Just The Two Of Us <Sweet Pea FF>

72. Love again

It always feels like there is just one person in this world to love. And then you find somebody else, and it just seems crazy that you were ever worried in the first place.

That's what Veronica told me yesterday at lunch. And I hope she is right because I feel like I could never love someone as purely as I love sweet pea.
Loved.

I keep on repeating her words in my head as I stand in front of the mirror, deciding what to wear for my date with Munroe.
I mean it sounds pretty wise to me, so i guess it could be true. But Ronnie as well went back to Archie.

"Ugh, whatever" I swear and throw my clothes to the ground. I just can't decide on what to wear but that may be because I really don't want to go. But from my experience the events you don't want to attend at all turn out to be the best and vice versa.

Finally I've decided on what to wear. It's casual. We are just going to the movies after all.

"Bye Fp, I'm going to the movies" I scream already half through the door.
"Stop" he appears behind me and I turn around.

"With?"
"Just a friend" I smile innocently, but fp doesn't seem to believe me. Crossing his arms on his chest and raising an eyebrow he looks at me.
"Aha. Well, have fun with your 'friend', don't come back too late"
"Thanks, I won't, bye bye."

And I'm out the door.

"You look great" Munroe compliments me as he opens the door to his car for me. Yes, he has a car. I do like that.
"Thanks, you too" I smile awkwardly but he doesn't seem to notice it and walks around the car to get inside.

A couple minutes later we sit down in the red velvet seats of the cinema. Surprisingly, we could talk pretty well. Not once has there been this awkward silence during the ride.

He talked about the community centre and his family. Munroe has had an impressive journey for his young age. And it turns out we have a lot in common, except for our taste in movies.

Munroe likes thriller and action movies, who would have guessed.

The auditorium is a hush and would be silent were it not for the steady consumption of the concession snacks. The only light is from the movie, an old black and white film of my favourite genre - “film noir.” For a non-smoking pacifist I sure soak up cynical characters and grim tales surprisingly well. I'm sure there's a part of me that wants to be just like the tough “dames,” perhaps without the chain smoking.

My focus is shattered, remembering my first official date with sweet pea. We watched 'Casablanca' although he didn't like the film as much as I did. But to my right is not sweet pea, but Munroe.

Pull it together Julia, you are not pulling a Rachel and think about your ex during a date. Ok sweet pea is not buying a cat and I'm not drunk but I could call him and lie that I'm over him.

The lights turn on again. Was this movie like a second long?

"So what did you think?" His dark brown eyes look into mine.
"I, eh, liked it, what about you?"
"Yeah, it wasn't bad" he smiles with such a gentleness.

Munroe is perfect, he is the perfect guy. He is funny, nice, we have great talks and I feel like he genuinely cares about me. And he is not bad looking with his soft eyes but manly figure. And he has this muscular but not too thick neck, which is a rare occurrence for people who are as ripped as he is.

So he is perfect but I can't stop thinking about sweet pea, that asshole. I should have never kissed him. He should have never kissed me. First he tells me that he only wants to be friends but decides to confuse me with a hot and heavy make out session in a broom closet.

Sweet pea turned into a fuckboy, who kisses a new girl every day and Munroe is a nice guy who wants to help kids get off the street.

"What's wrong? Did you not have fun tonight?" His deep voice rips me back into reality. We are standing outside now and a cold wind blows around our faces. Although it's not that late, the sky is completely black and only the neon lights of the cinema brighten up the night.

"Oh no nothing's wrong. It was a great night, thank you" I smile, pushing sweetpea out of my mind.

A small but satisfied smile plays around munroes lips and his hands wander up to my face.

He gently leans in and I feel his warm lips on mine.

Sometimes I just let things happen.
His lips are on mine and I don't do anything although I want to pull away. I can't explain it but I just let it happen, it's just something I do. I'm not proud of it, especially in this moment, since Munroe will get false hopes.

I get active and my hands touch his chest, gently parting us.

"I'm sorry" his eyes are locked to the ground while his hand starts rubbing his neck. He is uncomfortable and probably embarrassed.

"No, don't be..." a sigh escapes my mouth and turns visible in the cold air.
"I'm sorry. I really had a great time but... I don't think I'm ready to date yet. You are an incredible guy but it wouldn't be fair to lead you on like that when I know..."

"Ok, thanks for being honest. But we can stay friends right?" he asks and I nod reassuringly but the uneasy tension in the air is nearly visible like my breath.

I guess it's okay to feel awkward, I'd rather feel that way and be real than any other. So I wear awkwardness like it's my own personal label.