Nathaniel

Chapter 3 [Edited]

Nate

What caused her to snap?" Rob asked me whist I iced my cheek, leaning against the kitchen countertop back at my care home.
Rob had picked me up in the van pretty quickly- as if he had been sat at the phone with his keys in hand, ready to pick me up.

"She saw my tattoos. I didn't mean for her to see them. I had just rolled up my sleeves to help Lewis with some baking. My mom never liked the idea of a tattoo, let alone a sleeve. I went against her and she lost it." She hadn't got as violent as I'd been expecting, but I suppose that was because Lewis was in the room. "She just don't understand who I am and that it's not going to change. Just because I'm not as well mannered as she wants, it doesn't mean I don't care and don't have a heart. I'm a good kid Rob. I just like my friends too much to leave them."

I'd fallen in with the wrong crowd a few years ago- a couple weeks after I'd gone into care. They were 2 years older than me but welcomed me with open arms. They had introduced me to tattoos and underage drinking and smoking, all in aid of trying to mellow me out. It really was a vicious cycle but one which I enjoyed thoroughly. I had my first drink at 11- a whiskey my friends had stolen from the local shop. I'd started smoking in the school toilets at 12 and took drugs on my 13th birthday.

Darren, Damien and Hunter were you're typical motorcycle riding, heartbreaker, hot as hell bad boys but accepted my quiet self when I felt alone and confused. They've changed me- whether that be for better or for worse. At least I was no longer as quiet or as timid as I used to be- I wasn't afraid of the repercussions for breaking the rules. Not anymore.

The first time I'd told them my situation, I'd thought they would reject me. Shut me out- Hunter was never one for drama or theatrics. Whenever someone had cried he mocked them for being drama queens. That's why I was planning on never telling them about my life. I cried so much just thinking about it in the first few months that I was petrified Hunter and the guys would abandon me. But they'd done the complete opposite.

"What's on your mind kiddo?" Hunter asked from the other side of the picnic blanket. He could probably see the angst and upset on my face. It was my 11th birthday and little over 2 months since I had first been dumped into care. I was struggling to cope with the disastrous days had with my family on my birthday, my mind now wandering all over the place because of it. Mostly to all the memories of my mum's anger, clouding what should have been a great day.
My friends decided to surprise me with a picnic in the local park- not really their style but something they knew I would enjoy. At least they had their alcohol to make it better. "Nate?"
"I uhh. It's complicated." I looked down at the grass, pulling the blades from the dirt.
"Hey. You can tell us. We won't judge. Promise." Darren added, knocking my shoulder with his.
"It's just. Um. 2 months ago I was, well, I was put into care. My mum she- she hit me a lot. It wasn't just like the odd disciplinary hit over my bum anymore. It got to the point where my dad had to step in so that she wouldn't knock me out... I was with them today and I thought the break might have changed her. A little anyways. But it hasn't." I rolled up one sleeve to reveal nail marks in my wrist. I rubbed the sore spots. "I don't know what to do. I can't be myself around her but I can't be who she wants me to be either. I... I... " Curling up, I wept into my knees, feeling stupid for being so weak in front of my friends. "I feel so stupid. I should've known my mum wouldn't change. It's my fault she has to get so angry. I'm.. I" I cried harder, soaking my jeans.
Hunter held me tight, wrapping me up in his leather jacket, telling me I wouldn't have to hide my true self again. I could confide in my friends. They wouldn't judge me because of my past. They were like my older brothers.
"Embrace the past Nate. Because it should only make you stronger."

"You are a great lad Nate. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Those tattoos are a part of you. I'd struggle to imagine you without them."

Rob knew about the tattoos and wasn't pleased. He grounded me for a month but he didn't stop me from seeing the people I call friends. Yes, maybe they weren't the best influence but they have my back throughout anything and everything in my complicated life.

"Aren't you 'supposed ta tell me I'm wrong for being like this? It's not exactly normal."
"Strictly speaking yes, but it wouldn't be very fair on you. You are who you are." he stated. "I like the sleeve of ivy. Don't get me wrong, I was livid when you first got them but they've grown on me."
"Well thanks Rob. I like the gears the best. They keep me turning." I joked, earning a laugh from Rob.

My right arm was covered in gears wrapped up vines of ivy. It was painful to have done but the best decision I could have made. If I was ever feeling low, I'd trace the hidden words in the ivy with my fingers. Brave. Strong. True.

All of a sudden, the office phone started ringing, it's noise enough to make any blind man deaf. I always forgot how loud that damn machine is. You could probably hear it down the road.
"We'll continue this in a moment. Don't go anywhere." Rob jogged off towards the blaring sound to catch it before it stopped ringing.

My cheek had finally turned numb so I put the thawing peas back in the freezer and pulled a chocolate milk out the fridge. I think the chocolate milk is George's but I needed the sugar. My mom had taken it out of me. I'd just have to replace it if he notices.

"Nate. We've got an emergency placement coming in. I've not been given specifics but he may be here a while. I need you to clean out the box room with me then welcome him. Please. I'm counting on you."
It was rare for us to get emergencies here so we weren't prepared for a new arrival. Almost all the rooms here were full but we had a few spare that we used for storage.

"When are they coming?"
"Now."