thoughts to notice. I was holding myself together pretty well until I realised I'd have to go home. Then I couldn't hold the tears back. They flowed down my cheeks faster than I could wipe them away. My breath became heavy and I started to feel lightheaded. This was a panic attack. Calm down. Count 3 things you can touch, 2 you can see and something you can hear. Come on Aidan. You can do this. You can be calm again. I really hoped Nathan wouldn't see.
As soon as the bell rang I bolted for the toilet to try and calm myself down without the prying eyes of fellow students.

Darwin's theory of evolution. Speciation. Why do we have to learn biology. The only biology I need to know is how to avoid any infections from wounds. And I already knew how to do that.
"Aidan! Will you quit running off so I can talk to you?" Nathan slammed his hand into the table next to me making me jump out my skin and whimper through fear. Nate was angry. And people got violent when they are angry.
"I'm sorry. Don't hurt me. Please..." My pathetic cry for help never worked but I tried anyway.
"What? I'm not going to hurt you Aidan. Ever." He looked gravely serious which made me cower away even more.
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. Please just talk to me."
"I can't..." Truth was, I didn't want to.
"Why? I can help you Aid. I'm worried about you."
"I don't deserve help." That was the truth. My father told me this most days. And I believed him.
"That's a load of bull. Of course you deserve help! No one deserves to be beaten!" I knew this but what could I do about it.
"Please stop Nathan. You can't help. I love you too much t-" Oh Shit. I clamped my hand over my big mouth to stop myself revealing anything else. I still hadn't worked out whether I loved Nate as a boyfriend. "Nathan. I'm so sor-"
Before I could say any more, Nathan attached his lips to mine.

The kiss was better than I could've ever imagined. All our raw emotion released through our short show of affection. All the butterflies in my stomach from my nerves fluttered wildly before dissipating entirely. All too soon he pulled away, a smile plastered on his face, and I'm sure I did too. Swiftly, I was pulled into Nate's strong embrace.
"I love you Aid. Remember that."
"Nathan?"
"Will you be my boyfriend?" I was all I could do was nod, tears of joy rolling down my face.